Also By UsSlow RobotI Waste So Much TimeI Waste So Much MoneyDear Blank Please BlankAttack of the Cute
Signs that things aren't going so well
Your teacher stapled a McDonald's application to your report card.
Fact
The amount you want someone to text you back is directly proportional to how long they will take to respond.
Definition
Woman (noun) - Someone to make you sandwiches.
Signs that things aren't going so well
The tag to your mattress is missing.
Tips for success
When riding in an elevator, be sure to push all the buttons. Your fellow riders will appreciate the fact that you thought of everyone.
Tips for success
Keep your friends close, and your attractive friends even closer.
Realized
High School is nothing like Glee.
Realized
Professor X can move anything with his mind... except his legs.
Realized
The orange and green Fruit Loops are secretly Apple Jacks.
Realized
The "&" symbol looks like a man dragging his butt across the floor.
Realized
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles wear masks. It's not like no one's going to realize that they're a giant turtle...
Signs that things aren't going so well
Two unicorns start nagging you to go to Candy Mountain.
Tips for success
When a woman is upset with you it is often therapeutic for them to make sandwiches. Try suggesting she make you one.
Realized
Sneezing is only cute when animals do it.
Tips for success
When talking to a foreign person, try to talk with their accent. It will increase the probability of them understanding you.
Signs that things aren't going so well
Your wife tells you she's giving up sex for lent.
Realized
Women wear white on their wedding day because it's the happiest day of their lives. Grooms wear black.
Definition
Due tomorrow (phrase) - Do tomorrow.
Fact
You know you're getting old when speed limits start to seem reasonable to you.
Tips for success
When drowning be sure to take in water, it contains vital oxygen.