Also By UsSlow RobotI Waste So Much TimeI Waste So Much MoneyDear Blank Please BlankAttack of the Cute
Realized
Edward Cullen is the only guy who would like his girlfriend more when she is on her period.
Realized
Every car on the side of the road at night looks like a cop car.
Realized
In order to solve the abortion and world hunger issues we should let the babies be born, then feed them to the hungry. After all who doesn't love some baby back ribs?
Realized
There is no "I" in "team." But there is one hidden somewhere in "group project."
Realized
Being tall means people always ask you to get things off the top shelf. Therefore asking short people to pick things up from the ground is reasonable.
Realized
If chocolate could check that sound in the middle of the night, there would be no need for men.
Realized
There are braille letters on the drive-up ATM.
Realized
Math problems are the only place where someone can buy 60 watermelons and no one wonders why.
Realized
You can tell a lot about a person by looking at their car. For example, if it's lost and denying help, it's a man.
Realized
Spiderman is just a teenage boy whose body goes through some changes and starts shooting sticky white goo all over the place.
Realized
How come we say "tunafish," but not "beefmammal" or "chickenbird?"
Realized
The more you pay for an article of clothing the less you wear it.
Realized
The nursery rhyme never says that Humpty Dumpty was an egg.
Realized
They sell seafood at Seaworld.
Realized
The grass on the other side is probably AstroTurf.
Realized
Laziness is the mother of all bad habits. But ultimately she is a mother and we should respect her.
Realized
Women wear white on their wedding day because it's the happiest day of their lives. Grooms wear black.
Realized
Vegans would make terrible zombies. They would walk around saying, "GRAAAAINS."
Realized
Based off and based on mean the same thing.
Realized
If you insult yourself, you're being self-depreciating. If another person agrees with you, they are a jerk.