Also By UsSlow RobotI Waste So Much TimeI Waste So Much MoneyDear Blank Please BlankAttack of the Cute
Fact
Productivity is inversely proportional to how much time is left before your project is due.
To do list
Dress up in a chicken costume. Cross the street.
Definition
Remote control (noun) - An adhesive force between your butt and the sofa.
Signs that things aren't going so well
The tweenagers have invaded your favorite humor site.
Fact
That hilarious joke you just read will be the most boring thing in the world once you tell it to your friends.
Signs that things aren't going so well
You're on a hike to the top of a mountain with your dad. Your dad's name is Abraham.
Signs that things aren't going so well
Your six-pack abs are more like a baker's dozen of rolls.
Fact
The grenade will explode whether or not he catches it.
Definition
Frustration (noun) - When one realizes their crush does not have a Facebook profile for them to stalk.
Definition
Sports (noun) - The only time it is perfectly socially acceptable for men to slap each other on the butt.
Signs that things aren't going so well
Your doctor just typed your symptoms into Google.
Signs that things aren't going so well
Your boyfriend calls and cancels because he's "washing his hair."
Definition
Terror (adjective) - The millisecond that you lean your chair back a little too far.
Fact
Roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, this one doesn't.
Signs that things aren't going so well
Your mirror just told you your step daughter is prettier than you.
Definition
Mosquito (noun) - Mother Nature's way of getting you to slap yourself.
Realized
Snuggies are fuzzy hospital gowns.
Definition
Entertainment (noun) - The rubber glue on the back of giftcards.
Definition
Happiness (noun) - Waking up thinking you're late for class and then realizing it's Saturday.
Fact
When you have a fat friend, there are no such thing as see-saws, only catapults.