Also By UsSlow RobotI Waste So Much TimeI Waste So Much MoneyDear Blank Please BlankAttack of the Cute
Fact
Any convenience store that requires the customer to wear pants isn’t convenient at all.
Signs that things aren't going so well
Your boyfriend doesn't let you wear his jacket anymore because you stretched it out.
Definition
Originality (noun) - The art of concealing your sources.
Signs that things aren't going so well
Your girlfriend just introduced you as a friend.
Fact
The person you like will always like someone else, and the person that creeps the heck out of you will always like you.
Signs that things aren't going so well
You are 4 hours into a Minesweeper game.
Realized
Peninsulas are just islands that aren’t trying hard enough.
Realized
Adding the phrase "if you know what I mean" to the end of a sentence makes it sounds a whole lot creepier... if you know what I mean...
Fact
Forgiveness sounds like screaming, and then silence.
Tips for success
If you're addicted to drugs, have as many kids as possible. That way it will increase the probability of one of them becoming rich and being able to support your addiction.
Definition
Jeans (noun) - A substitute for napkins.
Realized
It isn't a holiday unless it has a Google doodle.
Definition
Shirt sleeve (noun) - Place to wipe your snot when you're sick.
Signs that things aren't going so well
Your mom thinks that your school pictures suck.
Definition
Christmas present (noun) - An annual supply of socks that you will never wear.
Tips for success
When choosing your next kidnapping victim, be sure to stay away from gingers. Nobody wants them back.
To do list
Simply walk into Mordor.
Signs that things aren't going so well
You took an arrow to the knee.
Signs that things aren't going so well
You left your phone in your pocket. The wash machine just started the rinse cycle.
To do list
Start an animal rights foundation that protests Angry Birds.