Also By UsSlow RobotI Waste So Much TimeI Waste So Much MoneyDear Blank Please BlankAttack of the Cute
Fact
It's not possible to make cookies without eating some cookie dough.
Fact
That hilarious joke you just read will be the most boring thing in the world once you tell it to your friends.
Realized
Disney Movies have taught me to hate my parents and depend on boys to kiss me and save me from harm.
Tips for success
Whenever you’re having a bad day, just imagine the person that caused it wearing Crocs.
Realized
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.
Signs that things aren't going so well
The KKK releases a statement saying they want nothing to do with you.
Definition
I'm an adult (phrase) - What a grown person says when they're acting like a child.
Tips for success
Decline to be seated at a restaurant; simply eat their complimentary mints at the cash register.
Tips for success
Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars, or the unimaginable, hideous, gaping void of space... one of the two.
Tips for success
Add as much salt as you can to your food. It's a natural preservative and will help you live longer.
Signs that things aren't going so well
Other people can tell when you've taken a shower.
Signs that things aren't going so well
The top won't stop spinning.
Signs that things aren't going so well
You just found a toe in the meat pie that you're eating.
Signs that things aren't going so well
One of the side effects for your anti-depressants is suicidal thoughts.
Definition
Wall (noun) - An object that stands between you and a shorter way to your destination.
Fact
The more times you apologize the more likely it is that you're Canadian.
Signs that things aren't going so well
You tell people you have friends, but forget to mention you mean you have all ten seasons.
Realized
The only problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
Realized
The Wicked Witch of the West never showered.
Definition
Memory impairment (noun) - The free prize at the bottom of every bottle of vodka.