Also By UsSlow RobotI Waste So Much TimeI Waste So Much MoneyDear Blank Please BlankAttack of the Cute
Definition
Disapppointment (noun) - Dropping an Oreo in your milk and it falling apart before being able to pick it back up to eat it.
Definition
Christmas (noun) - A day of presents as a reward for putting up with the people in your life all year.
Signs that things aren't going so well
Your wife tells you she's giving up sex for lent.
Signs that things aren't going so well
You have two legs... You're a dog.
Signs that things aren't going so well
Your idea of a girls' night out is taking your female cats for a walk.
Definition
Anger (noun) - When you get all cozy in your bed and then realize there is something you forgot to do.
Signs that things aren't going so well
Your fiancee weighs 115 lbs, her mother weighs 325 lbs.
To do list
Boycott shampoo. Demand real poo.
Realized
John Lennon was killed by a fan... where are Justin Bieber's true fans?
Tips for success
Never assume the glass door is open.
Tips for success
Never make eye contact with a clown.
To do list
Find a burger that actually looks like the one in the commercial.
To do list
Go trick-or-treating on April fools day.
To do list
Write "gullible" on the ceiling.
Tips for success
Stay away from muggers by hiding in dark alleyways.
Tips for success
To wake up twice as fast in the morning, rather than drinking your coffee, try dumping it in your lap.
Definition
What could go wrong? (phrase) - A phrase in a book or movie that indicates something is about to go terribly wrong.
Definition
A hot shower (noun) - Any regular shower, with me in it.
Fact
Spiders are scarier when they disappear.
Realized
Guys workout to impress other guys. Tell a girl you bench 275lbs, she will have no idea what you are talking about.