Tips for success
To save time on giving your child "the talk," just let them sift through your spam folder.
Tips for success
Whenever your girlfriend is angry at you, ask her if it's PMS.
Tips for success
Ask the security guard frisking you for their phone number.
Tips for success
If at first you don't succeed spray on more Axe, she'll come around.
Tips for success
If you can't be honest, be very vague...
Tips for success
Live and learn, or die and teach by example.
Tips for success
Eat McDonald's for lunch and KFC for dinner. The calories will cancel each other out.
Tips for success
Don't talk to strangers... unless you ever want to make any friends.
Tips for success
Never eat apples. Your doctor will appreciate your step towards a wonderful friendship.
Tips for success
When getting married, instead of a flower girl, have a leaf girl. Continue to step on all the crunchy leaves as you make your way down the aisle.
Tips for success
When push comes to shove, shove back harder.
Tips for success
Have your cake. Eat it too.
Tips for success
Optimism won't solve all of your problems, but it sure annoys enough people to make it worth it.
Tips for success
When girls don't want to talk to you it means they have a crush on you. Be persistent.
Tips for success
Make sure to yell "shotgun" to the cop arresting you to insure that you get the front seat.
Tips for success
If you are allergic to something, it is best not to put that particular something in your mouth, especially if that something is a cat.
Tips for success
Dump all the leftover scraps from your picnic into the ocean. The fish will appreciate the extra food and use the plastic wrap to build forts in the summer time.
Tips for success
Before you go and blow up someone's Death Star, make sure that certain someone isn't your dad.
Tips for success
Regardless of your server's gender at Friday's, when they ask "What can I get you?" respond with "A date."
Tips for success
Whilst doing your driving test, drive with no hands. It shows the instructor you are confident.
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