Tips for success
If you can't beat the enemy, join them... then kill them in their sleep.
Tips for success
When a woman is upset with you it is often therapeutic for them to make sandwiches. Try suggesting she make you one.
Tips for success
When in doubt, mumble.
Tips for success
While cleaning up after your party, set the leftover alcohol on fire before your parents get home and find it.
Tips for success
If someone you like tells you you're beautiful, tell them they are ugly. Opposites attract.
Tips for success
Become Native American. Get into any college.
Tips for success
When a friend of yours tells you a secret, and says to "Not tell a soul!" It is technically safe to tell all of your ginger friends.
Tips for success
When you think you're crazy, stop, and ask the voices in your head.
Tips for success
Studies show that attraction is based off of signs of fertility. Get pregnant to become more attractive.
Tips for success
Make up your own words and use them as often as possible. People will snoodle your creativity.
Tips for success
When your parents tell you to improve your grades, fail all your classes to give them a parenting challenge.
Tips for success
To save time and money, just wear all the clothes you plan to bring on vacation to avoid checked baggage fees at the airport.
Tips for success
Whenever you are unhappy with your father, watch Star Wars and remember that it could be worse.
Tips for success
Instead of wasting money on a vasectomy, just wear skinny jeans.
Tips for success
Knee socks can be used to hide unshaven legs.
Tips for success
Tell everyone you have a six-pack. Then quietly add "...of crayons."
Tips for success
For the sake of staying well-mannered, using an object instead of your bare hand to hit an old lady is perfectly acceptable.
Tips for success
Don't take a laxative and a sleeping pill at the same time.
Tips for success
When the neighbor's house catches fire, break out the marshmallows.
Tips for success
When looking for your kidnapped girlfriend, always start with the closest castle and go on from there. She couldn't possibly be in the giant, intricate, heavily-guarded castle that's home to the very person you know took her.
EVERYTHING WITHIN A MILLION PIXEL RADIUS OF HERE, COPYRIGHT © GROUCHYRABBIT.COM - CONTACT US - FEEDBACK - TERMS AND PRIVACY