Realized
If someone says "I can't breathe," they are clearly lying.
Realized
You can't talk while inhaling through your nose.
Realized
All of the Disney princesses have serious daddy issues.
Realized
90's kids constantly brag about their childhood shows but fail to recognize that their entire generation is characterized solely by the cartoons they watched.
Realized
We kill people that kill people, to show people that killing people is wrong.
Realized
There are never pizza delivery girls....
Realized
Rainbows are neither in the shape of a bow or made of rain.
Realized
I can never spell Mississippi without saying it out loud.
Realized
Rockabye Baby is a song about a baby that falls off a tree and dies.
Realized
The only problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
Realized
If "guns don't kill people, people kill people", then toasters don't toast toast, but toast toasts toast.
Realized
There are two types of people in this world: those who categorize the population into two types, and those who don't.
Realized
The higher you are in math, the less you have to use it in real life.
Realized
Simba and Nala have the same dad.
Realized
Practical jokes aren't very practical.
Realized
iTunes Terms and Conditions Section 13A: At any point in time we can come take a kidney.
Realized
There is a seafood restaurant at Sea World.
Realized
College is like a drunken orgy. No wait, actually it is a drunken orgy.
Realized
Don't you hate it when you're lost in the woods without a shirt, and Abercrombie takes a picture of you? I do.
Realized
Not having a crush to stalk makes Facebook a lot more boring.
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