Also By UsSlow RobotI Waste So Much TimeI Waste So Much MoneyDear Blank Please BlankAttack of the Cute
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Would you like your receipt? (phrase) - Would you throw this out for me?
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Sweat pants (noun) - Pants worn while watching reruns and eating double cheese nachos.
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Period (noun) - A gnome with a machete running around in your stomach.
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I'm comfortable with you (phrase) - I can fart around you.
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Wedding rings (noun) - An expensive pair of tiny handcuffs.
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English essay (noun) - Where one sentence can become four.
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Oh, you don't have to do that (phrase) - You should do that, I just don't want to feel guilty about it.
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I looked everywhere (phrase) - I checked like two or three places and then gave up.
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Depressing (adjective) - When one reads in a recipe that the food item must be chilled overnight.
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Labor day (noun) - The day that is celebrated all across America by getting a day off work.
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Have a good summer (phrase) - I don't know you, but I feel bad writing nothing but my name in your yearbook.
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Autotune (noun) - Photoshop for singers.
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Procrastination (noun) - The ability to feel exceedingly guilty about not doing any work, and yet continue to not do any.
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Happy Kwanzaa (phrase) - I'm trying to show you that I'm not racist.
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Alcohol (noun) - A device used to help white people dance.
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Are you ticklish? (phrase) - I am going to touch you.
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The iPad (proper noun) - Because not enough people noticed you with the iPhone.
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Religion (noun) - An excuse to have imaginary friends at any age.
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Angry Birds (noun) - How you kill two stones with one bird.
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Tanning (noun) - Paying for skin cancer.