Tips for success
Always pilage BEFORE you burn.
To do list
Get on WebMD. Self-Diagnose. Become the first male with cervical cancer.
Tips for success
Always finish what you start, especially if this means eating the rest of the cake.
Tips for success
When you are choking, put your thumbs up. It lets everyone else know that you require immediate help.
Signs that things aren't going so well
You finished watching a TV series and you don't know what to do with yourself anymore.
Definition
Pharmacist (noun) - A drug dealer with a white coat.
Realized
Easy Bake Ovens are not the same thing as microwaves.
Realized
A bad idea with a lot of confidence appeals to people more than a good idea with skepticism.
Signs that things aren't going so well
Someone is telling you to "put the gun down."
Signs that things aren't going so well
When we live in a society where pizza is considered a vegetable.
Tips for success
When you receive an email with NSFW in the subject line, be sure to open it at work. NSFW means "Not Safe For Wife."
Tips for success
Wait untill your finished your shower then look for a towel.
Definition
Awkward (adjective) - Running by someone in a wheelchair.
Tips for success
When approaching a door, assume the way you think it opens is wrong.
Tips for success
When it comes to group work, do absolutely nothing. Not doing your part will show the others how great you think their work is in comparison to yours.
Fact
Women are like puzzles, neither could vote prior to 1920. Puzzles still can't.
Definition
Yummy (adjective) - Used to describe food that tastes like crap, because you don't want to insult the person who made it.
Realized
People say pigs can't fly, but swine flu?
Fact
Homework time is the only time when staring at a wall seems like a jolly good time.
Signs that things aren't going so well
You found voo-doo dolls of you in your mother's bedroom.
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