Also By UsSlow RobotI Waste So Much TimeI Waste So Much MoneyDear Blank Please BlankAttack of the Cute
Realized
I paid a good amount of cash for my hair dresser to cut my bangs unevenly.
Realized
Strawberry shampoo will never taste as good as it smells.
Realized
Vagina jokes aren't funny. Period.
Realized
Grinding babies into dust does not make baby powder.
Realized
If only the good die young does this mean my grandma is evil?
Realized
That awkward moment you realize everyone is listening to your conversation.
Realized
Grapefruits are nothing like grapes.
Realized
At one point in history it required talent to become a singer.
Realized
If Batman and Cat woman had a kid, they'd have to name it Batcat, or the less popular Man woman.
Realized
The world would be saving so much power if nobody was afraid of the dark.
Realized
You know you're old when you go to your HIgh School reunion and all the handicap parking spaces fill up first.
Realized
Math problems are like farts, the smaller ones seem better, but they're really the worst of all.
Realized
It's funny how amusing staring-blankly-at-a-wall can be when one is avoiding school work.
Realized
All of the Disney princesses have serious daddy issues.
Realized
Money can't buy happiness, but I'd rather cry in a Ferrari.
Realized
Pink lemonade and regular lemonade taste exactly the same...
Realized
Only important people get assassinated. Everyone else is just murdered.
Realized
Simba and Nala have the same dad.
Realized
When you're drunk, toilets and sinks are synonymous.
Realized
No one ever mentions lesbians stealing all the great girls from straight guys.