Tips for success
When the neighbor's house catches fire, break out the marshmallows.
Fact
Walt Disney was afraid of mice.
Tips for success
Doodling looks a lot like taking notes.
Definition
Relief (noun) - The feeling you get when your teacher forgets to collect your homework.
Signs that things aren't going so well
You count playing Temple Run towards your daily exercise routine.
Realized
Bad guys have the worst aim with guns.
Tips for success
When people don't laugh at your jokes it's because they don't understand them. Explain why it's funny until they laugh.
Signs that things aren't going so well
You make words plural with a "z" instead of an "s" because you think it makes you look cool.
Realized
All crayons taste like wax. Even the "orange" ones.
Signs that things aren't going so well
You're trying to get pregnant because one more kid would throw you into a new welfare bracket.
Signs that things aren't going so well
Your dad is going to your father-daughter dance with a different teenage girl...
Definition
Atheism (noun) - A non-prophet organization.
Signs that things aren't going so well
You have zero Facebook notifications. It's your birthday.
Signs that things aren't going so well
You have resorted to using your toaster as central heating.
Signs that things aren't going so well
The first thing you hear after waking up from plastic surgery is, "Well, we tried..."
Definition
Dread (verb) - What happens when you realize you have an extremely important assignment due the next morning right before you are about to fall asleep.
Tips for success
There is always money in the banana stand.
Definition
Mascara (noun) - A type of cosmetic product that must be applied with an open mouth.
Signs that things aren't going so well
The nicest car you've ever been in is a police car.
Definition
Radio (noun) - A string of advertisements occasionally interrupted by a song.
EVERYTHING WITHIN A MILLION PIXEL RADIUS OF HERE, COPYRIGHT © GROUCHYRABBIT.COM - CONTACT US - FEEDBACK - TERMS AND PRIVACY