If a picture is worth a thousand words, does that mean that one word is worth one one-thousandth of a picture?
Realized
Guys workout to impress other guys. Tell a girl you bench 275lbs, she will have no idea what you are talking about.
Realized
Whenever I want to tell a funny joke about some ethnicity they're ALWAYS sitting at the next table over.
Realized
"I'm up for that" and "I'm down for that" mean the exact same thing.
Realized
Strangers are like birds. If you run at them screaming and waving your arms, they will run away.
Realized
Strawberry shampoo will never taste as good as it smells.
Realized
If you shake the baby long enough, it WILL stop crying.
Realized
Restaurants have to remind employees to wash their hands.
Realized
No matter how hard you try, you cannot baptize a cat.
Realized
The kids on "The Magic School Bus" never had any parental consent to go on their field trips...
Realized
Cookie dough works with my raw-foods diet. Loophole!
Realized
While eating cereal, reading the box is the most interesting thing you've ever done.
Realized
Angry Birds teaches people that if somebody steals from you, it's ok to kill them to take back what is yours.
Realized
When you walk into a spider web you automatically learn karate.
Realized
The more you pay for an article of clothing the less you wear it.
Realized
Disney Movies have taught me to hate my parents and depend on boys to kiss me and save me from harm.
Realized
My favorite drink came out of a cow's private parts.
Realized
The cure for any "incurable" disease or disorder is to just walk it off. Why do you think they have walks to cure Cancer, Aids, Diabetes, Autism, etc...?
Realized
No matter what you like, there will always be some religion that is against it.
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Realized
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