Also By UsSlow RobotI Waste So Much TimeI Waste So Much MoneyDear Blank Please BlankAttack of the Cute
Tips for success
Don't bite the hand that feeds you. You will get blood in your food.
Definition
Chicken (noun) - A bird known for its questionable road crossing habits and tasting like other foods.
Definition
Joy (noun) - When you open the freezer and find ice cream you didn't know was there.
Definition
Despair (noun) - When you double-space your essay and it's still not long enough.
Signs that things aren't going so well
Your identical twin is a criminal.
Realized
I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
Fact
The final 10% of any progress bar will take 90% of the total time to complete.
Signs that things aren't going so well
You lead a very successful, fulfilling life... on The Sims.
Signs that things aren't going so well
You have to ask the police officer to hold your beer so you can take out your license.
Definition
Headphones (noun) - Awkward situation avoiders.
To do list
Find out what that mysterious ticking noise is.
Tips for success
Unplug your roommate's alarm clock. They will appreciate the extra sleep.
Tips for success
When a girl tells you that she can smell your Axe from a mile away, put more on. She wants to smell it from her house.
To do list
Invent a windshield wiper that won't leave that anonoying triangle.
Definition
Calculus (noun) - When letters have a midlife crisis and decide to be numbers.
Signs that things aren't going so well
You answer the question "What did you do last night?" with "I don't remember their name"
Fact
Speed doesn't kill, suddenly becoming stationary kills.
Definition
Cleavage (noun) - A channel for crumbs to pass from your mouth to your belly button.
Signs that things aren't going so well
Your alibi for not committing a murder is that you were raping a girl in your fake taxi.
Signs that things aren't going so well
A couple of guys who are up to no good have started making trouble in your neighbourhood...