Realized
Emos should probably just disregard the golden rule.
Realized
There are some things you just shouldn't do for a Klondike Bar...
Realized
Being a child is more fun as an adult.
Realized
People that have welcome mats on their doorstep should not get upset when someone breaks into their house.
Realized
Whatever doesn't kill you generally just isn't trying hard enough.
Realized
Sleep + social life = bad grades. Good grades + sleep = no social life. Good grades + social life = no sleep.
Realized
A lot of shepherds must fall asleep on the job, with all that sheep counting.
Realized
Why the game is called "Monopoly."
Realized
Taylor Swift + a bottle of Jack = Ke$ha.
Realized
Everyone screams like a girl... It would just be awkward if somebody screamed in a really low pitched voice.
Realized
If it's clever, someone has already said it. .
Realized
When one mature adult has an imaginary friend it is called crazy. When millions of mature adults share the same imaginary friend, it's called religion.
Realized
They sell animal crackers at the zoo.
Realized
After you die, someone has to delete your Facebook page.
Realized
Breakups should be on a scale of one to Adele as to how tough they are.
Realized
Many people misunderstand Mexicans. We think they're favorite sport is soccer, but that's only when they're not competing in cross country.
Realized
If chocolate could check that sound in the middle of the night, there would be no need for men.
Realized
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband.
Realized
Google must be a woman... It knows everything.
Realized
No matter how fast you run at them, automatic sliding doors will always open in time before you get to them. Go ahead, try it.
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