Also By UsSlow RobotI Waste So Much TimeI Waste So Much MoneyDear Blank Please BlankAttack of the Cute
Realized
Friendly + Attractive = Outgoing. Friendly + Ugly = Creepy.
Tips for success
Knee socks can be used to hide unshaven legs.
Tips for success
Spend as much time as you could have spent studying for an exam trying to come up with a way to cheat on it instead.
Definition
Skill (noun) - Being able to drain ramen noodles with only a fork, and not losing a single noodle.
Tips for success
When life gives you lemons, eat them. Everything else will taste sweeter in comparison.
Realized
Strawberries have nothing to do with straw.
Tips for success
Make your date pay for her own meal to let her know you support her independence.
Fact
You will never be able to use tin foil and plastic wrap as well as your mom.
Realized
Moses would be the best lifeguard ever.
Signs that things aren't going so well
Your love handles have double chins.
Fact
Hamsters are a lot like cotton. They're both comfy, and they both taste bad.
Signs that things aren't going so well
Your girlfriend is a chubby chaser.
Fact
Whenever you cut your nails, you will need to do something that requires long nails right after.
Fact
The french fries belonging to the person next to you always taste better.
Tips for success
When someone tells you to, "expect the unexpected," slap them in the face and ask them if they expected it.
Tips for success
CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL.
Tips for success
Keep your blinkers on at all times just in case you should decide to turn at some point. You can never be too prepared.
Signs that things aren't going so well
A terrorist just told you, "You da bomb!"
Signs that things aren't going so well
You're saving up to buy ramen.
Fact
If I had an ice cream truck, it would turn into a regular truck in about a half hour.