Also By UsSlow RobotI Waste So Much TimeI Waste So Much MoneyDear Blank Please BlankAttack of the Cute
Fact
Birthdays are good for your health. Studies have shown that people who have more birthdays live the longest.
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Your complexion is perfect until you have somewhere important to go.
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You will never have to go to the bathroom more than when your roommate just got in the shower.
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Every sound you hear at night is a serial killer.
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The last 2% always takes the longest to download.
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When we tell our grandchildren just how great imagination is, they will ask how much it costs to download.
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You will spend more time looking for your remote than the time it would take to manually change the channel.
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Women will use their bras as a pocket more then they will use a pocket as a pocket.
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Most people love their family members until they are all in the same room.
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No matter how loud you blast your music, you will never look cool in a minivan.
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You always breath louder when hiding.
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If people didn't exist, unicorns would.
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You can lead an idiot to water but you need rocks to make him sink.
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Studies show that childlessness is hereditary.
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Alligators are more afraid of you than you are of them.
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A bus is a vehicle that travels twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.
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Your mother won't permit you to have cake for breakfast. However, she will allow you to eat fried cake covered in brown liquid sugar also known as pancakes.
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Killing an unborn human is called an abortion. Killing an unborn chicken is called an omelet.
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The more homework you have to do, the more ways you will find to distract yourself on the internet.
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If at first you don't succeed, at least you can get off with attempted murder.