Also By UsSlow RobotI Waste So Much TimeI Waste So Much MoneyDear Blank Please BlankAttack of the Cute
Fact
You can call half of the world's population less than average.
Definition
Teenager (noun) - When you're too young for half the things you want to do and too old to do the other half.
Fact
You will never have to pee quite as bad as when you're waiting for a stall to open up.
Signs that things aren't going so well
Your doomsday prediction was a dud... again...
Signs that things aren't going so well
You are winded taking the escalator.
Realized
It took tens of thousands of years for humans to go from wearing no clothes to covering almost every inch of their bodies. It's taken about 200 years to reverse the process.
Signs that things aren't going so well
You stopped to smell the roses. A bee flew up your nose.
To do list
Walk through a large crowd. Ask someone every so often if they've seen Waldo.
Fact
Hamburgers contain no ham.
Definition
Advice (noun) - People's own regrets about their life choices projected onto you.
Signs that things aren't going so well
Your boyfriend only wants to stay with you long enough to make sure you have your next period.
Signs that things aren't going so well
You didn't do your homework because you thought you were going to be raptured.
Definition
It's a long story (phrase) - It's not a long story, I just don't like you enough to tell you.
Definition
High School reunion (noun) - The old fashioned way of seeing how fat everyone got.
Definition
President (noun) - The person to blame when everything in the US turns to crap.
Signs that things aren't going so well
The foreign exchange student thinks you're weird.
Definition
Slut (noun) - A woman with the morals of a man.
Tips for success
Always log into StumbleUpon right before a deadline to get your creative juices flowing.
Realized
People in movies never have to go pee.
Fact
The Spanish word for wife is the same as the Spanish word for handcuffs.