Realized
Most people are like Slinkies, relatively useless, but fun to push down stairs.
Realized
France made french fries, yet Americans are the fat ones.
Realized
I have a lot of jokes about unemployed people, however none of them really work...
Realized
If you open your mind too much your brain will fall out.
Realized
My lemon juice is made from artificial flavoring, but the dish soap is made with real lemons.
Realized
If I had $100 for every time I read something interesting on Facebook, I'd still be broke.
Realized
If all the starving people in the world died from starvation then only the people who are not starving would be left and World Hunger would be solved.
Realized
School is like an erection. It's long and hard unless you're Asian.
Realized
Violets aren't blue.
Realized
If love is blind, why is there so much lingerie?
Realized
Anyone who uses the phrase "easy as taking candy from a baby" has never tried taking candy from a baby.
Realized
People that have welcome mats on their doorstep should not get upset when someone breaks into their house.
Realized
None of my teachers ever gave an A for effort.
Realized
If a picture is worth a thousand words, does that mean that one word is worth one one-thousandth of a picture?
Realized
I'd rather sit naked on an iceberg serenaded by Rebecca Black for the rest of my life than let anyone see the full history of things I've googled.
Realized
Bad guys have the worst aim with guns.
Realized
Google must be a woman... It knows everything.
Realized
A video of humans having sex is pornography. A video of animals having sex is a documentary.
Realized
Better late than pregnant.
Realized
Whenever I want to tell a funny joke about some ethnicity they're ALWAYS sitting at the next table over.
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