Also By UsSlow RobotI Waste So Much TimeI Waste So Much MoneyDear Blank Please BlankAttack of the Cute
Realized
There are no such thing as blue raspberries.
Realized
What skip to the lou means...
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Babies are not dishwasher safe.
Realized
Optimus is spelled with seven letters. Seven is a prime number. Optimus is prime.
Realized
If it weren't for the gutter, most people's minds would be homeless.
Realized
It's hard to convince your grandma you're not hungry.
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No matter how hard you try, you cannot baptize a cat.
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Celebrities spend all their lives working to become someone that everyone will recognize and then spend their time in dark sunglasses and hats trying not to be reocognized.
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Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.
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The prettiest people are out in public when you look your worst.
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Piracy is the only socially acceptable job for amputees.
Realized
Angry Birds teaches people that if somebody steals from you, it's ok to kill them to take back what is yours.
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Satan probably gets a lot of letters from dyslexic kids during Christmas time.
Realized
Claustrophobic homosexuals must have a hard time staying in the closet.
Realized
Money can't buy happiness, but I'd rather cry in a Ferrari.
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If life gives you melons, you probably have dyslexia.
Realized
We kill people who kill people because killing people is wrong.
Realized
An ex-girlfriend is like an okay movie, you liked it at the time, but you don't want to see it again. Especially if the movie was a wench.
Realized
Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory is a horror movie disguised by candy.
Realized
Those who fail to learn history are doomed to repeat it, at summer school.