Manicure (noun) - Paying $30 to get made fun of in another language.
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Spell check (noun) - The only reason you don't sound like a complete idiot on the Internet.
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Nursing home (noun) - A concentration camp for old people.
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Canadians (noun) - Wimpy Americans.
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Abstract art (noun) - The solution to "I can't paint."
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Panic! (verb) - Something you do at the disco.
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Friends (noun) - God’s way of apologizing for our families.
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Visually offensive (adjective) - Ugly.
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Organic (adjective) - A grocery term which means twice as expensive.
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Spelling bee (noun) - A group of kids who can spell everything except for "fun," "sex" or "friends."
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Terabyte (noun) - The worlds most terrifying unit of measurment.
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As much as I'd like to stay and talk... (phrase) - I really don't want to talk to you and here's my fake excuse...
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Sadness (noun) - When you see your food coming in a restaurant and then it turns out not to be yours.
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Disappointment (noun) - When you find yourself in Monsters Inc. instead of Narnia.
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Nothing personal (phrase) - This is a direct insult to your character.
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Halloween (proper noun) - The only time you're encouraged to take candy from strangers.
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Substitute teacher (noun) - Do anything you want day.
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Zombies (noun) - The only men that will love you for your brains.
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Gummy Vitamins (proper noun) - How you discover that it's possible to overdose on vitamins.
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