Realized
If you're going to walk on thin ice, you might as well dance.
Definition
Panic (noun) - When you don't feel your phone in your pocket.
Tips for success
Before practicing any physical activity, make sure to consume plenty of candy and other sweets to ensure your body gets the energy it needs.
Realized
Spiderman is just a teenage boy whose body goes through some changes and starts shooting sticky white goo all over the place.
Tips for success
If she turned you down then you didn't use enough duct tape.
Tips for success
Use a long needle to pop your ears while at high altitudes.
Fact
Once you go Asian, you never miss an equation...
To do list
Walk into Sea World with a fishing pole.
Signs that things aren't going so well
You have a Korean roommate. Your cat is missing.
Tips for success
If the cops are flashing their lights at you, they want to see just how fast you can really drive. Impress them.
Signs that things aren't going so well
The only heat source you have is your overworked laptop battery.
Tips for success
It's better to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission...
Tips for success
When getting a blood transfusion, check to make sure you're getting authentic tigers' blood.
Fact
The Never Ending Story ends.
Signs that things aren't going so well
You say you're fat to get attention. No one disagrees with you.
To do list
Get bitten by a radioactive spider.
Definition
Caps Lock (noun) - WHAT YOU USE WHEN YOU WANT TO YELL AT SOMEONE OVER THE INTERNET.
To do list
Become a teacher. Make a test where every answer is "C." Enjoy the show.
Tips for success
Don't eat soap, no matter how good it smells.
Realized
Santa Claus is a hairy fat guy who breaks into the houses of little children in the middle of the night.
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