Tips for success
Use a long needle to pop your ears while at high altitudes.
Tips for success
After the third time you ask someone to repeat something and you still can't understand them, just nod your head and smile.
Tips for success
If you can't fix it with duct-tape, you haven't used enough.
Tips for success
Abbreviate 'Save the Date' as STD, it will save time and make everyone happier.
Tips for success
Give your enemies rejection letters from Hogwarts.
Tips for success
Prank call 911. They will love the humor since their jobs are so stressful.
Tips for success
If you see a lady on the train or bus without a seat, be a gentleman and offer her your lap.
Tips for success
When texting and driving, the proper technique is to floor the accelerator and close your eyes.
Tips for success
Do whatever your Rice Krispies tell you to do.
Tips for success
Hit on your bestfriend's mother. That way, you will always be a part of their life long after the friendship has been ruined.
Tips for success
Always borrow money from pessimists. They won't expect it back.
Tips for success
A great way to start a relationship is to casually refer to a random woman as your girlfriend. Repeat this process until she becomes so confused that she actually thinks you are dating.
Tips for success
Be the first of your friends to jump off a cliff to prove to your mom that you are a leader.
Tips for success
When riding in an elevator, be sure to push all the buttons. Your fellow riders will appreciate the fact that you thought of everyone.
Tips for success
When life gives you lemons, make a corny catchphrase about it.
Tips for success
Make to-do list of tasks you have already completed. Cross them off. Feel accomplished.
Tips for success
When someone doesn't text you back, make sure to text them multiple times to show how concerned you are about them.
Tips for success
Don't go to bed angry. Stay awake and plot revenge.
Tips for success
Snort lines of pollen to help build immunity to allergies.
Tips for success
Pour ample amounts of salt onto fresh wounds to prevent infection.
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