Fact
In the time it takes you to read this sentence, Bill Gates will have saved enough money to buy a new sports car.
Fact
Friends are like snowflakes. When you pee on them, they disappear.
Fact
The day which you choose to wear the most unattractive piece of clothing you own will be the day you meet the most attractive person you know.
Fact
You always have to sing the alphabet song to see which letter comes next.
Fact
Waldo wears stripes, because he doesn't want to be spotted.
Fact
Your teacher will always ask you to answer the one problem you didn't do.
Fact
42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
Fact
Pandas are Black, White AND Asian.
Fact
Only 23% of people who watch exercise videos do so for their intended purpose.
Fact
The hotter you are the longer guys will listen to stories about your cat.
Fact
You can never fall asleep when you need to, and never stay awake when you want to.
Fact
Whenever you cut your nails, you will need to do something that requires long nails right after.
Fact
Your brain intentionally plans for your dream to end at the best part.
Fact
Twilight is a story of a girl falling in love with her stalker. There's still hope for you.
Fact
When you drop an item on the floor while at a laundromat it will always be your most embarrassing pair of granny panties.
Fact
You will always wear a sweater on the only warm day of the season, and you will always forget your sweater on the day that you actually need it.
Fact
Give a man a gun, he can rob a bank. Give a man a bank, he can rob the world.
Fact
If you type 'Ninjas' into Dictionary.com it comes up with 'Ninjas cannot be found'. Man they're good.
Fact
When chemists die, their families barium.
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