Also By UsSlow RobotI Waste So Much TimeI Waste So Much MoneyDear Blank Please BlankAttack of the Cute
Tips for success
To improve your math students' productivity, strap time bombs to their chests and hide the unlocking combination in one of the answers.
Signs that things aren't going so well
Lady Gaga thinks you dress weird.
Signs that things aren't going so well
Your 13-year-old friends pull up in a car, and you can't decide what seat to take.
Signs that things aren't going so well
The words "UR A LOSER" appear in your alphabet soup.
Tips for success
When on a date with a girl, tell her you're a misogynist. Girls like guys with great massaging skills.
Fact
The more you want to talk to someone the longer it takes them to text you back.
Definition
Automatic flushing toilet (noun) - A device used to let you know when you are half way done peeing.
Tips for success
To teach your nosy neighbors a lesson, name your WIFI network, "send help, held hostage."
Realized
A train station is where the train stops. A bus station is where the bus stops. On my desk, I have a work station...
Fact
Abercrombie sells clothes by showing pictures of people with no clothes on.
Fact
Guns don't kill people, gaping holes in vital organs kill people.
Definition
Supervisor (noun) - Someone who gets paid more than you to do less than you.
Fact
The more calories a food has, the better it tastes.
Definition
Shin (noun) - A device for finding furniture in the dark.
Definition
Alcohol (noun) - A bitter fluid used to help white people dance.
To do list
Set several clocks one minute apart. Make several wishes at 11:11.
To do list
Go to a volleyball game. Wait for first serve. Run onto court screaming "WILSON!!!"
Signs that things aren't going so well
You can type 'facebook.com' faster than you can type your own name.
Fact
Everything you do will always seem 10 times louder when you're trying to be quiet.
To do list
Change Microsoft Word autocorrect to automatically change Voldemort into He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.