Fact
No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping paper tube is still a light saber...
Fact
You will always wear a sweater on the only warm day of the season, and you will always forget your sweater on the day that you actually need it.
Fact
Possums are born dead on the road.
Fact
If you stand by the sea, it sounds like putting a shell to your ear.
Fact
They call candy "Fun Size" because "Disappointing" doesn't fit on the packaging.
Fact
The loudness of your neighbor's power tool is directly proportionate to how desperate you are to get some sleep.
Fact
Your teacher will never hear you if you are correct, but they will always hear you if you are wrong.
Fact
Your neighbor's lawn service will always show up at 7 am on any day you're able to sleep in.
Fact
87% of objects you "swear you put right there" have grown centipede legs and moved location.
Fact
The Italian word for "evil" is "male."
Fact
It's still rape, even if you yell "surprise."
Fact
A five ounce migratory swallow cannot carry a one pound coconut.
Fact
If Africa eats America, most of world hunger AND obesity will disappear.
Fact
Everybody is weird. It's the normal ones that stick out.
Fact
The sound of your peeing is ten times louder at night.
Fact
The softness of bread is directly proportionate to the hardness of butter.
Fact
Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy marshmallows, which is pretty much the same thing.
Fact
No matter how hot the outside of the Hot Pocket is, the middle will still be frozen.
Fact
No matter how much effort you put into it, you will never repack anything as well as it was packed when you bought it.
Fact
You can make up a random holiday and people will believe you. Happy Leaf Ericson day.
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