Definition
Good try (adverb) - You failed.
Definition
Awkward (adjective) - That moment when you're singing a song and you sing the wrong words.
Definition
Happiness (noun) - When you put on clothes straight from the dryer.
Definition
I don't lie (phrase) - I lie about everything. I'm even lying now.
Definition
Printer (noun) - Something that won't work, especially when you really need it to.
Definition
Collection (noun) - An excuse to buy a bunch of worthless stuff that you already have too much of.
Definition
Younger siblings (noun) - Reminders that your parents still have sex.
Definition
Kitten (noun) - A low fat alternative to fully grown cats.
Definition
Microwave (noun) - A hand gesture used by a midget to say "hello."
Definition
Shower (noun) - A sunburn detector.
Definition
Movie theatre (noun) - The best place to go if you wish to spend 5 dollars on a small drink.
Definition
Couch (noun) - Where you'll be sleeping because your girlfriend can't take a joke.
Definition
Call us when you're headed home (phrase) - Your father and I will be having sex, so if you don't want to see us getting it on, I would suggest giving us a call.
Definition
Cleaning your room (verb) - Shoving everything into the closet and hoping it ends up in Narnia.
Definition
Closet (noun) - A place to throw your clothes when your mom tells you to go clean your room.
Definition
Procrastination (noun) - The art of screwing oneself over.
Definition
Uncle Ben's (proper noun) - Spiderman's least favorite rice.
Definition
I'm a feminist (phrase) - I don't get laid.
Definition
Girlfriend (noun) - Someone who is generally ten to fifteen pounds heavier than you wish.
Definition
People watching (verb) - A socially acceptable form of stalking.
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