Signs that things aren't going so well
People get out a whistle when they see you.
Fact
You will never have to go to the bathroom more than when your roommate just got in the shower.
Tips for success
Keep screaming "Lumos!" until someone turns the light off for you.
Definition
Guitar (noun) - Object used to pick up girls.
Signs that things aren't going so well
You used to have a six pack... but you drank it all.
Fact
The loudness of your neighbor's power tool is directly proportionate to how desperate you are to get some sleep.
Realized
Violets aren't blue.
Fact
The highest amount of fear you will ever experience in your life is the moment you skip a step on the stairs and your heart momentarily stops beating.
Signs that things aren't going so well
Your doomsday prediction was a dud... again...
Definition
Tidy up (verb) - The act of arranging your junk in symmetrical patterns.
Tips for success
Create a "Where's Waldo?" book. Don't put Waldo in it.
Definition
College (noun) - The party before the hangover known as adulthood.
Definition
Growing up (verb) - That moment when you have to switch to a more serious e-mail address.
Definition
Childhood (noun) - When you could eat a popsicle without it looking dirty.
Tips for success
Eat everything with chopsticks. It will make you seem Asian and thus smarter.
To do list
Change your name in your Grandma's phone to "Death." Call her repeatedly.
Tips for success
If no one sees you eat it, the calories don't count...
Definition
Jeans (noun) - A substitute for napkins.
Signs that things aren't going so well
Your karma ran over your dogma.
Fact
People in Superman movies are very amazed about birds and planes.
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