Also By UsSlow RobotI Waste So Much TimeI Waste So Much MoneyDear Blank Please BlankAttack of the Cute
Realized
The people in the library don't appreciate porn sites as much as you do.
Definition
You had to be there (phrase) - Said when the story you just told isn't as funny as you thought it was.
Tips for success
Pay attention in your High School Spanish class... It will help you in your future career at Taco Bell.
To do list
Fill cup with water. Hold over head. Breathe under water forever.
Signs that things aren't going so well
You just used the phrase, "I'll Yahoo it."
To do list
Go to the beach. Bury metal objects that say "get a life" on them.
Fact
The hipster fox hibernates in the summer. He is underground before it becomes cool.
Realized
The real message of The Wizard of Oz is that, with the right pair of heels, a girl can get whatever she wants.
Signs that things aren't going so well
Helen Keller thinks you're ugly.
Definition
Irony (adjective) - The opposite of wrinkly.
Tips for success
Trying is the first step toward failure. Don't try.
To do list
Get into an argument. Realize I'm wrong. Continue arguing.
Fact
Someday people will look back on high heels the same way we look back on Chinese foot binding.
Realized
People that have welcome mats on their doorstep should not get upset when someone breaks into their house.
Fact
You will always sniff something that someone describes as disgusting.
Fact
Nothing you show your friend is ever as funny as when you watch it by yourself. However, when they show you something, it's the funniest thing in the world.
Definition
Boobs (noun) - Totally awesome, unless they're on a guy.
Tips for success
Sing the Pink Panther theme song when stealing things. This raises your stealth ability by 50%.
Definition
Joy (noun) - When you eat a raisin muffin only to discover it's actually chocolate chip.
Definition
Self confidence (noun) - Writing "answer key" at the top of your exam before you turn it in.