Realized
How come we say "tunafish," but not "beefmammal" or "chickenbird?"
Realized
When someone says, "This isn't up to par," they're complimenting your excellent work since in golf you try to score below par.
Realized
Herpes is like glitter. It gets everywhere, spreads quickly and is impossible to clean up.
Realized
If Hershey bars printed "You're pretty" on the inside of its wrappers, they would fully replace boyfriends.
Realized
The penguin is the only species that is not human that can successfully control a continent.
Realized
Johnson & Johnson No More Tear Shampoo doesn't work when watching Toy Story 3.
Realized
If you travel to your future, it becomes part of your past.
Realized
If I had a nickel for every time I got distracted I'm in the mood for ice cream.
Realized
The seashore is a terrible place for Sally to sell seashells.
Realized
Bill Nye the Science guy is an actor.
Realized
All of my favorite childhood shows have either been canceled or screwed up.
Realized
You know you're old when you go to your HIgh School reunion and all the handicap parking spaces fill up first.
Realized
If only the good die young does this mean my grandma is evil?
Realized
The advertisements for women razors show a woman shaving a leg with no hair on it.
Realized
Revenge is a dish best served cold. Revenge is sweet. Revenge is ice cream?
Realized
People in movies never have to go pee.
Realized
Without the help of Gwen Stefani, much of the population would still have no idea how to spell "bananas."
Realized
Rain is God's way of giving hobos a shower.
Realized
It isn't a holiday unless it has a Google doodle.
Realized
It's hard to convince your grandma you're not hungry.