Realized
It's a little unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice."
Signs that things aren't going so well
Your mom has the hots for you, and your Delorean is broken.
Fact
You'll always think of something better to say after you've finished having the argument.
Tips for success
Always stand behind the old lady at the supermarket.
Definition
NAP (acronym) - National Association of Procrastinators.
To do list
Clip a combination lock into the ring of someone with hollow ear gauges. Run away.
To do list
Get fat over the holidays. Make New Year's resolution to get thin. Wait a year. Repeat.
To do list
Meet a girl named Destiny. Ask her out on a date. Tell everyone that you have a date with Destiny.
Fact
If the world does not end on December 21st, there will be a lot of babies born on September 20th, 2013.
To do list
Become a Disney channel star. Grow up. Check into rehab.
Realized
More people would drink responsibly if there was a vodka called "Responsibly."
Fact
There are three types of people in the word, people who can count and people who can't.
Definition
I'm cold (phrase) - Your girlfriend's way of seeing if you care about her.
Tips for success
When it comes to group work, do absolutely nothing. Not doing your part will show the others how great you think their work is in comparison to yours.
Fact
Your teacher will never hear you if you are correct, but they will always hear you if you are wrong.
Signs that things aren't going so well
The power's out, the raptors are loose.
Fact
Whenever you cut your nails, you will need to do something that requires long nails right after.
Tips for success
Cover food that has the potential to splatter in the microwave with aluminum foil.
Realized
Pink lemonade and regular lemonade taste exactly the same...
Definition
Let's hang out sometime (phrase) - I feel bad that we don't talk anymore, so I hope saying this makes me feel better, even though we both know it isn't going to happen.
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