Also By UsSlow RobotI Waste So Much TimeI Waste So Much MoneyDear Blank Please BlankAttack of the Cute
Realized
"Google before you tweet" is the new "think before you speak."
Realized
"Jersey Shore" could be renamed to "How to make millions with an IQ of under 50."
Realized
Mario is just an Italian man on a bad shroom trip.
Realized
A fat chance and a slim chance are the same thing.
Realized
We are aliens to aliens.
Realized
"Iron Man" is a super hero. "Iron woman" is a command.
Realized
Most people feed their pets healthier food than they feed themselves.
Realized
People that have welcome mats on their doorstep should not get upset when someone breaks into their house.
Realized
"Yell for help" is not in the list of top 100 things to do before you die.
Realized
A person's most graceful moments occur when no one is watching, while their most embarrassing and clumsy moments occur when everyone is watching.
Realized
Tina Fey would make a better president than Sarah Palin.
Realized
Rain is God's way of giving hobos a shower.
Realized
In 1000 years, archeologists will find tanning beds and think that we fried people as punishment.
Realized
If people actually became dinosaurs when they aged, no one would complain about getting older.
Realized
Violets aren't blue.
Realized
I laugh more over text than in real life.
Realized
I do have superpowers, it's just, my weakness is oxygen.
Realized
There should be an age limit on clothing items.
Realized
Saying "Oh, you're one of those..." can make anyone instantly self-conscious.
Realized
The "silent letters" in words are just typo's from whoever made the first dictionary.