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Birthday suit (noun) - Clothes you wear when you don't feel like wearing clothes.
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Stupidity (noun) - Spending real money on virtual items.
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Miracle (noun) - When your iPod plays two good songs in a row.
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Skill (noun) - Being able to drain ramen noodles with only a fork, and not losing a single noodle.
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Confidence (noun) - Leaving the house without deleting your internet history.
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Passover (noun) - Spring cleaning for your colon.
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Happiness (noun) - When the waitress brings you your food.
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Bachelor pad (noun) - A place in which all of the house plants are dead, but there's something growing in the refrigerator.
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Bacon (noun) - A cure to vegetarianism.
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Lazy (adjective) - When someone uses the elevator to get to the second floor.
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Parents (noun) - Living recollections of your embarrassing childhood memories.
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Constellation (noun) - A random jumble of stars connected randomly and then said to form an animal, but more closely resembling a pile of bull crap.
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Awkward (adjective) - The silence that occurs when you accidentally spit on the person you're talking to.
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Couch (noun) - Where you'll be sleeping because your girlfriend can't take a joke.
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You'll use this in life (phrase) - Lies told by sad math teachers because they had a miserable childhood.
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Microbiologist (noun) - A midget who studies life.
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NASCAR (acronym) - Non Athletic Sport Centered Around Rednecks.
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Acupuncture (noun) - Being emo for the rich.
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Super Bowl (proper noun) - The only thing Roman numerals are used for.
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Math (acronym) - Mental Abuse to Humans.