Realized
After you die, someone has to delete your Facebook page.
Realized
Crayons are a lot like M & M's. All the colors taste the same.
Realized
When crumbs fall down your shirt they've been boobie trapped.
Realized
"Stressed" is "desserts" spelled backwards. One usually leads to the other.
Realized
Only ugly people talk about inner beauty.
Realized
There's no such thing as pink lemons.
Realized
You can't hum while holding your nose closed.
Realized
That awkward moment you realize everyone is listening to your conversation.
Realized
When one person is obsessed with another it's called stalking, but when two people are obsessed with each other it's called love.
Realized
You'll never look at your parents the same way after learning how babies are made.
Realized
If money doesn't grow on trees, then why do banks have branches?
Realized
No matter how hard you try to emphasize your sarcasm, someone will always take you seriously.
Realized
The Little Mermaid could have written Eric a note explaining her situation and why he needed to kiss her. That would have been much easier than having Eric ram a giant boat into Ursula.
Realized
We spend more time looking for movies on Netflix than we do watching them.
Realized
Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy bubble wrap.
Realized
What happens in Vegas ends up on Facebook.
Realized
It's a little unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice."
Realized
The only problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
Realized
If you move the letters around in "Spandex" you get "Expands."
Realized
There are no such thing as blue raspberries.
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