Also By UsSlow RobotI Waste So Much TimeI Waste So Much MoneyDear Blank Please BlankAttack of the Cute
Tips for success
Go trick-or-treating the day after Halloween. When asked what your costume is, tell them you're dressed as a procrastinator.
Tips for success
Always put "For bomb equipment" at the bottom of your checks. Homeland Security will enjoy your sense of humor.
Tips for success
For no nonsense "rock hard" abs, drink liquid cement.
Tips for success
To attain a deeper level of understanding of your girlfriend, go through her purse regularly.
Tips for success
Buy your girlfriend a pair of Sketchers Shape-Ups. She will appreciate your concern for her health.
Tips for success
Major in English.
Tips for success
You can't be late if you don't show up.
Tips for success
If asked which child is yours while standing by a playground at the park, reply with, "I haven't decided yet..."
Tips for success
When girls don't want to talk to you it means they have a crush on you. Be persistent.
Tips for success
You're body will form to whatever you are wearing. To look thinner, wear clothes that are several sizes too small.
Tips for success
Women like men that are mysterious. Always wear a mask.
Tips for success
To ensure that your crush will notice you, pee on them to mark your territory.
Tips for success
When you have a cold, take a laxative instead of cough medicine. Not only are laxatives cheaper, but you'll have a reason to keep from coughing.
Tips for success
After spilling a box of thumbtacks, walking around barefoot can help make sure you found them all.
Tips for success
If at first you don't succeed spray on more Axe, she'll come around.
Tips for success
Locking your door during a fire will usually keep the fire out.
Tips for success
When driving, go down the roads that say "DO NOT ENTER." It's a shortcut that someone doesn't want you to know about.
Tips for success
If your Boss fires you, he was probablly joking. Just continue going to work on your schedule, and he will be proud of you for catching on to his joke. He might even give you a promotion.
Tips for success
When you drop your phone, dropkick it to break its fall.
Tips for success
To heal a broken heart, eat bandaids.