When your wife asks you to see things from her point of view, go look out the kitchen window.
Tips for success
If you can't be a good example, then be a horrible warning.
Tips for success
Looking for a quick way to double your wardrobe? Try wearing your wife's clothing...
Tips for success
To get A's in school, always remember to choose A for every answer. Your teacher will see that you are determined and will reward you.
Tips for success
Eat twice the daily recommended calories. It will make you twice as healthy.
Tips for success
When on a first date, send morse code messages by tapping your utensils incessantly against their glass. This will make him or her realize how clever and mysterious you are.
Tips for success
To teach your nosy neighbors a lesson, name your WIFI network, "send help, held hostage."
Tips for success
Instead of giving your significant other flowers to watch die, send flowers to your enemy with a note that reads, "You're next!"
Tips for success
Say "PEE-KAH" before sneezing.
Tips for success
Whenever you're with a group of friends, always take the last piece of cake. They will appreciate you caring about their health.
Tips for success
Whenever someone says, "I love you," reply with "I understand." They will be happy to know that they got the message across.
Tips for success
Instead of reading your high school English books, listen to Taylor Swift's songs. She really knows her classic novels.
Tips for success
Instead of telling a girl to shut up, say that her mouth is extremely beautiful when her lips are closed.
Tips for success
If your laptop starts to overheat from working too hard, pour a refreshing glass of ice water on it to cool it down and give it a well deserved break.
Tips for success
When downloading large files, turn your computer screen on its side to increase the speed of the progress bar.
Tips for success
When dining alone, buy enough food for two and spread it around the table. It will look like you're waiting for a friend for at least half the meal.
Tips for success
If you love something set it free, if you hate something set it on fire.
Tips for success
Trap a bee in a jar and shake it around. Its stinger will now be disabled.
Tips for success
To avoid awkward situations, put pants on before the guests arrive.
Tips for success
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