Also By UsSlow RobotI Waste So Much TimeI Waste So Much MoneyDear Blank Please BlankAttack of the Cute
Realized
Who in their right mind would put their proof in the pudding?
Realized
Life is nothing like a box of chocolates.
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It took tens of thousands of years for humans to go from wearing no clothes to covering almost every inch of their bodies. It's taken about 200 years to reverse the process.
Realized
If I have my cake, I am going to eat it too...
Realized
I laugh more over text than in real life.
Realized
In order to solve the abortion and world hunger issues we should let the babies be born, then feed them to the hungry. After all who doesn't love some baby back ribs?
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The game monopoly is made by only one company.
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The hardest part of keeping your vegetables in the freezer is trying to fit the wheelchairs in.
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The apostrophe is important in the contraction who're.
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Dogs always wait until they're right next to people to shake water from their fur.
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Slugs are just homeless snails.
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Many people misunderstand Mexicans. We think they're favorite sport is soccer, but that's only when they're not competing in cross country.
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Mozart is de-composing.
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Cereal drowns in milk, therefore milk is a cereal killer.
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Math problems are like farts, the smaller ones seem better, but they're really the worst of all.
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Peter Piper didn't pick any pickled peppers. You pickle them after they're picked.
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The Wizard of Oz is the ultimate chick flick. It's about two women trying to kill each other over shoes.
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For every crazy idea you come up with, there exists a video on the internet, of a Japanese person who has already done it.
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I can never spell Mississippi without saying it out loud.
Realized
Being pissed off is better than being pissed on.