Fact
Sandwiches always taste better when cut into triangles.
Fact
The number of pimples on my face is precisely equal to the number of hot people I will be in direct contact with today.
Fact
Abercrombie sells clothes by showing pictures of people with no clothes on.
Fact
Nudists are never attractive.
Fact
Living increases your risk of dying.
Fact
No matter how good your grades are, you will still make less money than the drug dealer in your Physics class.
Fact
You can eat perfectly fine, until you put on a white shirt.
Fact
80% of the final exam will be based on the one lecture you missed and the one book you didn't read.
Fact
A comeback will never sound as good out loud as it does in your head.
Fact
Whoever said money can't buy happiness didn't know where to go shopping.
Fact
Chemistry jokes are sodium funny.
Fact
When life gives you lemons, chop the crap out of them. They're worth a lot of points in Fruit Ninja.
Fact
If a girl turns you down, you didn't use enough chloroform.
Fact
Nobody knows how or when they actually fall asleep.
Fact
There's always that one weird kid in your class and if you can't tell who it is, I have some bad news for you.
Fact
You always breath louder when hiding.
Fact
Draco Malfoy's best comeback will always involve ensuring his father hears about whatever you just did.
Fact
No matter what time you said you preferred, the only math class available in college will always be at 8 AM.
Fact
A waitress will only ask you how your meal is when your mouth is completely full.
Fact
You have never used an entire stick of chapstick.
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