Also By UsSlow RobotI Waste So Much TimeI Waste So Much MoneyDear Blank Please BlankAttack of the Cute
Realized
When a house burns up, it also burns down.
Definition
I don't wanna brag... (phrase) - What you say just before you brag shamelessly.
Definition
October 1st (noun) - The first day of Christmas, according to malls everywhere.
Signs that things aren't going so well
You have an uncle named Scar.
Fact
You can never fall asleep when you need to, and never stay awake when you want to.
Fact
You're not what you eat. A cannibal who eats a vegetarian, is not a vegetarian...
Signs that things aren't going so well
Your girlfriend's name ends with .jpg.
Tips for success
When doing homework, there's a fine line between quoting and plagiarizing. If you want a social life, cross it.
To do list
Go to Ikea. Hide in wardrobe. When someone opens wardrobe yell "FOR NARNIA!!!!!!!!"
Realized
Violence is never the answer. Unless the question is, "What is never the answer?"
Signs that things aren't going so well
Your girlfriend just introduced you as a friend.
Signs that things aren't going so well
Your BMI is higher than your IQ.
Fact
A newspaper is 10 times more interesting when someone across the table is reading it.
Tips for success
Tardiness on the first day of work is a good way to show your boss that you are a well rounded person who has higher priorities in life than work.
Tips for success
Cereal (noun) - Breakfast soup.
Tips for success
Texting while driving is dangerous. Be sure to practice constantly to improve your abilities.
Definition
Teacher (noun) - A person who helps you solve problems you'd never have without them.
Signs that things aren't going so well
For your birthday, your parents extend your curfew by an hour. You've never been out late enough to know you had a curfew.
Tips for success
When you notice a punctuation mistake, inform the writer of their "improper grammer."
To do list
Write "gullible" on the ceiling.