Also By UsSlow RobotI Waste So Much TimeI Waste So Much MoneyDear Blank Please BlankAttack of the Cute
Realized
We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.
Realized
It's only a matter of time before Ke$ha makes an entire album revolving around glitter and liver failure.
Realized
No matter how long you play tennis, you'll never be as good as a wall.
Realized
Spongebob lives in Bikini Bottom. He is absorbent. Spongebob is a tampon.
Realized
All the animals people want to save could kill us.
Realized
Canadians are the only people you can make fun of without being considered racist.
Realized
Apple Cinnamon air fresheners don't taste as good as they smell.
Realized
Maybe we should've called them "IF you're skinny jeans..."
Realized
If you talked behind someone's back, they would still be able to hear you.
Realized
If you come out of high school still feeling innocent, you didn't have a social life.
Realized
There is a seafood restaurant at Sea World.
Realized
Angry Birds teaches people that if somebody steals from you, it's ok to kill them to take back what is yours.
Realized
If you know too much personal information about a famous person, you are a fan. If you know too much about any other random person, you are a stalker.
Realized
In 1000 years, archeologists will find tanning beds and think that we fried people as punishment.
Realized
If "Fe" is the symbol for iron, then "female" means ironman.
Realized
Mumbling is a lot like talking in cursive.
Realized
"You're one in a million" means that there are over 6,000 people just like you.
Realized
You shouldn't be afraid of falling from heights. You should be afraid of hitting the ground.
Realized
Being sleepy is like being drunk, everything seems funnier and nothing makes sense.
Realized
If I have my cake, I am going to eat it too...