Also By UsSlow RobotI Waste So Much TimeI Waste So Much MoneyDear Blank Please BlankAttack of the Cute
Realized
No one ever really does anything for a Klondike Bar.
Realized
Today I broke my record for days of not dying. I plan to break it again tomorrow.
Realized
You can't talk while inhaling through your nose.
Realized
Emos should probably just disregard the golden rule.
Realized
Math problems are the only time two trains can be speeding towards each other, and no one is concerned.
Realized
What's more awkward than accidently making eye contact with someone while looking around the room? Doing it a second time.
Realized
No one ever mentions lesbians stealing all the great girls from straight guys.
Realized
They sell seafood at Seaworld.
Realized
Birthdays are like boogers. The more you have, the harder it is to breathe.
Realized
Saying "no backsies" doesn't work with herpes...
Realized
Cinderella was the only person with that shoe size in the whole kingdom.
Realized
It's only a matter of time before Ke$ha makes an entire album revolving around glitter and liver failure.
Realized
That awkward moment you realize everyone is listening to your conversation.
Realized
Quotes are just legal plagiarism.
Realized
Moses would make the best lifeguard ever.
Realized
The only way Axe can get you a girl, is if you spray her in the eyes with it and drag her into the alley.
Realized
Vagina jokes aren't funny. Period.
Realized
The word OK is a sideways person.
Realized
Apple Cinnamon air fresheners don't taste as good as they smell.
Realized
TVs used to be fat and people were skinny. Now, TVs are skinny and people are fat.