Also By UsSlow RobotI Waste So Much TimeI Waste So Much MoneyDear Blank Please BlankAttack of the Cute
Fact
When waiting for your luggage at an airport, yours will be one of the last to come out.
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Girls are like trees, they hate axe.
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Every American TV show is America's No. 1 TV show.
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You can never fall asleep when you need to, and never stay awake when you want to.
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A secret admirer is always cute and romantic until you find out who it is.
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You can make up a random holiday and people will believe you. Happy Leaf Ericson day.
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If I had an ice cream truck, it would turn into a regular truck in about a half hour.
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The days you don't have time to shower are the days you will run into everyone you know.
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100% of human beings have tried to fly on a broomstick.
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When the pilot says it's going to take a bit longer to take off, they actually left their plane keys at home on the counter.
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Cursive isn't as useful as elementary teachers said it would be.
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If you can read this, you can read.
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More people would rather go to Hogwarts than Harvard.
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The morning you need to be at work early is the morning your alarm clock will not go off.
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If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
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If you want someone to touch you, tell them you're not ticklish.
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Productivity is inversely proportional to how much time is left before your project is due.
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Volkswagen invented the Beetle so people could have an excuse to punch strangers.
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To steal ideas from one person is plagarism. To steal from many is research.