Realized
Rockabye Baby is a song about a baby that falls off a tree and dies.
Realized
The game of tag is just a way of preparing children for the upcoming zombie apocalypse.
Realized
When one person is obsessed with another it's called stalking, but when two people are obsessed with each other it's called love.
Realized
"Google before you tweet" is the new "think before you speak."
Realized
In The Little Mermaid, Ursula sings the song "Poor Unfortunate Souls." Ariel's a ginger.
Realized
Math problems are like farts, the smaller ones seem better, but they're really the worst of all.
Realized
Google must be a woman... It knows everything.
Realized
If chocolate could check that sound in the middle of the night, there would be no need for men.
Realized
Bald people never have bad hair days.
Realized
A lot of shepherds must fall asleep on the job, with all that sheep counting.
Realized
Scented markers don't taste at all how they smell.
Realized
All of the Disney princesses have serious daddy issues.
Realized
Essays are always due on the day that all printers in the world mysteriously stop working.
Realized
"Iron Man" is a super hero. "Iron woman" is a command.
Realized
The real message of The Wizard of Oz is that, with the right pair of heels, a girl can get whatever she wants.
Realized
Bikinis are the socially acceptable form of wearing underwear in public.
Realized
Whoever coined the phrase "quiet as a mouse" clearly has never stepped on one.
Realized
The advertisements for women razors show a woman shaving a leg with no hair on it.
Realized
There is never a time when mattresses and cars are NOT on sale.
Realized
You learn from your mistakes. You learn at school. School is a giant mistake.
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