Also By UsSlow RobotI Waste So Much TimeI Waste So Much MoneyDear Blank Please BlankAttack of the Cute
Signs that things aren't going so well
You threw a party and invited all of your friends. He didn't show up.
To do list
Change name to Simon. Speak in third person.
Tips for success
When you feel blue, try to start breathing again.
Signs that things aren't going so well
You have to hire a babysitter to go to prom.
Signs that things aren't going so well
You changed churches to find pews that can support your weight.
Definition
Don't try this at home (phrase) - Try this at a friend's house instead.
Fact
Popcorn always tastes better before a movie has started.
Definition
Ignorant (adjective) - A way of calling someone stupid while sounding smart in the process.
Fact
Calling a teacher "Mom" will end with awkward silence.
Signs that things aren't going so well
You're in the girl's bathroom and the toilet seat is up.
Signs that things aren't going so well
A truckload of Americans drive into Mexico.
Definition
Life (noun) - A terminal disease contracted at birth.
Signs that things aren't going so well
You had a dream about eating a giant marshmallow. Your pillow is gone when you wake.
Fact
Boys will always love you. Well, parts of you.
Tips for success
If you can feel something beating in your chest, it's probably a bomb. Try removing it with a sharp object.
Fact
If a girl turns you down, she must be a lesbian.
Signs that things aren't going so well
Your girlfriend's stubble tickles your face when she kisses you.
To do list
Destroy a small child's dreams. Kick a puppy. Set DVR to record Spongebob.
Signs that things aren't going so well
Your sister likens her situation of being pregnant before marriage to the virgin Mary.
Realized
Fantasy football is just Dungens and Dragons for jocks.