Signs that things aren't going so well
The therapist that you've been seeing for the past year finally said his first words to you... "no hablo ingles."
Realized
Simba and Nala have the same dad.
Signs that things aren't going so well
You hear a mysterious ticking noise.
Definition
Microwave (noun) - A hand gesture used by a midget to say "hello."
Tips for success
English is easier to understand the louder you speak it. Yell at foreigners to be sure they understand you.
Realized
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband.
Signs that things aren't going so well
You have to cut the red wire to disable the bomb. You're colorblind.
Tips for success
If your girlfriend wants you to be more spontaneous, break up with her at a random time and say "Surprise!"
Tips for success
Never shower. Your natural pheremones will build up, and the ladies will be more attracted to you than ever.
Definition
Irony (noun) - Drawing trees on paper.
Signs that things aren't going so well
All of your current friends are wearing orange jumpsuits.
Fact
The one day you miss school is the day the class watches a movie.
Tips for success
Solar power is the future. Cut down all trees to eliminate unnecessary shade.
Realized
When you walk into a spider web you automatically learn karate.
To do list
Walk into a competely empty room. Say out loud "I know you're listening." Freak the heck out of a government agent.
Signs that things aren't going so well
Your best friend is a volleyball.
Definition
Shut up (phrase) - A phrase used by people who can't think of a valid argument.
Tips for success
Whenever a friend shares bad news, start laughing hysterically. Laughter is contagious and will make your friend happier in their time of need.
Realized
If Hershey bars printed "You're pretty" on the inside of its wrappers, they would fully replace boyfriends.
Signs that things aren't going so well
The top won't stop spinning.
EVERYTHING WITHIN A MILLION PIXEL RADIUS OF HERE, COPYRIGHT © GROUCHYRABBIT.COM - CONTACT US - FEEDBACK - TERMS AND PRIVACY