Also By UsSlow RobotI Waste So Much TimeI Waste So Much MoneyDear Blank Please BlankAttack of the Cute
Tips for success
When girls don't want to talk to you it means they have a crush on you. Be persistent.
Definition
Horrifying (noun) - When you think you've taken the last step on the stairs but there's one more.
Definition
FatBooth (proper noun) - An application designed to show what you will look like in 10 years.
Tips for success
Wait untill your finished your shower then look for a towel.
Tips for success
When considering doing something stupid, make someone else do it first.
Definition
Grapefruit. (noun) - An item created for the sole purpose of giving humans something to compare tumors to.
Signs that things aren't going so well
The name of your expensive, foreign, bottled water is "naive" spelled backwards.
Fact
Even if you swear it's there, a fruit fly will always make others question your sanity.
Realized
There are braille letters on the drive-up ATM.
Definition
Kangaroo (noun) - A major mode of transport for Australians.
To do list
Simply walk into Mordor.
Definition
Dyslexic agnostic insomniac (noun) - Someone who stays up late at night wondering if there is a dog.
Fact
If it's a good movie, it's not on Netflix.
Fact
When opening a bag of bread, you will always skip the first piece.
Signs that things aren't going so well
You threw out your entire Beatles CD collection to make room for your Miley Cyrus and Justin Beiber CDs.
Tips for success
Be a pessimist, you're always either right or pleasantly surprised.
Definition
Awkward (adjective) - When your fat friend calls herself fat.
Signs that things aren't going so well
Your heart beats a little faster when you see her. You've started assigning genders to food products.
Signs that things aren't going so well
Your BMI is higher than your IQ.
Definition
Horror (noun) - What you feel when you realize your friend genuinely likes Justin Bieber.