Also By UsSlow RobotI Waste So Much TimeI Waste So Much MoneyDear Blank Please BlankAttack of the Cute
Tips for success
For lovely, shiny hair, use bacon grease instead of conditioner.
Tips for success
Whenever someone says, "I love you," reply with "I understand." They will be happy to know that they got the message across.
Tips for success
Don't cry over spilled milk... unless it was part of a five-dollar drink from Starbucks.
Tips for success
To save time in the shower, wash only the top half of your body. Let gravity do the rest.
Tips for success
If you ever see a deer on the road, speed up to scare it out of the way.
Tips for success
If you are friends with your child on Facebook, make sure to like all of their statuses and pictures to reassure your love for them.
Tips for success
When a kid makes faces at you through his bus window, follow him home and make faces at him from his bedroom window at night.
Tips for success
Take a bunch of pictures of yourself and like all your own statues to show people how much self-confidence you have.
Tips for success
Show your driver you trust them by not wearing a seatbelt.
Tips for success
Never take a bullet for anyone. If you have time to jump in front of the person, he has time to move.
Tips for success
When interviewing for a job, don't shower for weeks, your natural pheromones will help you stand out from the other candidates.
Tips for success
If you're attending a funeral, laugh loudly during the service. This helps to lighten the mood and make people feel better.
Tips for success
For no nonsense "rock hard" abs, drink liquid cement.
Tips for success
Relax. Everyone you hate is going to eventually die.
Tips for success
Ask a woman if she has gained weight. She will feel a sense of pride when she can truthfully answer, "No!"
Tips for success
When being chased by a police car, run a red light... either they will stop to follow the law or they will run the light too, in which case you can stop them for breaking the law.
Tips for success
When a girl says "It's cold", she's telling you to keep your jacket on so you won't be cold, too.
Tips for success
If you have a severe allergy to something, try to come in contact with it often in order to build up an immunity.
Tips for success
Don't worry what people think. They don't do it that often.
Tips for success
To improve your math students' productivity, strap time bombs to their chests and hide the unlocking combination in one of the answers.