Realized
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
Realized
A gorilla is like an unexplained metaphor.
Realized
People can stalk you on Facebook just as easily as you stalk them.
Realized
The amount of toothbrushes in your bathroom will always be greater than the amount of people who live in your house.
Realized
Edward Scissorhands should never be allowed to run.
Realized
They sell seafood at Seaworld.
Realized
Teachers say never to use Wikipedia because they are jealous it didn't exist when they were in school.
Realized
Sprinkles are the edible equivalent of glitter.
Realized
2 of the 3 judges on America's Got Talent are British.
Realized
Hipstamatic is autotune for photos.
Realized
If you open your mind too much your brain will fall out.
Realized
Kit Kats never actually make the noise they do in the commercials unless your trying to hide the fact that your eating one.
Realized
Sirius Black's middle name could be Lee.
Realized
If you take the vowels out of boys, you have "BS." If you take the vowels out of female, you have "FML."
Realized
If meat is murder, then dairy is robbery.
Realized
Magical people name their children strange things like Harry and Ron, whereas, normal people choose simple names like Hermione.
Realized
Adding the word "ladies" onto the end of any sentence makes you seem five times creepier, ladies.
Realized
Facebook asks me what I'm thinking. Twitter asks me what I'm doing. Foursquare asks me where I am. Conclusion, the Internet is my girlfriend.
Realized
If I had $100 for every time I read something interesting on Facebook, I'd still be broke.
Realized
Scarecrow is a zombie. All he really wanted was a brain.
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