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If you stare at the sun for 5 minutes, it'll go away.
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The more important the phone call, the louder the background noise.
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Cursive was invented for the sole purpose of writing your name in the snow with urine.
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The number of interesting things in a room increases whenever there is homework to be done.
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If your dog is fat, you probably aren't getting enough exercise.
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It will always stop hurting as soon as you get to the doctor's.
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You are what you eat. For example, if you eat a cannibal, then you are a cannibal.
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5 out of 4 people struggle with fractions.
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Warning labels are just suggestions.
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There is a fine line between numerator and denominator.
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Drunk drivers will blow past a stop sign. Stoned drivers will stop and wait for it to turn green.
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You can't say "happiness" without saying "penis."
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For blind people it's always a blind date.
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The number one cause of losing your social life is a social networking site.
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Rhinos are just fat unicorns. Maybe if we appreciated them more, they would reveal their mystical powers.
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Jumping off a cliff doesn't kill you, it's actually the sudden stop at the bottom.
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If you stand by the sea, it sounds like putting a shell to your ear.
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The one day you miss school is the day the class watches a movie.
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If you'd like to see what your handwriting was like in first grade, try writing your name on Windows Paint.