Definition
Axe Body Spray (noun) - Girl repellant, when applied liberally.
Tips for success
Tell your boyfriend all about your period. Guys are very curious about it, but too afraid to ask.
Signs that things aren't going so well
5 year olds have iPhones.
Fact
The amount of food you have in your mouth will always be proportionate to the level of hotness of the girl or guy that is walking by.
Signs that things aren't going so well
Your most meaningful conversations happen online and one of you is a troll.
Signs that things aren't going so well
You have a Korean roommate. Your cat is missing.
Signs that things aren't going so well
You ask your 15 year old daughter what she wants to do for a living. She says that she'll just get pregnant and be on a reality tv show.
Realized
Moby Dick was a sperm whale.
Signs that things aren't going so well
You ask to sign your friend's yearbook, they hand you a pencil.
Tips for success
When a girl says "It's cold", she's telling you to keep your jacket on so you won't be cold, too.
Realized
What skip to the lou means...
Signs that things aren't going so well
You locked your keys in your convertible.
Tips for success
Shooting yourself in the mouth can be an excellent source of iron.
Realized
Alternative medicine that has been proven to work is called medicine.
Definition
Picture Day (noun) - The one day of the year where you're guaranteed to look your absolute worst.
Tips for success
The lower your pants hang off you, the cooler you will seem.
Signs that things aren't going so well
You are the reason why your parents stopped having kids...
Realized
If a ceiling fan could support my weight I would never be bored again.
Definition
Happiness (noun) - Waking up thinking you're late for class and then realizing it's Saturday.
Fact
Your report card will always come out as soon as you want to ask your parents for something.
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