Also By UsSlow RobotI Waste So Much TimeI Waste So Much MoneyDear Blank Please BlankAttack of the Cute
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Awkward (adjective) - When you go in your closet looking for Narnia but, you end up in Monsters Inc.
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Toilet (noun) - Something that only clogs at a friend's house.
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Sleep (noun) - Nothing that can't be solved with a little caffeine.
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Eggroll (noun) - The Chinese burrito.
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Kids (noun) - Punishment for having sex.
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Jackpot (noun) - When you open a Starburst two pack and you get two of your favorite color.
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Fame (noun) - That feeling you get when your name appears in a math problem.
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College (noun) - A reason to make parents buy stuff for you again.
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Archaeologist (noun) - A grave robber who went to college.
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Christopher Reeve (proper noun) - The opposite of Christopher Walken.
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Miracle (noun) - The brief moment when you wake up with 20/20 vision before realizing you fell asleep with your contacts on.
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Metrosexual (noun) - A person who is sexually attracted to public transportation.
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Speed limit (noun) - Signs that tell people less important than you how fast to drive.
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They have a great personality (phrase) - They're ugly.
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Religious warfare (noun) - Fighting over who has the best imaginary friend.
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Summer (noun) - The season where you never know what day it is.
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Heels (noun) - Shoes invented by men to make running away harder.
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Sorry, my phone was off (phrase) - An excuse to ignore your paranoid mother.
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Glitter (noun) - The herpes of arts and crafts.
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Cannibalism (noun) - Hugging someone with your teeth.