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Fact
If it doesn't have a Wikipedia page, it isn't of any importance.
Fact
The softness of bread is directly proportionate to the hardness of butter.
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You will always choose the bathroom stall with the broken lock when you really have to pee.
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All your base are belong to us.
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69% of people can find something dirty in every sentence.
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The way to a man's heart is through his stomach, then up, using a sharp knife.
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You will always remember something incredibly important that you did not do right before you go to sleep.
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Hamburgers contain no ham.
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Balloons make a funny sound when you kick them, just like babies.
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Hipsters hate rivers. Too mainstream.
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Your mother won't permit you to have cake for breakfast. However, she will allow you to eat fried cake covered in brown liquid sugar also known as pancakes.
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The more calories a food has, the better it tastes.
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Stupid questions deserve sarcastic answers.
Fact
If a Ke$ha song is playing in the middle of the forest, and no one is around to hear it, it still sucks.
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It's not possible to make cookies without eating some cookie dough.
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Escalators can never break down, they are only temporarily stairs.
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"False information" spelled backwards is "false information."
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If you stare at the sun for 5 minutes, it'll go away.
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Hogwarts is the only school where students actually want to do their homework.
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Cursive isn't as useful as elementary teachers said it would be.