Signs that things aren't going so well
Your "girlfriend" still won't meet you outside of the strip club.
Definition
Christmas (noun) - The only holiday where we sit infront of dead trees and eat candy out of our socks.
Fact
Popcorn always tastes better before a movie has started.
Signs that things aren't going so well
You are currently in Egypt.
Signs that things aren't going so well
The townspeople are burning effigies of you again.
Definition
Polar bears (noun) - The reason Canada doesn't need a standing army.
Tips for success
If all else fails, stop using all else.
Fact
If you stare at the sun for 5 minutes, it'll go away.
Tips for success
Go to a playground with your new-born baby. When someone says "That's such a cute little baby!" tell them that's why you kidnapped it.
Definition
It's the thought that counts (phrase) - I hate the gift you just gave me.
To do list
Install clap activated lights at a concert hall.
Signs that things aren't going so well
Your girlfriend broke up with you because she wants to experience the "bigger things" in life.
Realized
Today I broke my record for days of not dying. I plan to break it again tomorrow.
To do list
Have kids after 2012. Make them watch 2012. Tell your kids "Yup, I survived that..."
To do list
Buy four pigs. Paint 1, 2, 3, and 5 on each pig. Let them loose in a mall and watch security try to find number 4.
Definition
Earth quake (noun) - The result of Chuck Norris meeting Charlie Sheen.
Realized
The only way Axe can get you a girl, is if you spray her in the eyes with it and drag her into the alley.
Definition
Narrow sidewalk (noun) - How to tell if your best friend likes your other friend more.
Fact
You are now thinking about pink elephants.
Tips for success
To teach your nosy neighbors a lesson, name your WIFI network, "send help, held hostage."
EVERYTHING WITHIN A MILLION PIXEL RADIUS OF HERE, COPYRIGHT © GROUCHYRABBIT.COM - CONTACT US - FEEDBACK - TERMS AND PRIVACY