Also By UsSlow RobotI Waste So Much TimeI Waste So Much MoneyDear Blank Please BlankAttack of the Cute
Fact
If it's a good movie, it's not on Netflix.
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Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
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A clear conscience is a sign of bad memory.
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No matter what book you're reading, it will always be #1 on the Best Seller's List.
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No matter how humorous something was, when it's retold, nobody thinks it's as funny.
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Every walk is the walk of shame when you're wearing Crocs.
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There is no appropriate response when someone tells you that you say "Sorry" too much.
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Boys will be boys... unless they get a sex change.
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No matter how many times an english teacher asks for YOUR interpretation, they will only mark it as correct if it matches THEIR interpretation.
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We are all time traveling into the future at normal speed.
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A woman can say another woman is sexy, but the moment a man says another man is sexy, you begin to question their sexuality.
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The guy sitting in front of you at performances will always have a large head.
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If I had an ice cream truck, it would turn into a regular truck in about a half hour.
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90% of the trash in the ocean is from Bikini Bottom.
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If you’re one in a million, there are six thousand people exactly like you.
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Cursive was invented for the sole purpose of writing your name in the snow with urine.
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Nothing you show your friend is ever as funny as when you watch it by yourself. However, when they show you something, it's the funniest thing in the world.
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For blind people it's always a blind date.
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Everyone loves tickling others, but no one likes to be tickled.