Also By UsSlow RobotI Waste So Much TimeI Waste So Much MoneyDear Blank Please BlankAttack of the Cute
Realized
The professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, but can not fix a boat.
Realized
When you're 7, pulling an all-nigher is impossible. When you're 17, going to sleep before 1AM is.
Realized
While driving, everyone going faster than you is a maniac and everyone going slower than you is an idiot.
Realized
Saying "no backsies" doesn't work with herpes...
Realized
Disney plays more music videos during the day than MTV.
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Being a child is more fun as an adult.
Realized
When a girl tells you that she just had her period, you are officially in the friendzone.
Realized
All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive, fattening or married to someone else.
Realized
Sometimes the best thing about a gift is the bubble wrap and box.
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Pregnancy is inception. It's a human inside of a human.
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There is no worse feeling than the millisecond you are sure that you're about to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
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Guys workout to impress other guys. Tell a girl you bench 275lbs, she will have no idea what you are talking about.
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The male version of a cougar is a pedophile.
Realized
Kit Kats never actually make the noise they do in the commercials unless your trying to hide the fact that your eating one.
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The depressing thing about tennis is no matter how good you get, you'll never be as good as the wall.
Realized
2012 years ago, we started keeping track.
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Restaurants have to remind employees to wash their hands.
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More people would drink responsibly if there was a vodka called "Responsibly."
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Hipstamatic is autotune for photos.
Realized
When Simba is singing how he can't wait to be king, he's singing how he can't wait for his father to die.