Fact
The one day you miss school is the day the class watches a movie.
Fact
If a girl turns you down, you didn't use enough chloroform.
Fact
There will always be a closer parking spot than the one you picked.
Fact
No matter what you order at a restaurant, someone elses food will look better.
Fact
Birthdays are good for your health. Studies have shown that people who have more birthdays live the longest.
Fact
All credibility is lost when you make a typo in an angry text message.
Fact
He who laughs last probably wasn't listening, and is only laughing because everyone else is.
Fact
67% of statistics are made up on the spot.
Fact
Once you hate someone, everything they do is offensive.
Fact
"One man's trash is another man's treasure" is a terrible way to tell your child that they're adopted.
Fact
There will never be enough hours in the Sunday before midterms.
Fact
Your brain intentionally plans for your dream to end at the best part.
Fact
It's impossible to say "good eye might" without sounding Australian.
Fact
Everything in life is less enjoyable if you have to pee.
Fact
A woman can say another woman is sexy, but the moment a man says another man is sexy, you begin to question their sexuality.
Fact
Whenever you do something right no one remembers. Whenever you do something wrong no one forgets.
Fact
No matter what time you said you preferred, the only math class available in college will always be at 8 AM.
Fact
Things are a lot funnier when you are trying not to laugh.
Fact
No matter how much you practice, when it counts, you'll blow it.
Fact
When you write the word "women" backwards you get "nemow" which means "kitchen" in Icelandic.
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