Fact
If facebook ever shut down you would see people roaming the streets shoving pictures in peoples faces screaming "Do you like this?! DO YOU?!"
Fact
A computer without internet is like a person without a soul.
Fact
The only joy greater than seeing blue toilet water, is peeing in it to make it green.
Fact
You are living proof that your parents had sex.
Fact
Men go through 3 stages: Drinking from boobs, staring at boobs, and growing boobs.
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Relationships aren't real unless they're announced on Facebook.
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If a Ke$ha song is playing in the middle of the forest, and no one is around to hear it, it still sucks.
Fact
How uncomfortable your bed is at night is directly proportional to how comfortable it is when you have to get up in the morning.
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Chemistry jokes are sodium funny.
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You are supposed to be doing something way more productive right now.
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String cheese always tastes better when torn into tiny strips.
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Abortion doesn't make you not a mother, it makes you the mother of a dead baby.
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There will never be enough hours in the Sunday before midterms.
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Alligators are more afraid of you than you are of them.
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If you took every Twilight fan and laid them end to end around the equator, a lot of them would drown or get run over or eaten by lions.
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An accent makes you ten times more attractive.
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No one is as disturbed as they should be by the fact that the prince in Snow White had to kiss a corpse in the middle of the woods surrounded by seven midgets.
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Everything your friend has is fun until you get it.
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If you have to tell people you're famous, you're not.
Fact
Doing drugs is like a doing a harmonica solo. You feel really cool, but you really just look like an idiot.