Also By UsSlow RobotI Waste So Much TimeI Waste So Much MoneyDear Blank Please BlankAttack of the Cute
Tips for success
To get whiter teeth, simply cover them with whiteout.
Definition
Physics (noun)- The science where you use extremely long and complicated formulas to explain why a ball rolls.
Fact
Parents may have had to do their homework without Wikipedia, but they also didn't have Facebook.
Fact
Girls have a higher risk of getting pregnant than boys.
Tips for success
Write the alphabet backwards on your steering wheel.
Signs that things aren't going so well
Your best pick up line is "Get in the van!"
Definition
Gum friend (noun) - The guy who's only friends with you when you have gum.
Fact
Ignorance is a renewable resource.
Fact
Your bag will be the last one out of the carousel at the airport if you're intensely watching for it.
Signs that things aren't going so well
There is a jungle cat in your bathroom.
Signs that things aren't going so well
Your therapist just rolled her eyes at you.
Definition
Tanning (noun) - Paying for skin cancer.
Realized
Easy Bake Ovens are not the same thing as microwaves.
Realized
Despite the recent increase in the cost of living, it still remains very popular.
Definition
Fathers (noun) - Men with pictures in their wallets where their money used to be.
Realized
The best hipster jokes are the ones that nobody tells.
Signs that things aren't going so well
A dieting company asks you to represent their product... for the "before" picture.
Tips for success
Your hair will dry much faster if you use your hair dryer while showering.
Signs that things aren't going so well
Your idea of checking the news is scrolling through your Facebook news feed.
Fact
Adding "and then we made out" will make every story sound ten times better.