Realized
Nothing will scare you more than 8 missed calls from your mom.
Realized
If you're cooler than me, doesn't that make me hotter than you?
Realized
If you break a mirror, you probably had bad luck to begin with.
Realized
There should be an age limit on clothing items.
Realized
Mumbling is a lot like talking in cursive.
Realized
Taylor Swift has no idea what happened after Romeo and Juliet got married.
Realized
Not all men are jerks, some are dead.
Realized
Every marriage that doesn't end in divorce ends in death.
Realized
People that have welcome mats on their doorstep should not get upset when someone breaks into their house.
Realized
The invention of the shovel was ground breaking.
Realized
More people would drink responsibly if there was a vodka called "Responsibly."
Realized
iTunes Terms and Conditions Section 13A: At any point in time we can come take a kidney.
Realized
Bill Nye the Science guy is an actor.
Realized
I have skin. Potatoes have skin. I am a potato.
Realized
When you're drunk, toilets and sinks are synonymous.
Realized
If ladybugs weren't red with pretty little spots, we would kill them too.
Realized
Saying "I just hit that" while pointing to a woman makes you sound like a pimp no matter how people interpret it.
Realized
They sell animal crackers at the zoo.
Realized
Not having a crush to stalk makes Facebook a lot more boring.
Realized
In order to solve the abortion and world hunger issues we should let the babies be born, then feed them to the hungry. After all who doesn't love some baby back ribs?
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