Also By UsSlow RobotI Waste So Much TimeI Waste So Much MoneyDear Blank Please BlankAttack of the Cute
Realized
Women can't park well because for the past 400 years, they have been told that 3 inches is actually 6.
Realized
Today is the oldest you've been and the youngest you'll ever be again.
Realized
The Pringles guy looks just like a younger Mr. Monopoly.
Realized
Many people misunderstand Mexicans. We think they're favorite sport is soccer, but that's only when they're not competing in cross country.
Realized
Behind your back would technically be in front of you.
Realized
Spongebob lives in Bikini Bottom. He is absorbent. Spongebob is a tampon.
Realized
Anyone who uses the phrase "easy as taking candy from a baby" has never tried taking candy from a baby.
Realized
Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy bubble wrap.
Realized
The Monopoly Man owns Pringles.
Realized
Allstate is not available in all states.
Realized
You know that counting sheep isn't working when you start imagining detailed back-stories for each of them.
Realized
Guys workout to impress other guys. Tell a girl you bench 275lbs, she will have no idea what you are talking about.
Realized
Saying "awkward" in an awkward situation doesn't make it any less awkward.
Realized
You learn from your mistakes. You learn at school. School is a giant mistake.
Realized
Every car on the side of the road at night looks like a cop car.
Realized
If you travel to your future, it becomes part of your past.
Realized
The tooth fairy teaches children that they can sell their body parts for money.
Realized
No one ever really does anything for a Klondike Bar.
Realized
If you're cooler than me, doesn't that make me hotter than you?
Realized
Snuggies are fuzzy hospital gowns.