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Fact
When you have a cold it's really hard to taste anything - except revolting medicine. The flavor of that will come through clear as ever.
Fact
You will always lose your phone when it's on silent.
Fact
Bad people are punished by the police, good people are punished by Murphy's Law.
Fact
How uncomfortable your bed is at night is directly proportional to how comfortable it is when you have to get up in the morning.
Fact
The more important it is to succeed, the more likely it is to fail.
Fact
What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, unless you happen to have one of those friends that must Facebook everything.
Fact
A clear conscience is a sign of bad memory.
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You will never need to go to the bathroom as badly as when you're fumbling with your belt buckle.
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The importance of the call directly relates to how hard it is to get your phone out of your pocket.
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You can't say "happiness" without saying "penis."
Fact
There is no difference between boredom and hunger.
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Living increases your risk of dying.
Fact
The hipster fox hibernates in the summer. He is underground before it becomes cool.
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When a girl asks you how your day went, he doesn't want the whole story, "Good!" will do just fined.
Fact
Girls are like trees, they hate axe.
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Nobody ever reads the rules for Monopoly except when an argument breaks out.
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Wisdom comes with age, but so does memory loss.
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If you give a mouse a cookie, he will want a glass of milk. If you give a teenage boy a marker, he will draw a penis.
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It's still rape, even if you yell "surprise."
Fact
In the time it takes you to read this sentence, Bill Gates will have saved enough money to buy a new sports car.