Also By UsSlow RobotI Waste So Much TimeI Waste So Much MoneyDear Blank Please BlankAttack of the Cute
Signs that things aren't going so well
Your girlfriend holds you during a scary movie as you cry.
Signs that things aren't going so well
You have to continually remind yourself that the characters of Glee and Harry Potter aren't real.
Signs that things aren't going so well
Your crush tells you she can't go out with you because she isn't ready to date. You met on a dating website.
Tips for success
Snack on tin foil. It's a good source of iron.
Signs that things aren't going so well
The only times you hear the words "well done" are when you're taking someone's steak order.
Tips for success
Never knock on heavens door. Ring the doorbell and then run, he hates that.
Definition
Irony (noun) - Eating eggs and bacon while playing Angry Birds.
Realized
Gum is to school what cigarettes are to prison.
Definition
Toaster (noun) - A small appliance with two settings, burned and really burned.
Signs that things aren't going so well
No one emails you anymore, so you revert to checking your spam folder.
Tips for success
When asked "Why should we hire you?" in a job interview, reply with "I'm a vampire and can work with 200% efficiency." You're sure to get the job.
Fact
Alcohol (noun) - The cause and solution to all of the world's problems.
Signs that things aren't going so well
You walk out of the bathroom, wondering why your phone is no longer in your back pocket.
Tips for success
Your scented markers taste exactly the same way they smell. Eat them for a quick low calorie snack during class.
Definition
Kangaroo (noun) - A major mode of transport for Australians.
Definition
Halloween hangover (noun) - The feeling you get after eating too much of your candy.
Realized
Literature is open to interpretation... as long as it matches your English teacher's.
Definition
Secret (noun) - What you tell everybody to not tell anyone else.
Realized
School is like an erection. It's long and hard unless you're Asian.
Realized
If you open your mind too much your brain will fall out.