Also By UsSlow RobotI Waste So Much TimeI Waste So Much MoneyDear Blank Please BlankAttack of the Cute
Realized
Vegging out has absolutely nothing to do with vegetables.
Realized
Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer is a song promoting conformity.
Realized
I hate being bipolar, it's awesome.
Realized
You know you're old when you go to your HIgh School reunion and all the handicap parking spaces fill up first.
Realized
Strawberry shampoo will never taste as good as it smells.
Realized
If I had a dime for every time a homeless person asked me for money, I'd still say no.
Realized
Mom says no cake for breakfast but then serves dense cake covered in liquid sugar, also known as pancakes.
Realized
The Spanish word for "beard" is feminine. The Spanish word for "dress" is masculine.
Realized
A spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down, unless that medicine is insulin.
Realized
Somewhere in the world, there is always a sunset.
Realized
Dr. Seuss was the world's best rapper.
Realized
The only disease the internet has helped me diagnose myself with is hypochondria.
Realized
My love life is like an iPhone 4S. I don't have an iPhone 4S.
Realized
Everyone that has a puppy thinks theirs is the cutest.
Realized
Professor X can move anything with his mind... except his legs.
Realized
"The Very Hungry Caterpillar" teaches children that they can beome beautiful by eating everything in sight.
Realized
A broken mirror is 7 years of bad luck, a broken condom is 18.
Realized
The best part of the movie always happens when you're in the bathroom.
Realized
Rainbows make the world's biggest sad faces.
Realized
People in movies never have to go pee.