Fact
The more you want to talk to someone the longer it takes them to text you back.
Fact
No matter how much you practice, when it counts, you'll blow it.
Fact
You will only be good at using a pogo stick when no one else is around.
Fact
You will never need to go to the bathroom as badly as when you're fumbling with your belt buckle.
Fact
Stephenie Meyer is more successful than you will ever be.
Fact
It has been scientifically proven that too many birthdays can kill you...
Fact
The second bowl of cereal with the same milk is never as good as the first.
Fact
Every movie is the #1 movie in America.
Fact
You will inevitably make a grammar mistake while pointing out someone else's grammar mistake.
Fact
You think you're so smart, until the time comes when you have to turn on a friend's shower.
Fact
Life is like a game of Mario Bros. Except you only get one life, and the psychedelic mushrooms are illegal.
Fact
The more work you have to get done, the more inviting Facebook is.
Fact
Studies have shown that people will believe anything you say if you preface it with "Studies have shown..."
Fact
You will sleep well tonight, unless you have something important to do tomorrow.
Fact
"False information" spelled backwards is "false information."
Fact
10 out of 10 people die.
Fact
Your bed will never be as comfortable as it is on Monday morning when your alarm clock goes off.
Fact
If you can't find it on Google, it doesn't exist.
Fact
China is the world's largest producer of American flags.
Fact
The number one cause of losing your social life is a social networking site.
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