Also By UsSlow RobotI Waste So Much TimeI Waste So Much MoneyDear Blank Please BlankAttack of the Cute
Fact
Marriage is the number one cause for divorce.
Fact
Children in the dark make accidents, accidents in the dark make children.
Fact
When someone starts a sentence with "With all due respect," one must automatically know there is no respect, at all.
Fact
You never brush your teeth as good as when you have a dentist appointment.
Fact
You don't look as awesome as you feel when you walk down the street listening to awesome music.
Fact
Yellow snow is lemonade flavored and high in vitamin P.
Fact
You can lead an idiot to water but you need rocks to make him sink.
Fact
When you're a kid, all you want is to grow up. When you grow up, all you want is to act like a kid.
Fact
Hogwarts is the only school where students actually want to do their homework.
Fact
You will remember everything from your classes, right up until you take the final.
Fact
You will never make as much money as Snookie.
Fact
The best part about cleaning your room is finding money you didn't remember you had.
Fact
With braces, a meal is never just a meal. It's also a snack three hours later!
Fact
The best place to hide a body is page 2 of Google search results.
Fact
You are definitive proof that your parents had sex.
Fact
If you make an impressive shot while playing basketball, no one will be watching.
Fact
Adding "and then we made out" will make every story sound ten times better.
Fact
When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
Fact
There is a fine line between numerator and denominator.