Also By UsSlow RobotI Waste So Much TimeI Waste So Much MoneyDear Blank Please BlankAttack of the Cute
Realized
At one point in history it required talent to become a singer.
Tips for success
Never text her back within the hour. It will create suspense; your relationship will blossom.
Tips for success
If stopped by a policeman, run. This is a good way to exercise your tax dollars.
Signs that things aren't going so well
Your therapist feels sorry for you.
Tips for success
To get a song out of your head, you must yell the lyrics into the ear of the person nearest to you.
Signs that things aren't going so well
All of your current friends are wearing orange jumpsuits.
Signs that things aren't going so well
You can't decide which seat to take...but there's only one open.
Definition
Awkward (adjective) - Sitting on a warm toilet seat.
Signs that things aren't going so well
The tag to your mattress is missing.
Fact
You are never too old to run up the stairs on all fours.
Signs that things aren't going so well
You show to a party and Lady Gaga is wearing the same outfit as you.
Realized
For all we know, gummy bear vitamins could be gummy bears.
Signs that things aren't going so well
You look normal in a funhouse mirror.
Realized
Wishing your pet could talk is fun until you realize all the things you've done in front of it.
Fact
No matter what book you're reading, it will always be #1 on the Best Seller's List.
Definition
Radio (noun) - A string of advertisements occasionally interrupted by a song.
Tips for success
When you go on a job interview, make sure to wear the competitor's brand. This shows that you are familiar with the industry.
Realized
Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.
Signs that things aren't going so well
You just realized you have the same problem that they are basing a reality TV show around.
To do list
Destroy the gnome that keeps tangling my iPod headphones.