Also By UsSlow RobotI Waste So Much TimeI Waste So Much MoneyDear Blank Please BlankAttack of the Cute
Definition
Secret (noun) - Something that you tell other people to get attention.
Tips for success
Break up with your significant other the day before major holidays. That way you are not obligated to buy them a present.
Signs that things aren't going so well
Even the voices in your head don't like you.
Realized
Celebrities spend all their lives working to become someone that everyone will recognize and then spend their time in dark sunglasses and hats trying not to be reocognized.
Definition
Rain (noun) - Nature's way of telling you that your hair doesn't look so good today, and you should start over.
Realized
Imagining people in their underwear only works until you realize that your parents are in the audience.
Signs that things aren't going so well
You have 19 kids... and counting.
Signs that things aren't going so well
You like your dog more than your boyfriend.
Definition
Unicorn (noun) - A single piece of corn.
Definition
Halloween hangover (noun) - The feeling you get after eating too much of your candy.
To do list
Follow joggers around in a car blasting "Eye of the Tiger" for encouragement.
Fact
It's somehow easier to memorize all the lines to a movie than to memorize one page of notes for school.
Definition
Physics (noun)- The science where you use extremely long and complicated formulas to explain why a ball rolls.
Realized
Better late than pregnant.
Tips for success
Get pregnant when you're a teenager. It will convince your parents that you're mature and responsible.
Realized
A train station is where the train stops. A bus station is where the bus stops. On my desk, I have a work station...
Definition
Terabyte (noun) - The worlds most terrifying unit of measurment.
Realized
Say what you like about pedophiles. They're the only ones going 25 in a school zone.
Tips for success
When running from a bear, make sure you are with someone else who runs slower than you.
Tips for success
Instead of wasting money on a vasectomy, just wear skinny jeans.