Realized
The Kardashian jokes will probably last longer than their marriage did.
Realized
Only important people get assassinated. Everyone else is just murdered.
Realized
Professor X can move anything with his mind... except his legs.
Realized
Moses would be the best lifeguard ever.
Realized
"The Very Hungry Caterpillar" teaches children that they can beome beautiful by eating everything in sight.
Realized
2012 years ago, we started keeping track.
Realized
"Yell for help" is not in the list of top 100 things to do before you die.
Realized
If I had a dollar for every time I dropped my cell phone in the toilet, I'd probably be doing it more often.
Realized
Despite the recent increase in the cost of living, it still remains very popular.
Realized
You can't hum while holding your nose closed.
Realized
The water never splashes on your face the way it does in face wash commercials.
Realized
Nerds will never go hungry. They have pi.
Realized
You can't really break a heart... you can just poke it with a stick until it stops beating.
Realized
The Little Mermaid could have written Eric a note explaining her situation and why he needed to kiss her. That would have been much easier than having Eric ram a giant boat into Ursula.
Realized
Moby Dick was a sperm whale.
Realized
A well rounded diet consists of 3 square meals a day.
Realized
Spongebob lives in Bikini Bottom. He is absorbent. Spongebob is a tampon.
Realized
Super Heros are just people with split-personality disorders who dress in tights.
Realized
No one really knows why the chicken is crossing the road...
Realized
If a laugh is a smile having an orgasm, a chuckle is a smile faking it.