Also By UsSlow RobotI Waste So Much TimeI Waste So Much MoneyDear Blank Please BlankAttack of the Cute
Realized
Being pissed off is better than being pissed on.
Realized
The Little Mermaid could have written Eric a note explaining her situation and why he needed to kiss her. That would have been much easier than having Eric ram a giant boat into Ursula.
Realized
No matter how politically correct you try to be, you will always offend someone.
Realized
If you move the letters around in "Spandex" you get "Expands."
Realized
"Stressed" is "desserts" spelled backwards. One usually leads to the other.
Realized
Emos should probably just disregard the golden rule.
Realized
There is a place in Norway called Hell. It regularly freezes over.
Realized
If it really is "needless to say," why does everyone always feel the need to say it?
Realized
There is no worse feeling than the millisecond you are sure that you're about to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
Realized
The "silent letters" in words are just typo's from whoever made the first dictionary.
Realized
The leading cause of death is birth.
Realized
You can't talk while inhaling through your nose.
Realized
A boy is attractive until you find out he's British, Irish, or Scottish. Then, he is 10000% more attractive.
Realized
It's only a matter of time before Ke$ha makes an entire album revolving around glitter and liver failure.
Realized
When Bill Gates feels like a million bucks, he's having a crappy day.
Realized
Eating junk food after working out doesn't defeat the purpose, it justifies the cause.
Realized
Professor X can move anything with his mind... except his legs.
Realized
The real danger of chewing gum at school isn't being caught by your teachers, it's being caught by your friends.
Realized
If Batman and Cat woman had a kid, they'd have to name it Batcat, or the less popular Man woman.
Realized
Women can't park well because for the past 400 years, they have been told that 3 inches is actually 6.