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Definition
Awkward (adjective) - When you are looking at yourself in the window of a parked car and there is a person inside staring back at you.
Tips for success
Be nice to people who have nude pictures of you.
Definition
Summer vacation (noun) - A time to forget everything you learned during the school year.
Signs that things aren't going so well
The therapist that you've been seeing for the past year finally said his first words to you... "no hablo ingles."
Fact
When men don't shave for a while it's rugged and masculine. When women don't shave for a while it's rugged and masculine.
Signs that things aren't going so well
You can't remember all of your cats names.
Fact
Squirrels always cross the street right in front of a car.
To do list
Go to a football game, hold up a sign that reads "The guy behind me can't see."
Definition
Black Hole (noun) - The space between the seat and the center console in your car.
Signs that things aren't going so well
You just found out that your girlfriend didn't get pregnant from a hot tub.
Tips for success
Look annoyed all the time, people will think you are busy and important.
Fact
The best place to hide a body is page 2 of Google search results.
Signs that things aren't going so well
People put their other earbud in when they see you coming.
Signs that things aren't going so well
Your "girlfriend" still won't meet you outside of the strip club.
Tips for success
The closer you are to the speed limit the more suspicious you appear. Try to speed as often as possible.
Fact
Everything increases your risk of dying.
Realized
Your siblings are proof that your parents didn't learn their lesson.
Tips for success
Turn your clocks ahead one week early to insure a smooth transition to day light savings time.
Signs that things aren't going so well
Your mother can text faster than you.
Signs that things aren't going so well
You're using the "eeny, meeny, miny, moe" strategy on your finals.