Also By UsSlow RobotI Waste So Much TimeI Waste So Much MoneyDear Blank Please BlankAttack of the Cute
Tips for success
Eat garbage. Ten trillion flies can't all be wrong.
Signs that things aren't going so well
The divot goes farther than your golf ball.
Definition
Panic (noun) - When the fire alarm goes off and you're in the bathroom pooping.
Signs that things aren't going so well
You know MIddle-earth geography better than you know actual earth geography.
Tips for success
Always log into StumbleUpon right before a deadline to get your creative juices flowing.
Realized
Once you meet a person, they're no longer a stranger, thus making it okay to take candy from them.
Fact
The importance of the call directly relates to how hard it is to get your phone out of your pocket.
To do list
Wear my sisters jeans, tell everyone I got in her pants.
Realized
The Wizard of Oz is the ultimate chick flick. It's about two women trying to kill each other over shoes.
Tips for success
Keep smiling, it makes everyone wonder what you're up to.
Signs that things aren't going so well
Somebody is launching birds at you with a slingshot.
Realized
The Amish will never read this.
Signs that things aren't going so well
You leave out the bottle of Aunt Jemima's just so you aren't alone at breakfast.
Fact
On March 7th 1945 the Nazi's surrendered, On March 6th 1945 Chuck Norris was born.
Realized
There's a difference between a butt-dial and a booty call.
Signs that things aren't going so well
You wish to grow up like someone who is younger than you.
Tips for success
To get to Hogwarts, run into the walls at train stations. If people give you funny looks, it's only because they're jealous muggles.
Definition
Horror (noun) - The feeling you get after dropping something in the toilet.
Realized
Chris Crocker is a man!
Tips for success
When a zombie tells you that they want brains, what they mean is they want an education. Don't be afraid to help them.