Also By UsSlow RobotI Waste So Much TimeI Waste So Much MoneyDear Blank Please BlankAttack of the Cute
Tips for success
Never charge your phone. It is a sign of dependence, and eventually, it will submit to charging itself.
Tips for success
The best way to get compliments is by insulting yourself.
Tips for success
When buying hair dye, always look at the model's hair style on the box, your hair will look exactly like that.
Tips for success
To ensure that your children will not be saddened by your inevitable death, have your butler smother them in their sleep.
Tips for success
Drive through puddles, even if this means swerving into the wrong lane to get to them.
Tips for success
To clean your hairdryer, simply submerge it in the bathtub with you. Plug it in to speed up the process.
Tips for success
Eat corn on the cob and steak before going to the dentist. This will ensure that you get your money's worth on the cleaning.
Tips for success
When driving, keep in mind that STOP is an acronym for Slight Tap On Pedal.
Tips for success
To attain a deeper level of understanding of your girlfriend, go through her purse regularly.
Tips for success
When on a date with a girl, tell her you're a misogynist. Girls like guys with great massaging skills.
Tips for success
Make sure to yell "shotgun" to the cop arresting you to insure that you get the front seat.
Tips for success
Announce in a empty room, "I know you're listening." Either you just talked to yourself in an empty room or you just freaked out some special organization.
Tips for success
Occasionally drop "no pun intended" into a conversation when there really is no pun, just enjoy the confused look on everyones faces... no pun intended.
Tips for success
Live every day like it's your last... and who does laundry on the last day they're alive?
Tips for success
While driving, slam on your brakes unnecessarily and as often as possible in order to keep everyone around you alert and paranoid.
Tips for success
When running for President, be sure to use the word "maverick," whenever possible.
Tips for success
Shake your baby. It helps develop their muscle tone.
Tips for success
Remember, when you're trying to lose weight, it's the thought that counts.
Tips for success
Get pregnant. You won't have to deal with your period for nine months.
Tips for success
To save time and money, just wear all the clothes you plan to bring on vacation to avoid checked baggage fees at the airport.