Also By UsSlow RobotI Waste So Much TimeI Waste So Much MoneyDear Blank Please BlankAttack of the Cute
Fact
The #1 cause of death in a Disney movie is being a mother.
Signs that things aren't going so well
You check behind your shower curtain, there actually is a murderer.
Signs that things aren't going so well
The only contacts in your phone are the numbers for nearby restaurants.
Definition
Wikipedia (proper noun) - The best friend that stayed up for two nights straight helping you write your term paper and slipped your mind when adding citations.
Definition
Weekend before exams (noun) - A period of time in which dish washing becomes a favorite activity.
Realized
"Yell for help" is not in the list of top 100 things to do before you die.
Tips for success
Fail the first semester. That way you don't set an unrealistically high standard for the rest of the school year.
Definition
Etc (acronym) - End of thinking capacity.
Tips for success
To save time in the shower, wash only the top half of your body. Let gravity do the rest.
Signs that things aren't going so well
Your Easter egg hunt turned up 12 eggs and a dead body.
To do list
Go to a Christian store. Make a purchase that totals $6.66.
Definition
Creepy (adjective) - Tickling somebody without smiling at the same time.
Tips for success
If you drive fast enough, the radar won't be able to pick you up.
To do list
Buy Grim Reaper costume. Stand outside nursing home and wave.
Realized
We kill people that kill people, to show people that killing people is wrong.
Definition
Research (noun) - Fancy way of saying "I Googled it."
Signs that things aren't going so well
Your penpal from another country knows more about your country than you do.
Realized
Life is nothing like a box of chocolates.
To do list
Become old. Yell at children.
Realized
Pregnancy is inception. It's a human inside of a human.