Also By UsSlow RobotI Waste So Much TimeI Waste So Much MoneyDear Blank Please BlankAttack of the Cute
Tips for success
Gargle bleach to kill the germs your mouthwash can't.
Tips for success
To hide hickies, apply a tourniquet to the neck.
Tips for success
Stay away from muggers by hiding in dark alleyways.
Tips for success
End every sentence with "according to the prophecy." It will make you seem spiritual, according to the prophecy.
Tips for success
Prank call 911. They will love the humor since their jobs are so stressful.
Tips for success
When snowing, go stand outside with minimal clothing. This will make you invisible. When you can no longer feel yourself you'll know it's working.
Tips for success
Open the chamber of secrets.
Tips for success
Never do anything you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics.
Tips for success
You are what you eat. Eat skinny people.
Tips for success
Never apologize. It is a sign of weakness and is generally frowned upon.
Tips for success
It's a fact that all drinks taste better after being shaken, especially carbonated drinks. Be sure to shake vigorously for optimal taste.
Tips for success
Borrow money from pessimists, they won't expect it back.
Tips for success
Water constitutes 70% of body weight. Stop drinking water to lose weight.
Tips for success
Whenever you lose something, buy a replacement. The old one will turn up shortly thereafter.
Tips for success
To be more efficient with your time, avoid washing your hands after using the restroom.
Tips for success
Don't do today, what you can put off until tomorrow.
Tips for success
When in a fight on Facebook and you don't have a comeback, correct their grammar.
Tips for success
Marry a pedophile. You already know they love kids.
Tips for success
Shooting yourself in the mouth can be an excellent source of iron.
Tips for success
When in doubt, mumble.