Signs that things aren't going so well
You can't fit into your mothers clothing anymore.
Tips for success
If you have a severe allergy to something, try to come in contact with it often in order to build up an immunity.
Definition
Latte (noun) - Italian for "you paid too much for that coffee."
To do list
Make elaborate Hogwarts rejection letters. Put in mailboxes of my enemies.
Fact
Roses may be red, but violets are definitely violet.
To do list
Remove cookie dough chunks from cookie dough ice cream. Bake.
Signs that things aren't going so well
You have red hair.
Signs that things aren't going so well
You bought a hula-hoop. It fits you.
Fact
It's not possible to make cookies without eating some cookie dough.
Tips for success
Save your breath, you are going to need it to inflate your valentine.
To do list
Buy lots of interesting books that I'm dying to read. Spend all my free time browsing pointless websites instead.
Signs that things aren't going so well
The foreign exchange student in your English class just passed the grammar test that you failed.
Signs that things aren't going so well
John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt changed his name, so not to be associated with you any longer.
Definition
Finals (noun) - The time of the year when everyone who called you a nerd suddenly wants to be your best friend.
Fact
You will sleep well tonight, unless you have something important to do tomorrow.
Signs that things aren't going so well
You're getting a divorce and your parents just hired the best lawyer they can afford... for your ex-wife.
Fact
Friends are like condoms, they protect you when things get hard.
Tips for success
Pour ample amounts of salt onto fresh wounds to prevent infection.
Signs that things aren't going so well
You doctor's name is House, and you actually have Lupus.
Tips for success
When it comes to group work, do absolutely nothing. Not doing your part will show the others how great you think their work is in comparison to yours.
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