Also By UsSlow RobotI Waste So Much TimeI Waste So Much MoneyDear Blank Please BlankAttack of the Cute
Tips for success
For an unbiased view of current events, turn to Fox News.
Tips for success
When swinging on the swings at a playground, if you decide to dismount with a flip, make sure to land on a small child or dog. They will help to cushion your landing.
Tips for success
Don't lose sleep over homework. Simply get everyone else to not do it. You teacher will admire your leadership skills.
Tips for success
If you're getting a lot of mosquito bites, try injecting poison into your bloodstream so the mosquitoes die upon biting you.
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Keep your girlfriend clinically obese. It will prevent her from running away.
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During job interviews communicate with only grunts and tongue clicks.
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When your boss tells you she had a great thanksgiving, staring at her midsection and saying "indeed" while nodding your head disapprovingly will often result in a raise.
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The first time you see your lover naked, laugh. It helps break the ice.
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The next time someone asks you what you're eating, simply open your mouth and show them. People will appreciate the visual aid.
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To check if your neighbors have a good escape plan in case of a house fire, set their house on fire. They will thank you later.
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Make beeping noises when a large person backs up. They think it's helpful.
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When trying to lose weight, midnight sugary treats such as chocolate cake can really boost the metabolism that extra little bit.
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If your phone rings during a job interview, make sure to answer it. Your interviewer will realize how important you are and hire you on the spot.
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Like your own statuses on Facebook.
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To avoid Easter with your family this year, try to beat your personal record at driving with your eyes closed on the way over.
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To prevent too much blood from flowing through your veins, eat plenty of sausage daily.
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It's a fact that all drinks taste better after being shaken, especially carbonated drinks. Be sure to shake vigorously for optimal taste.
Tips for success
Be angry all the time. People will admire your persistence.
Tips for success
Change the contact for your mom in your phone to "Lady Gaga." When she calls five times in a minute, you won't look like such a loser.
Tips for success
If you think chivalry is dead, get arrested. The police officers will kindly open and close the car door for you.