Realized
Nobody works on labor day.
Realized
Cheese is milk's leap towards immortality.
Realized
Those were the droids I was looking for.
Realized
2012 years ago, we started keeping track.
Realized
What happens in Vegas ends up on Facebook.
Realized
There is no worse feeling than the millisecond you are sure that you're about to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
Realized
It isn't a holiday unless it has a Google doodle.
Realized
America's punishment for leaving England is losing their accents.
Realized
My lucky rabbit's foot didn't work for the rabbit.
Realized
It's impossible to casually walk across a blow-up mattress.
Realized
You can't hum while holding your nose closed.
Realized
Girls spend the first 10 years of their lives playing with Barbie, and the next 10 years trying to look like her.
Realized
Edward Scissorhands will never win a game of rock, paper, scissors.
Realized
My love life is like an iPhone 4S. I don't have an iPhone 4S.
Realized
No matter how long you play tennis, you'll never be as good as a wall.
Realized
Playing Angry Birds is not the same as studying for a physics test.
Realized
If "guns don't kill people, people kill people", then toasters don't toast toast, but toast toasts toast.
Realized
There's a difference between a butt-dial and a booty call.
Realized
Deodorant only smells delicious.
Realized
People who wear sweatpants usually aren't the ones sweating.
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