Realized
Anything unrelated to elephants is irrelephant.
Realized
If people actually became dinosaurs when they aged, no one would complain about getting older.
Realized
No one ever mentions lesbians stealing all the great girls from straight guys.
Realized
Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.
Realized
If you watch Twilight backwards, it's still a bad movie.
Realized
If Hershey bars printed "You're pretty" on the inside of its wrappers, they would fully replace boyfriends.
Realized
Time Square is a Triangle.
Realized
Menstruation, menopause, mental breakdowns… All of a woman’s problems begin with men.
Realized
There is no "I" in team, but there is a "U" in suck.
Realized
The worst things in life are also free.
Realized
If Past, Present, and Future walked into the same bar...it would be tense.
Realized
Dogs always wait until they're right next to people to shake water from their fur.
Realized
For cannibals, all fights are food fights.
Realized
More people would drink responsibly if there was a vodka called "Responsibly."
Realized
The cure for any "incurable" disease or disorder is to just walk it off. Why do you think they have walks to cure Cancer, Aids, Diabetes, Autism, etc...?
Realized
The leading cause of death is birth.
Realized
When you walk into a spider web you automatically learn karate.
Realized
Parents spend the first 10 years of a kid's life getting them into bed, the second 10 years getting their kid out of bed and the third 10 years wondering whose bed their kid is in.
Realized
If some one had really invented a time machine in the future, we'd know by now...
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