Also By UsSlow RobotI Waste So Much TimeI Waste So Much MoneyDear Blank Please BlankAttack of the Cute
Tips for success
Drop out of school. This way you can maximize your availability of hours while working at McDonald's.
Definition
Shower (noun) - The shortened term for "personal concert hall."
Realized
I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
To do list
Make vanilla pudding. Put in mayo jar. Eat in public.
Signs that things aren't going so well
You child-proofed your house, but they still got in.
Signs that things aren't going so well
12 year olds are pregnant, and you still can't get a date.
Realized
"Head over heels" could mean you are simply walking... your head is over your heels.
Tips for success
People are more likely to wash their hands after using the restroom if someone else is in there with them. Stay in the bathroom and watch everyone to ensure that you live in a healthier world.
Tips for success
If asked which child is yours while standing by a playground at the park, reply with, "I haven't decided yet..."
Signs that things aren't going so well
You don't need to move to keep the hula hoop around your waist.
Fact
He who laughs last, didn't get the joke.
Signs that things aren't going so well
You plan your day around your Farmville crops.
Signs that things aren't going so well
The guy you're in love with is dating your brother.
Tips for success
When someone says "I love you," and you don't feel the same way, respond with "I love U2."
Tips for success
Leave your sidewalk unshoveled in the winter. It will give the pedestrians the feeling of hiking across Alaska without the cost of airfare.
Tips for success
Put sunscreen on food to prevent it from being burnt in the oven.
Fact
The final 10% of any progress bar will take 90% of the total time to complete.
Tips for success
Don't think of it as kidnapping, think of it as surprise adoption.
Signs that things aren't going so well
Ke$ha has advised you to use less glitter.
Fact
The best way to confuse a boy is to wear a bra that hooks in the front.