Also By UsSlow RobotI Waste So Much TimeI Waste So Much MoneyDear Blank Please BlankAttack of the Cute
Realized
Democracy is really great, unless the majority of the people are stupid.
Realized
Our kids will be able to see our Facebook pages.
Realized
There is no difference between partly cloudy and mostly sunny.
Realized
The Wicked Witch of the West never showered.
Realized
90's kids constantly brag about their childhood shows but fail to recognize that their entire generation is characterized solely by the cartoons they watched.
Realized
What happens in Vegas ends up on Facebook.
Realized
If "guns don't kill people, people kill people", then toasters don't toast toast, but toast toasts toast.
Realized
You can't talk while inhaling through your nose.
Realized
No matter how cool we think our music is, 20 years from now it's still going to be played on the Oldies Station, and our kids are still going to think it's lame.
Realized
Voldemort is a lot like a teenage girl. He has a diary, a favourite ring and necklace, a tiara, a special cup, a pet he adores, and an obsession with a famous teenage boy.
Realized
Literature is open to interpretation... as long as it matches your English teacher's.
Realized
I have a lot of jokes about unemployed people, however none of them really work...
Realized
It's a little unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice."
Realized
Teachers say never to use Wikipedia because they are jealous it didn't exist when they were in school.
Realized
Computers are just like air conditioners, they stop working when you open Windows.
Realized
Sneezing is only cute when animals do it.
Realized
Santa Claus is a hairy fat guy who breaks into the houses of little children in the middle of the night.
Realized
The orange and green Fruit Loops are secretly Apple Jacks.
Realized
Roses are red, violets are blue, some poems make sense, banana monkey glue.
Realized
When you wish upon a shooting star, all your dreams will come true. Unless the star is really a meteor about to destroy the Earth. Then you’re pretty much dead and your wish was wasted... unless your wish was death by meteor.