Realized
Math problems are the only time two trains can be speeding towards each other, and no one is concerned.
Realized
The best hipster jokes are the ones that nobody tells.
Realized
A broken mirror is 7 years of bad luck, a broken condom is 18.
Realized
The trouble with life is there's no background music.
Realized
Dead people who believe in re-incarnation should have "BRB" written on their tombstones.
Realized
It's hard to convince your grandma you're not hungry.
Realized
College is the only time in which being poor and drunk is acceptable.
Realized
Crematoriums should give a discount for burn victims.
Realized
The only problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
Realized
All of the Disney princesses have serious daddy issues.
Realized
Women wear white on their wedding day because it's the happiest day of their lives. Grooms wear black.
Realized
That awkward moment you realize everyone is listening to your conversation.
Realized
English teachers put more thought into a book than the author does.
Realized
Shouldn't old people drive faster than everyone else since they have less time left to waste?
Realized
Volleyball is just an intense version of "Don't let the balloon touch the floor..."
Realized
There are no such thing as blue raspberries.
Realized
Body spray that smells like Vanilla tastes like disinfectant.
Realized
If Hershey bars printed "You're pretty" on the inside of its wrappers, they would fully replace boyfriends.
Realized
Your mom's recipes are vague and confusing on purpose, so you'll be forced to call her.
Realized
Men have three basic hairstlyles: parted, unparted and departed.
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