Fact
Residents always drive 10 miles over the speed limit, tourists always drive 10 under.
Fact
100% of human beings have tried to fly on a broomstick.
Fact
A watched status never gets liked.
Fact
The wizarding world was never proven to not exist.
Fact
When you are being lectured, your feet are the most interesting things in the world.
Fact
If the Sahara Desert had a motto it would be "Long time, no sea."
Fact
The only math anyone actually uses outside of school was learned by the fifth grade.
Fact
Bad decisions make good stories.
Fact
If snakes hiss at you, they want you to pet them.
Fact
The doorbell or phone will always ring when you are in the bathroom.
Fact
You think you're so smart, until the time comes when you have to turn on a friend's shower.
Fact
Putting a pretty shirt over your muffin top does not make you a cupcake.
Fact
Big, scary, ancient monsters always seem to be asleep before being discovered.
Fact
Sandwiches always taste better when cut into triangles.
Fact
I could be naked right now and you would never know.
Fact
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but Chris Brown's fists excite me.
Fact
Smoking is the leading cause of statistics.
Fact
Your alarm clock will always go off when your dream is about to get really good.
Fact
The difference between employment and unemployment is pants with elastic waistbands.
Fact
When leprechauns die, they turn into Lucky Charms.