Fact
The french fries belonging to the person next to you always taste better.
Fact
If someone builds an idiot-proof system, nature builds a better idiot.
Fact
You will always have at least one bruise on your body that you don't know where it came from.
Fact
If women ruled the world there would be no wars. Just a bunch of angry countries not talking to each other.
Fact
Without stupid people, no one would be smart.
Fact
If a college student uses a computer during a class lecture, the chances of them actually paying attention to the professor automatically drops by 99%.
Fact
Blueberries are just peas holding their breath.
Fact
You can tell a lot about a person just by looking at their car. For example, if it's in a ditch, it's a woman.
Fact
The #1 cause of death in a Disney movie is being a mother.
Fact
You should be doing your homework right now.
Fact
90% of girls who wear yoga pants don't actually do yoga.
Fact
Deer strategically plan to cross the road only at those yellow signs.
Fact
If nobody sees you eat it, the calories don't count.
Fact
What you don't know won't kill you, unless it's your allergen information.
Fact
Being an ugly woman is like being a man. You're going to have to work.
Fact
You can make up a random holiday and people will believe you. Happy Leaf Ericson day.
Fact
Chemistry jokes are sodium funny.
Fact
On March 7th 1945 the Nazi's surrendered, On March 6th 1945 Chuck Norris was born.
Fact
Speed doesn't kill, suddenly becoming stationary kills.
Fact
Working in retail will make you despise humanity.
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