Also By UsSlow RobotI Waste So Much TimeI Waste So Much MoneyDear Blank Please BlankAttack of the Cute
Realized
If "Fe" is the symbol for iron, then "female" means ironman.
Realized
The people in the library don't appreciate porn sites as much as you do.
Realized
When Bill Gates feels like a million bucks, he's having a crappy day.
Realized
The next generation won't even know Pluto exists.
Realized
A boy is attractive until you find out he's British, Irish, or Scottish. Then, he is 10000% more attractive.
Realized
No matter how many pencils you buy at the beginning of the school year, you will always end up losing them before second semester.
Realized
The best hipster jokes are the ones that nobody tells.
Realized
The only disease the internet has helped me diagnose myself with is hypochondria.
Realized
A broken mirror is 7 years of bad luck, a broken condom is 18.
Realized
No matter what you like, there will always be some religion that is against it.
Realized
Sirius Black's middle name could be Lee.
Realized
Everything you learn after 5th grade is completely pointless, but your teachers will try to convince you otherwise.
Realized
If "guns don't kill people, people kill people", then toasters don't toast toast, but toast toasts toast.
Realized
Every car on the side of the road at night looks like a cop car.
Realized
The words "Don't panic but..." are always immediately followed by a very good reason to panic.
Realized
It takes more muscles to frown than it does to smile, give your face a workout.
Realized
For all we know, gummy bear vitamins could be gummy bears.
Realized
Slim chance and fat chance mean the same thing.
Realized
My American flag was made in China.
Realized
Textbooks make excellent pillows.