Also By UsSlow RobotI Waste So Much TimeI Waste So Much MoneyDear Blank Please BlankAttack of the Cute
Realized
Bernie Madoff was your retirement plan.
Realized
Rainbows are neither in the shape of a bow or made of rain.
Realized
If something were better than the leading brand, then it would be the leading brand.
Realized
Volleyball is just an intense version of "Don't let the balloon touch the floor..."
Realized
Taylor Swift - Microphone = Kanye West.
Realized
The only thing worse than a warm toilet seat is a wet one.
Realized
Peeing in the bath is not the same as peeing in the shower.
Realized
Women can't park well because for the past 400 years, they have been told that 3 inches is actually 6.
Realized
Every Bruno Mars song sung from the perspective of a girl would make the girl sound psycho.
Realized
Nap time in preschool isn't for the students. It's for the teachers.
Realized
Many people misunderstand Mexicans. We think they're favorite sport is soccer, but that's only when they're not competing in cross country.
Realized
Karma always comes back around. Karma is a boomerang?
Realized
Far too many fairy tale princes go around kissing dead or sleeping women.
Realized
Punching someone in the face is a very efficient way to see how forgiving they are.
Realized
Slugs are just homeless snails.
Realized
Chris Crocker is a man!
Realized
We kill people who kill people because killing people is wrong.
Realized
No one's as ugly as their license picture, nor as good-looking as their Facebook profile picture.
Realized
You know you're getting old when you can wrap your own presents and still be surprised on Christmas.
Realized
iTunes Terms and Conditions Section 13A: At any point in time we can come take a kidney.