Also By UsSlow RobotI Waste So Much TimeI Waste So Much MoneyDear Blank Please BlankAttack of the Cute
Tips for success
When all else fails, have two men with guns come in yelling. (Especially effective during job interviews.)
Fact
Your bed is always more comfortable in the morning than at night.
Realized
The more you pay for an article of clothing the less you wear it.
Definition
Microwave (noun) - A hand gesture used by a midget to say "hello."
Fact
We all have that one annoying friend who only comments when someone spells something wrong.
Definition
Christmas (noun) - A holiday where you spend money you don't have to buy people you don't like gifts they won't use.
Fact
The smaller the body part, the more it hurts to jam it into a wall.
Fact
You will always walk into your school's bathroom hoping to be the only person there.
Signs that things aren't going so well
You only smoke when you drink. You've cut back to three packs a day.
Signs that things aren't going so well
You find yourself disappointed after realizing the movie "300" isn't about bowling.
Realized
Canadians are the only people you can make fun of without being considered racist.
Signs that things aren't going so well
You just talked about fight club.
Signs that things aren't going so well
Your girlfriend gets more action than you do.
Fact
Taylor Swift doesn't know how Romeo and Juliet ended.
Definition
Manicure (noun) - Paying $30 to get made fun of in another language.
Definition
Prom (noun) - A costly night of disappointment.
Fact
It will always stop hurting as soon as you get to the doctor's.
Fact
The moment your mother describes an outfit as 'cute' it will lose its appeal.
Tips for success
End every sentence with "according to the prophecy." It will make you seem spiritual, according to the prophecy.
Signs that things aren't going so well
You convince yourself that watching Grey's anatomy is pretty much the same as studying for your anatomy finals.