Tips for success
To teach your nosy neighbors a lesson, name your WIFI network, "send help, held hostage."
Tips for success
Wearing your underwear over your pants is the first step to becoming a superhero.
Tips for success
When a zombie tells you that they want brains, what they mean is they want an education. Don't be afraid to help them.
Tips for success
Kill people with kindness, if that doesn't work, use a knife.
Tips for success
When getting a haircut, continue nodding your head in approval the entire time, so that your hair-stylist knows you like the work that they've done.
Tips for success
To save time in the shower, wash only the top half of your body. Let gravity do the rest.
Tips for success
Make sure to leave all your windows and doors open when you have the air conditioner on. It will help cool down the earth and slow global warming.
Tips for success
People may tell you spandex isn't for you, these people are just jealous.
Tips for success
When lifting, use your back, not your knees. This will help build muscle and prevent future back injuries.
Tips for success
Become Native American. Get into any college.
Tips for success
Important things are boring. While in class yell out "BORING!!!" Your teacher will appreciate that you think school is so important.
Tips for success
Always keep a baseball bat in your car for emergencies. You never know when you'll have to play an emergency game of baseball.
Tips for success
When you see someone you've stalked on Facebook, ask them about the things that they have posted about on their Facebook. They will be amazed by your intellectual knowledge.
Tips for success
When getting a blood transfusion, check to make sure you're getting authentic tigers' blood.
Tips for success
Make her pay for dinner on the first date. This will ensure a second date because you now owe her money.
Tips for success
Get pregnant at 16. Put the baby up for adoption. Collect checks from MTV.
Tips for success
Tell your significant other how much you love them on Facebook every day so the entire world can appreciate the strength of your relationship.
Tips for success
When people decide to hate you for no reason, give them a reason.
Tips for success
Buy a Hummer and wear Ed Hardy t-shirts.
Tips for success
When going on a date, always bring along a weird, creepy friend of yours. That way you'll seem really cool in comparison.