Also By UsSlow RobotI Waste So Much TimeI Waste So Much MoneyDear Blank Please BlankAttack of the Cute
Tips for success
Touching an interviewer's face nearly doubles your chance of a second job interview.
Fact
If it doesn't have a Wikipedia page, it isn't of any importance.
To do list
Hike in a national park. See a double rainbow. Break down crying. Have orgasm. Make YouTube video.
Realized
Whenever someone says "long story short", they usually end up telling you the long story.
Signs that things aren't going so well
Your happiness lasts as long as your pack of Oreos.
Tips for success
Don't replace the toilet paper roll when you finish it. I will teach the person after you to always think ahead.
Definition
Gullible (adjective) - A word commonly found written on ceilings.
Fact
If you eat crayons, you'll poop rainbows.
Tips for success
Wear clothes way too small for you. Your body will get used to the size and mould itself accordingly.
Definition
Epicenter (noun) - The place where it is most epic.
Signs that things aren't going so well
Your teacher just got dumped by her boyfriend right before your paper is due.
Definition
Joy (noun) - When you finish a bag of M&Ms, and then realize there is one more left at the bottom.
Tips for success
To get rid of wrinkles, simply iron your face.
Signs that things aren't going so well
Your boyfriend just discovered Call of Duty.
Tips for success
If you see a lady on the train or bus without a seat, be a gentleman and offer her your lap.
Signs that things aren't going so well
You're more interested in eating the edible panties, than what's under the edible panties.
To do list
Find fat lady. Ask her to sing.
Realized
Easy Bake Ovens are not the same thing as microwaves.
To do list
Cross-breed horse and narwhal. Make unicorn.
Fact
The way to a man's heart isn't through his stomach. It's through his chest with a sharp object.