Also By UsSlow RobotI Waste So Much TimeI Waste So Much MoneyDear Blank Please BlankAttack of the Cute
Fact
The mosquito in your bedroom is never visible and only audible when you are almost asleep.
Fact
Alcohol gives you the ambition to do anything, while simultaneously taking away your ability to do so.
Fact
Sharks are underwater vampires.
Fact
Life has never given anyone lemons.
Fact
A world without bears would be unbearable.
Fact
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
Fact
The microwave meal will never look as good as the picture on the box.
Fact
You will never make as much money as Snookie.
Fact
Chemists do it on the table, periodically.
Fact
Hamburgers contain no ham.
Fact
Every walk is the walk of shame when you're wearing Crocs.
Fact
You know you are sick, when your clothes become tissues.
Fact
It is impossible to look attractive while blowing your nose.
Fact
When you take a long time in the bathroom at school, everybody knows you pooped.
Fact
It is impossible to go to the movie theaters, buy a box of popcorn, keep it in your lap during the trailers, and not eat any of it.
Fact
If snakes hiss at you, they want you to pet them.
Fact
Everyone loves tickling others, but no one likes to be tickled.
Fact
If you take time to smell the roses, sooner or later you'll inhale a bee and die.
Fact
There will always be a closer parking spot than the one you picked.
Fact
The final 10% of any progress bar will take 90% of the total time to complete.