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Fact
The rings of Saturn are made entirely of lost luggage.
Fact
The day that you don't have something is always the day that you need it most.
Fact
All toasters have a setting that will reduce the toast to ashes.
Fact
5/4 of people have trouble with fractions.
Fact
When men don't shave for a while it's rugged and masculine. When women don't shave for a while it's rugged and masculine.
Fact
No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping paper tube is still a light saber...
Fact
Abortion doesn't make you not a mother, it makes you the mother of a dead baby.
Fact
Highly condensed, and crystalized carbon is a girls best friend.
Fact
You will always feel awkward when your dog sees you naked.
Fact
There is a fine line between numerator and denominator.
Fact
You never brush your teeth as good as when you have a dentist appointment.
Fact
Bad people are punished by the police, good people are punished by Murphy's Law.
Fact
Alcohol (noun) - The cause and solution to all of the world's problems.
Fact
Each breath you take is just someone else's diluted fart.
Fact
Everybody sings better in the shower.
Fact
There is nothing funny about Comic Sans.
Fact
The only joy greater than seeing blue toilet water, is peeing in it to make it green.
Fact
The difference between a Twihard and a Potterhead is the number of brain cells.
Fact
It is impossible to look attractive while blowing your nose.
Fact
Hair gel was invented in order to make douche bags more identifiable from a distance.