Tips for success
To get A's in school, always remember to choose A for every answer. Your teacher will see that you are determined and will reward you.
Tips for success
If someone tells you, "You're dreaming pal!" kick them in the shin. It's ok because after all, it's just a dream.
Tips for success
Help stop over-population. Become a serial killer.
Tips for success
Never shower. Your natural pheremones will build up, and the ladies will be more attracted to you than ever.
Tips for success
Remain calm and call Batman.
Tips for success
Gargle bleach to kill the germs your mouthwash can't.
Tips for success
When you know the answer to a question in class, be sure to wave your hand wildly and make noises of urgency. Your classmates will appreciate your eagerness to enlighten them with your knowledge.
Tips for success
Eat only cookies, pie, cake, and hamburgers. Tell people you are maintaining a well-rounded diet.
Tips for success
Be a total douche to all girls. This will ensure that you never get stuck in the friend zone.
Tips for success
Cover food that has the potential to splatter in the microwave with aluminum foil.
Tips for success
Eating food is too time-consuming. Smoke whenever you feel hungry to suppress your appetite.
Tips for success
Make your New Year's resolution 1440x900.
Tips for success
If you notice wrinkles forming in your birthday suit iron them out.
Tips for success
When making New Year's resolutions it's always best to set extremely attainable goals so people will stop calling you a failure.
Tips for success
Don't spend any quality time with your wife. She'll appreciate the fact that you are so busy and important.
Tips for success
The lower your pants hang off you, the cooler you will seem.
Tips for success
Give out free hugs for $1.
Tips for success
Kill people with kindness, if that doesn't work, use a knife.
Tips for success
To wake up twice as fast in the morning, rather than drinking your coffee, try dumping it in your lap.
Tips for success
When life gives you lemons, squirt life in the face, then take life's wallet.
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