Fact
Your alarm clock will always go off when your dream is about to get really good.
Fact
Bungee jumping is suicide for indecisive people.
Fact
There is nothing more annoying than your roommates alarm clock on the day you choose to sleep in.
Fact
9 in 10 doctors believe that 1 in 10 doctors are idiots.
Fact
Wearing socks with sandals is only acceptable when wearing a fanny pack.
Fact
Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk.
Fact
When life gives you lemons, chop the crap out of them. They're worth a lot of points in Fruit Ninja.
Fact
When you know the remote battery is dead, you press the buttons harder.
Fact
You will spend more time looking for your remote than the time it would take to manually change the channel.
Fact
The only question your teacher will ever ask you is the one you don't know the answer to.
Fact
No matter how fast you run, the serial killer will always walk faster than you.
Fact
Teen pregnancies rapidly decrease after the age of 20.
Fact
You will know song lyrics after one time hearing them. You won't know the answers on a test you studied hours for.
Fact
There are three types of people in the word, people who can count and people who can't.
Fact
Not all women are annoying, some are mute.
Fact
You will only be good at using a pogo stick when no one else is around.
Fact
People are 75% more likely to believe what you have to say when there is a statistic involved.
Fact
100% of human beings have tried to fly on a broomstick.
Fact
If you yell "GO! GO GO!" loudly enough at the people playing sports on the TV screen, they can hear you.
Fact
Killing an unborn human is called an abortion. Killing an unborn chicken is called an omelet.
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