Realized
Life is too short to use single-ply toilet paper.
Realized
All diet pills require diet and exercise in order to work.
Realized
Eating junk food after working out doesn't defeat the purpose, it justifies the cause.
Realized
Many people misunderstand Mexicans. We think they're favorite sport is soccer, but that's only when they're not competing in cross country.
Realized
I've heard "I Will Always Love You" by Whitney Houston more in the last week on TV than I ever had before.
Realized
If you are what you eat, then dementors are just big bundles of joy.
Realized
The world would be saving so much power if nobody was afraid of the dark.
Realized
The most difficult job in the world would be working in a bubble wrap manufacture unit.
Realized
All of my favorite childhood shows have either been canceled or screwed up.
Realized
Apple Cinnamon air fresheners don't taste as good as they smell.
Realized
Most middle class people are more suited to run the country than the government.
Realized
Somehow they took a tree and made it soft enough to wipe your bottom with.
Realized
The professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, but can not fix a boat.
Realized
Most of the show "Saturday Night Live" is shown on Sunday.
Realized
If it weren't for physics and law enforcement, I'd be unstoppable.
Realized
Being blind is just being reverse invisible.
Realized
Sharing is caring. Unless you have AIDS.
Realized
State Farm does not insure farms.
Realized
There's a difference between a butt-dial and a booty call.
Realized
I spend all day dreaming about sleep and all night dreaming I'm awake.
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