Realized
Nudists don't have to worry about tan lines.
Realized
Sirius Black's middle name could be Lee.
Realized
When you no longer run into all your friends at the mall, but run into them at the grocery store, you are officially an adult.
Realized
"The Very Hungry Caterpillar" teaches children that they can beome beautiful by eating everything in sight.
Realized
If I had a dollar for every time I dropped my cell phone in the toilet, I'd probably be doing it more often.
Realized
I've heard "I Will Always Love You" by Whitney Houston more in the last week on TV than I ever had before.
Realized
The best part of the movie always happens when you're in the bathroom.
Realized
The amount of toothbrushes in your bathroom will always be greater than the amount of people who live in your house.
Realized
"My bad" and "sorry" mean the same thing, except at funerals.
Realized
If you shake the baby long enough, it WILL stop crying.
Realized
The religions that prohibit bacon are the least popular.
Realized
Taylor Swift - Microphone = Kanye West.
Realized
The world would be saving so much power if nobody was afraid of the dark.
Realized
The worst thing in the world is an Indian Giver... no wait, I take it back.
Realized
All books, no matter how long they are, what genre they are, or even what age group they are, are all made up of different combinations of just 26 letters.
Realized
Dolphins are gay sharks.
Realized
Phones get smarter and thinner while people get stupider and fatter.
Realized
Dead people who believe in re-incarnation should have "BRB" written on their tombstones.
Realized
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
Realized
I get all my news from Saturday Night Live.