Also By UsSlow RobotI Waste So Much TimeI Waste So Much MoneyDear Blank Please BlankAttack of the Cute
Tips for success
To make your own Holy water, boil the Hell out of it.
Tips for success
Randomly point at people and scream necrophiliac. It will show them you have a very broad vocabulary.
Tips for success
If you cut yourself on your neck, the cuts will act like gills and you will be able to breathe underwater.
Tips for success
Before you go and blow up someone's Death Star, make sure that certain someone isn't your dad.
Tips for success
It takes more muscles to frown than to smile. Frown constantly to stay in shape.
Tips for success
Always pilage BEFORE you burn.
Tips for success
Always look your best when getting arrested. You never know when Cops will be filming in your area.
Tips for success
Say no to drugs. Because if drugs are talking to you, you've probably had too much already.
Tips for success
When life gives you lemons, find somebody with a papercut.
Tips for success
The lower a person's pants hang off of them, the cooler they are. To be the coolest person ever, simply wear no pants.
Tips for success
Never take a laxative and a sleep aid on the same night... It won't end well.
Tips for success
To prevent too much blood from flowing through your veins, eat plenty of sausage daily.
Tips for success
Put a dollar sign somewhere in your name and start singing.
Tips for success
Always crush and snort your first pill on the pharmacy counter to make sure they're not passing you some fake drugs.
Tips for success
To get A's in school, always remember to choose A for every answer. Your teacher will see that you are determined and will reward you.
Tips for success
Muscle weighs more than fat. Stop exercising, eat lots of junk food and watch the pounds shed off.
Tips for success
If you love someone cripple them so they can't escape.
Tips for success
When your parents make you do the dishes, break a few in the process. They won't ask you to do the dishes anymore.
Tips for success
To be sure of always hitting the target, shoot first. Call whatever you hit the target.
Tips for success
Use your pants instead of a napkin. People will appreciate your attempt to save paper.