Also By UsSlow RobotI Waste So Much TimeI Waste So Much MoneyDear Blank Please BlankAttack of the Cute
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That hilarious joke you just read will be the most boring thing in the world once you tell it to your friends.
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There's always that one weird kid in your class and if you can't tell who it is, I have some bad news for you.
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Residents always drive 10 miles over the speed limit, tourists always drive 10 under.
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You will attract attention if wearing a skirt on a windy day. This is doubly true if you are a man.
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When you have a cold it's really hard to taste anything - except revolting medicine. The flavor of that will come through clear as ever.
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There's no such thing as an automatic door, just gentlemen ninjas.
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The smaller the body part, the more it hurts to jam it into a wall.
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80% of the final exam will be based on the one lecture you missed and the one book you didn't read.
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The phrase "I am" is the shortest sentence in the English language. "I do" is the longest.
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The worse you look, the more attractive people you will see.
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There's no "i" in team but there is an "i" in cliché.
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I could be naked this very moment, and you would never know it.
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You can't say "happiness" without saying "penis."
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The temperature of a room is greatly influenced by the attractiveness of those inside of it.
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How uncomfortable your bed is at night is directly proportional to how comfortable it is when you have to get up in the morning.
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Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves aren't happy.
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No matter how much sleep you get, you will always be tired when waking up at a time before 7am.
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You will always choose the bathroom stall with the broken lock when you really have to pee.
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A computer once beat me at chess, but I won when we played kick ball.
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If you can't find it on Google, it doesn't exist.