Also By UsSlow RobotI Waste So Much TimeI Waste So Much MoneyDear Blank Please BlankAttack of the Cute
Fact
Chuck Norris's patronus is Chuck Norris.
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You just broke your record for most days lived.
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Gingers are good for two things, being made into delicious ginger snaps and not being good for anything else.
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Whoever made the first cookie recipe clearly did not taste the dough before baking.
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The person that you hate the most will always like all your favorite things and ruin them all for you.
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You will always get annoyed by the little triangle the windshield wipers leave behind.
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Dentists will always ask you a question right when they jam something in your mouth.
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All generalizations are bad.
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You will never meet someone who loves their middle name.
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Hamburgers contain no ham.
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Nothing you show your friend is ever as funny as when you watch it by yourself. However, when they show you something, it's the funniest thing in the world.
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If you're having a great day at school, you have obviously forgotten a homework assignment.
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When asked anything about a bruise, you will check to see that it's still there by poking it.
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When we tell our grandchildren just how great imagination is, they will ask how much it costs to download.
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Your parents will always treat your friends better than they treat you.
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You will always find an error in your essay as you stand to turn it in.
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If your dog is fat, you probably aren't getting enough exercise.
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You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public.
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No matter how loud you blast your music, you will never look cool in a minivan.
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The loudness of your neighbor's power tool is directly proportionate to how desperate you are to get some sleep.