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Fact
Food always taste better when taking it from somebody else.
Fact
You always feel more intelligent when you talk in a British accent.
Fact
9 out of 10 people think of Abraham Lincoln during an awkward silence.
Fact
There is no difference between boredom and hunger.
Fact
When chemists die, their families barium.
Fact
Every time you see an overweight person in a wheelchair, you will now wonder if that person is overweight because they're in a wheelchair, or are in a wheelchair because they're overweight.
Fact
The best part about cleaning your room is finding money you didn't remember you had.
Fact
You can never breathe normally whenever you think about breathing normally.
Fact
Being overweight is all gravity's fault.
Fact
If you want someone to touch you, tell them you're not ticklish.
Fact
Your favorite song will always come on the radio when you arrive at your destination.
Fact
Guns don't kill people, people with mustaches kill people.
Fact
If people didn't exist, unicorns would.
Fact
The day which you choose to wear the most unattractive piece of clothing you own will be the day you meet the most attractive person you know.
Fact
Spiders are scarier when they disappear.
Fact
Possums are born dead on the road.
Fact
A hamster will explode if left in a hot car.
Fact
I could be naked right now and you would never know.
Fact
A secret admirer is always cute and romantic until you find out who it is.
Fact
You will only have to, "show all work" on the math problem where you completely guessed.