Also By UsSlow RobotI Waste So Much TimeI Waste So Much MoneyDear Blank Please BlankAttack of the Cute
Realized
March fourth is the only date on the calendar that is a sentence.
Realized
Accepting a friend request is giving someone permission to stalk you.
Realized
Today I broke my record for days of not dying. I plan to break it again tomorrow.
Realized
Childhood is like being drunk, everyone remembers what you did, except for you.
Realized
Peninsulas are just islands that aren’t trying hard enough.
Realized
What ever happened to number 1 pencils?
Realized
Opinions are like butts. Everyone has one and some are better than others.
Realized
Most rioting in the world happens in the countries with the least bacon.
Realized
If you travel to your future, it becomes part of your past.
Realized
Soap operas have nothing to do with soap, or opera.
Realized
The earlier it is in the morning, the less Wal*Mart employees care if you ride your bike around the store.
Realized
Conversations that start "We need to talk," never end well.
Realized
You can't hum while holding your nose closed.
Realized
If it's clever, someone has already said it. .
Realized
If you have to ask a person if they are okay, they are probably not okay.
Realized
A gingerbread man with a house made of gingerbread is like a person with a house made from people.
Realized
My lemon juice is made from artificial flavoring, but the dish soap is made with real lemons.
Realized
Math problems are the only time two trains can be speeding towards each other, and no one is concerned.
Realized
If drinking and driving is illegal, then why do you need a drivers license to buy alcohol?
Realized
Disney plays more music videos during the day than MTV.