Also By UsSlow RobotI Waste So Much TimeI Waste So Much MoneyDear Blank Please BlankAttack of the Cute
Realized
We probably could have flying cars by now. The only thing that stops us is that we'd probably crash into a building playing Angry Birds.
Signs that things aren't going so well
You win an award and Kanye comes running up the stairs.
Definition
Science Fair (noun) - A time for parents to show how talented they are.
Realized
British people don't sit around talking about american accents.
Definition
Abstract art (noun) - The solution to "I can't paint."
To do list
Get tattoo of a grape. Age. See if it turns into a raisin.
Definition
Honeymoon (noun) - The absolute worst time to get your period.
Signs that things aren't going so well
You just overheard your surgeon ask, "wait if that's the spleen, then what's this?"
Signs that things aren't going so well
Cleverbot just told you to stop wasting time and go do your homework.
To do list
Make a sign that says "Platform 9-3/4". Put it on a brick wall. Watch the hilarity that ensues.
To do list
Begin Google search. See top search results. Lose faith in humanity.
Fact
All songs are better when blasting in your car speakers while driving.
Signs that things aren't going so well
Your girlfriend starts listening to Taylor Swift.
Realized
The most difficult job in the world would be working in a bubble wrap manufacture unit.
Fact
If you're afraid of spiders, you'll see 99% more spiders than people who aren't.
Tips for success
Occasionally think "I know you can read my thoughts," just in case.
Tips for success
"Charlie Sheen" is an acceptable punch line to any joke you forget the ending of.
Tips for success
Whenever someone complains that a room is hot, ask if they would like you to leave.
To do list
Write in to "How It's Made" demanding to see an episode on babies.
Fact
I could be naked right now and you would never know.