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NASCAR (acronym) - Non Athletic Sport Centered Around Rednecks.
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A.D. (abbreviation) - After Dinosaurs.
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Bittersweet (adjective) - Successfully popping every bubble on your bubble wrap sheet.
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Synonym (noun) - A word used in place of the one you can't spell.
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Desk (noun) - An uncomfortable pillow.
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Sick (noun) - When you get to lay in bed and everyone does everything for you.
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The friend zone (noun) - When a girl complains to you about her period.
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Size doesn't matter (phrase) - Saying used by women dating small men.
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Catholic (noun) - A person addicted to cats.
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Tomorrow (noun) - The best time to do everything you had planned for today.
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Friends (noun) - Enemies that just haven't attacked you yet.
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Alcohol (noun) - A therapist that you can visit seven days a week.
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Disappointment (noun) - When you go out of your way to step on a leaf that you thought was crunchy but wasn't.
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Babysitting (verb) - The most effective form of birth control.
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Needs no introduction (phrase) - But because I think you're all too stupid to figure it out, I'll introduce them anyway...
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Nursing home (noun) - A concentration camp for old people.
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Adults (noun) - People who think it's okay to give teenagers their responsibilities but not their rights.
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Cheerios (noun) - Doughnut seeds.
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Winter (noun) - A three month break between women and their razors.
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Period (noun) - Monthly congratulations for having safe sex.