Also By UsSlow RobotI Waste So Much TimeI Waste So Much MoneyDear Blank Please BlankAttack of the Cute
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Rocky road (phrase) - A metaphor that you can eat too.
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At least it can't get any worse (phrase) - What you say to challenge the universe into making your day even more terrible than it already is.
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Planet (noun) - Something that shows up on your face just before prom.
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No, I'm fine (phrase) - I'm in a downward spiral of misery. Unless you're going to buy me ice cream, leave me alone.
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Salt (noun) - Heart attack dust.
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Father's Day (noun) - The most confusing day of the year if you live in the ghetto.
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The talk (noun) - The worst and most frightening moment in any childhood. Duration can range from five minutes to five hours. Always occurs with little to no warning.
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I may or may not have (phrase) - I did.
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Spider (noun) - Nature's way of telling you that you're a little girl.
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Embarrassing (adjective) - When you correct someone's grammar and get it wrong yourself.
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Fox guarding the henhouse (phrase) - A pregnant woman left alone with ice cream in the freezer.
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Abstract art (noun) - The solution to "I can't paint."
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Terrifying (adjective) - When you see a spider in your room but it’s gone before you can get something to kill it with.
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Lunatic (noun) - Anyone driving faster than you.
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Gummy Vitamin (noun) - The only vitamin with which the overdose warning is necessary.
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I still want us to be friends (phrase) - Please don't tell your friends how small my penis is.
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Snort (verb) - The transition from a funny joke to peeing in your pants.
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I'm down for that (phrase) - I'm up for that.
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Happiness (noun) - Facebook stalking your crush and discovering that they're single.
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Conception (noun) - A person within a person.