Also By UsSlow RobotI Waste So Much TimeI Waste So Much MoneyDear Blank Please BlankAttack of the Cute
Signs that things aren't going so well
You put your bra on backwards. It fits.
Tips for success
When picking up girls at the bar, remember that "no" means "yes," and "yes" means "double yes."
To do list
Steal candy from a baby. See how easy it really is.
Definition
Witty retort (noun) - Something you think of long after it's needed.
Fact
Alcohol (noun) - The cause and solution to all of the world's problems.
Realized
If it's clever, someone has already said it. .
Definition
Jeggings (noun) - A loophole in the dress code.
Tips for success
In the winter, metal poles taste like candy. Don't hesitate to lick them.
Definition
Miracle (noun) - The brief moment when you wake up with 20/20 vision before realizing you fell asleep with your contacts on.
Tips for success
Always log into StumbleUpon right before a deadline to get your creative juices flowing.
Signs that things aren't going so well
Facebook forgot your birthday.
Fact
When you take a long time in the bathroom at school, everybody knows you pooped.
Signs that things aren't going so well
Your thoughts are in the form of Facebook statuses.
Fact
When you're a kid, all you want is to grow up. When you grow up, all you want is to act like a kid.
Signs that things aren't going so well
You have red hair.
Definition
Toaster (noun) - A small appliance with two settings, burned and really burned.
Realized
Playing Angry Birds is not the same as studying for a physics test.
Signs that things aren't going so well
You feel like a plastic bag.
Realized
Nursery rhymes are not as joyful and happy as we thought as kids.
Signs that things aren't going so well
You begin most conversations with ‘I’m not a stalker, but…’