Also By UsSlow RobotI Waste So Much TimeI Waste So Much MoneyDear Blank Please BlankAttack of the Cute
Tips for success
When first meeting a girl, open up with a sexist joke. It will set a precedence for your dominance, which will endure for the rest of your relationship.
Signs that things aren't going so well
You find out your boss is the kid you teased in the 7th grade...
Signs that things aren't going so well
Your Friday nights are spent making outfits for your cats.
Definition
Need (verb) - American slang for want.
Definition
Slut (noun) - A woman with the morals of a man.
Realized
Two of the biggest problems in the world are hunger and overpopulation. We could solve them both by eating babies.
Fact
He who laughs last probably wasn't listening, and is only laughing because everyone else is.
Tips for success
Always remember that you are unique. Just like everyone else.
Definition
Lip gloss (noun) - Synonymous with snack.
Definition
Awkward (adjective) - When your teacher asks the Jewish kid in your class what he would like for Christmas.
Definition
Thesaurus (noun) - The book that is also a dinosaur.
To do list
Read Twilight. Cry over the death of literature.
Realized
If a baby is born in Vegas, it has to stay there.
Signs that things aren't going so well
You just saw daddy kissing Santa Clause.
Realized
If ladybugs weren't red with pretty little spots, we would kill them too.
Definition
Jeggings (noun) - A loophole in the dress code.
Signs that things aren't going so well
You have signed a peace treaty. Your enemies offer you a giant wooden horse.
Tips for success
Wearing short shorts and low cut tops to work will show your boss that you are serious about conserving the earth's resources to the point of sacrificing your own clothing.
Definition
Running of the bulls (pronoun) - Trampling of the idiots.
Signs that things aren't going so well
You think in Facebook status updates.