Also By UsSlow RobotI Waste So Much TimeI Waste So Much MoneyDear Blank Please BlankAttack of the Cute
Fact
There is a fine line between numerator and denominator.
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If you can't fix it with duct tape, you haven't used enough.
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Bad decisions make for good stories.
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The more you try to hide your laughter, the harder you want to laugh.
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Bad people are punished by the police, good people are punished by Murphy's Law.
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Forgiveness sounds like screaming, and then silence.
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No matter what brand of car insurance you have now, you will save hundreds if you switch to a new one.
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Living increases your risk of dying.
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Whenever you drop your bag everything that you didn't want the cute guy sitting next to you to see falls out.
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You'll always think of something better to say after you've finished having the argument.
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Normal people only floss the day before a dental appointment.
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The number of interesting things in a room increases whenever there is homework to be done.
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When a raccoon is foaming at the mouth it wants a hug.
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Your brain intentionally plans for your dream to end at the best part.
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You are tired until the moment you get into bed.
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Your alarm clock will always go off when your dream is about to get really good.
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If you type 'Ninjas' into Dictionary.com it comes up with 'Ninjas cannot be found'. Man they're good.
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There will never be enough hours in the Sunday before midterms.
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You cannot walk aggressively in wet flip flops.
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The number one cause of losing your social life is a social networking site.