Also By UsSlow RobotI Waste So Much TimeI Waste So Much MoneyDear Blank Please BlankAttack of the Cute
To do list
Dress up like Waldo for your class photo.
Definition
Confidence (noun) - Leaving the house without deleting your internet history.
Signs that things aren't going so well
You only brush your teeth for special occasions.
Tips for success
When pulled over by a policeman, always ask what the problem is, and whether or not it can be solved over a box of donuts.
Tips for success
Prank call 911. They will love the humor since their jobs are so stressful.
Definition
Duct tape (noun) - Mute button for the girl held against her will in your basement.
Tips for success
The best day to ask girls out is April Fool's Day. That way if she says no, you can act like you were joking.
To do list
Play hide and seek in Ikea.
Signs that things aren't going so well
You look more like the mailman than your dad.
Signs that things aren't going so well
Your ex-boyfriend on vacation in France sends you a postcard that says "Wish you were her." It wasn't a typo...
Signs that things aren't going so well
You've actually read the terms and conditions.
Definition
Texting (verb) - What one pretends to do in awkward situations.
Signs that things aren't going so well
You're jealous that the creeper likes your friend better.
Signs that things aren't going so well
Your girlfriend gets more action than you do.
Signs that things aren't going so well
You made out with your large siberian husky because he reminded you of Jacob Black.
Fact
Fat people are harder to kidnap.
Fact
To steal ideas from one person is plagarism. To steal from many is research.
Signs that things aren't going so well
Your boyfriend only fell in love with you because your blood smells delicious.
Realized
Mummies are the raisins of people.
Tips for success
Be obnoxious and completely unlikeable. You'll either get a record deal or your own TV show.