To do list
Stand in the middle of a large crowd of people. Point somewhere and yell, "Holy crap! Is that little girl naked?" Shun the ones who turn to look.
Tips for success
If it ain't due today, it ain't worth doing.
Definition
Facebook hacking (verb) - Leaving your Facebook open at a friend's house.
Signs that things aren't going so well
You convince yourself that watching Grey's anatomy is pretty much the same as studying for your anatomy finals.
Fact
At the end of the day, life goes on. Unless you die...
To do list
Dress up as Santa Claus for Halloween.
Signs that things aren't going so well
Your fat friend starts borrowing your clothes.
Realized
People who fire you for being on Facebook at work, are on Facebook at work.
To do list
Drown one synchronized swimmer. See what happens to the rest.
Signs that things aren't going so well
McDonald's automatically supersizes your orders for you.
Fact
Sitting in the middle seat of an airplane will make you have to use the washroom 3x more than usual.
Tips for success
For long-lasting lip color, use red nail polish in place of lip gloss.
Definition
Happiness (noun) - When your neighbor gets wireless internet and doesn't lock it.
Signs that things aren't going so well
Your girlfriend is pregnant. You wear a purity ring.
Tips for success
Drive on the wrong side of the road to promote international understanding and sympathy.
Definition
Shut up (phrase) - A phrase used by people who can't think of a valid argument.
Definition
Suspension (noun) - A way of rewarding the biggest troublemakers by giving them days off from school.
Realized
Moby Dick sounds like the name of a venereal disease.
Definition
Paper clip (noun) - A staple for people with commitment issues.
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