Also By UsSlow RobotI Waste So Much TimeI Waste So Much MoneyDear Blank Please BlankAttack of the Cute
Signs that things aren't going so well
Your dad is going to your father-daughter dance with a different teenage girl...
Tips for success
To get rid of wrinkles, simply iron your face.
Definition
Horrifying (noun) - When you think you've taken the last step on the stairs but there's one more.
Fact
No matter what car insurance company you use, you will save $500 if you switch to a different one.
Definition
Weight loss program (noun) - A program that helps you lose weight, become tan, get a better haircut, and whitens your teeth.
Signs that things aren't going so well
You learned about Shakespeare from Taylor Swift.
Tips for success
When sick, drink Lysol. It will kill 99.9% of the bacteria and viruses that are causing your sickness.
Realized
Your mom's recipes are vague and confusing on purpose, so you'll be forced to call her.
Tips for success
Go to fast food places frequently and supersize your meals. You'll be providing necessary support for businesses while stimulating the economy.
Signs that things aren't going so well
Your imaginary significant other decides to leave you because "they want different things out of life."
To do list
Count the letters in the word "Dyscalculia."
Signs that things aren't going so well
You just tried to buy a can of elbow grease.
Tips for success
Open a pack of gum in class, become the most popular kid in school for a few seconds.
Fact
Putting a pretty shirt over your muffin top does not make you a cupcake.
Definition
Ripple (noun) - When a group of midgets do the wave.
Definition
Revenge (noun) - Sneaking peanuts into the food of your enemy with a peanut allergy.
Signs that things aren't going so well
Your tampon string is too long for your dress.
Realized
Playing Angry Birds is not the same as studying for a physics test.
Realized
You can't talk while inhaling through your nose.
Fact
You will always run out of ketchup before you finish eating your fries.