Fact
Snakes are more afraid of you than you are of them. But when snakes get scared, they start biting people...
Fact
If nobody sees you eat it, the calories don't count.
Fact
You will always embarrass yourself in front of someone you're trying to impress.
Fact
There are no weather conditions where simultaneously wearing shorts and uggs is acceptable or appropriate.
Fact
When men don't shave for a while it's rugged and masculine. When women don't shave for a while it's rugged and masculine.
Fact
If you'd like to see what your handwriting was like in first grade, try writing your name on Windows Paint.
Fact
The more work you have to get done, the more inviting Facebook is.
Fact
Your popularity is decided by how many people wish you a happy birthday on Facebook.
Fact
Cigarettes can cause health problems, especially true if extinguished in one's eye.
Fact
Your complexion is perfect until you have somewhere important to go.
Fact
Orangutans are the gingers of the monkey world.
Fact
The amount you want someone to text you back is directly proportional to how long they will take to respond.
Fact
That hilarious joke you just read will be the most boring thing in the world once you tell it to your friends.
Fact
Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
Fact
Microwave minutes are longer than actual minutes.
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Everyone at one point was the youngest person alive.
Fact
If someone builds an idiot-proof system, nature builds a better idiot.
Fact
Women will use their bras as a pocket more then they will use a pocket as a pocket.
Fact
The amount of food you have in your mouth will always be proportionate to the level of hotness of the girl or guy that is walking by.
Fact
In the time it takes you to read this sentence, Bill Gates will have saved enough money to buy a new sports car.
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