Whoever said money can't buy happiness didn't know where to go shopping.
Definition
FatBooth (proper noun) - An application designed to show what you will look like in 10 years.
Signs that things aren't going so well
You comment on your friends Facebook post and they respond with "Wait, who is this?"
Fact
If the world does not end on December 21st, there will be a lot of babies born on September 20th, 2013.
Realized
I thought I was antisocial. Turns out I just hate idiots.
Signs that things aren't going so well
Your mother-in-law is starting to realize you've been ignoring her friend requests.
Realized
Marriage isn't a word, it's a sentence.
To do list
Go into a bank wearing a ski mask. Complete a normal transaction. Leave as if nothing is wrong.
Signs that things aren't going so well
Your child can open pill bottles better than you can.
Signs that things aren't going so well
You just got your letter to Hogwarts. It's in your mom's handwriting.
Fact
Yellow snow is lemonade flavored and high in vitamin P.
To do list
Wrap myself in bubble wrap. Walk around holding a sign that says "Free hugs."
Tips for success
Stare at your roommate while they're sleeping. They'll be touched that you're looking out for them.
Signs that things aren't going so well
Your only serving of vegetable comes from the ketchup packs that come with your Quarter Pounder.
Definition
Soulmate (noun) - Someone who does the same weird things you do.
Signs that things aren't going so well
You make your imaginary friend an email account, Facebook, and Twitter just to prove that he's real.
Tips for success
When you get a cut or scratch, rub it with a mixture of lemon juice and salt. The salve is soothing and has a healing power.
Realized
Scented markers don't taste at all how they smell.
Tips for success
Facts
Signs that things aren't going so well
Realized
To do list
Definitions
Popular
Moderate
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