Tips for success
Use long pieces of bread in the grocery store as swords or lights sabers. Your choice.
Realized
Many people misunderstand Mexicans. We think they're favorite sport is soccer, but that's only when they're not competing in cross country.
Tips for success
Eating toilet paper will eliminate the need to wipe after you use the restroom.
Definition
Gummy bears (noun) - Edible voodoo dolls.
Signs that things aren't going so well
Your retirement plans involve getting into the prison system.
Definition
Never mind (phrase) - You were too stupid to understand the first time, so I give up trying to explain it.
To do list
Go trick-or-treating as a Jehovah's Witness.
Definition
I'll have my people contact your people (phrase) - Neither of us have people. My mom is gonna call yours.
Definition
Awkward (adjective) - Asking an amputee to give you a hand.
Definition
Diploma (noun) - A piece of paper that shows you knew how to use Wikipedia and cheat for four years.
Signs that things aren't going so well
Your psych student friends keep asking if they can use you as a case study.
To do list
Keep a straight face through an entire roller coaster ride.
Tips for success
Whenever someone says "it's really hot in here" apologize.
To do list
Find all the ways to skin a cat.
Signs that things aren't going so well
12 year olds are pregnant, and you still can't get a date.
Realized
A spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down, unless that medicine is insulin.
Definition
College (noun) - An intermission between High School and the rest of your life where you make a bunch of bad decisions that make awesome stories for later on.
Definition
Hollister shorts (noun) - Denim underwear.
Realized
Imagining people in their underwear only works until you realize that your parents are in the audience.
Definition
Awkward (adjective) - When you say goodbye to someone, but they keep walking the same way as you.
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