Also By UsSlow RobotI Waste So Much TimeI Waste So Much MoneyDear Blank Please BlankAttack of the Cute
Signs that things aren't going so well
You just made plans to be more spontaneous.
To do list
Break personal record for days without dying.
To do list
Live forever or die trying.
Realized
Cinderella is proof that a pair of shoes can change a girl's life.
Realized
No one's as ugly as their license picture, nor as good-looking as their Facebook profile picture.
Signs that things aren't going so well
The only reason your parents remembered your birthday is because Facebook reminded them.
Definition
Wedding rings (noun) - An expensive pair of tiny handcuffs.
Signs that things aren't going so well
You have a pyramid of all your empty Nutella containers.
Definition
Love (noun) - Natures way of tricking people into reproducing.
Signs that things aren't going so well
The name of your expensive, foreign, bottled water is "naive" spelled backwards.
Signs that things aren't going so well
You took an arrow to the knee.
Tips for success
While showering, don't close your eyes to rinse, you might get stabbed.
Fact
Your brain intentionally plans for your dream to end at the best part.
Definition
Karma (noun) - Throwing a banana the first lap in Mario Kart and hitting it the next.
Definition
I'm an adult (phrase) - What a grown person says when they're acting like a child.
Fact
The 5 second rule does not apply to dropping babies.
Signs that things aren't going so well
All of those nasty rumors about you turn out to be true.
Realized
Scotch tape doesn't taste anything like whisky.
Realized
When a cop tells you that you have the right to remain silent, you should probably stop talking.
Signs that things aren't going so well
It's taken 6 seasons to tell your kids how you met their mother. You still haven't finished the story.