Tips for success
When buying hair dye, always look at the model's hair style on the box, your hair will look exactly like that.
Tips for success
Eating value meals at work will show your boss that you are money conscious.
Tips for success
Always grunt and make loud noises while in the bathroom, it will let others know that the toilet is already in use.
Tips for success
Wear the most dirty and disgusting clothes that you own to scholarship interviews to make sure they see how much you need the money.
Tips for success
When drowning be sure to take in water, it contains vital oxygen.
Tips for success
Stop showering. You will save water and girls will love how much you care about the environment.
Tips for success
Be sure to pick up women at Babies 'R' Us. That way you know they all put out.
Tips for success
When using a microwave oven, always press your face on the window to ensure your food is cooking properly.
Tips for success
When your girlfriend says anything, make sure you repeat her in a voice that sounds like hers. Women love to know that they're being listened to.
Tips for success
Never take your own advice, it makes you seem arrogant and snobbish to those around you.
Tips for success
Go to the pharmacy. Get a box of condoms. Ask where the fitting room is.
Tips for success
Go to a playground with your new-born baby. When someone says "That's such a cute little baby!" tell them that's why you kidnapped it.
Tips for success
Always ignore other's opinions. You will be admired for your independence.
Tips for success
Instead of paying money for a custom liscence plate, legally change your name to the one that they gave you.
Tips for success
You can milk anything with nipples.
Tips for success
Texting while driving is dangerous. Be sure to practice constantly to improve your abilities.
Tips for success
If your glass is always half empty, buy smaller glasses.
Tips for success
To ensure that you attract all kinds of women, use multiple sprays of all the different colognes that you own.
Tips for success
If someone hates you for seemingly no reason, give them a reason.
Tips for success
To make your own Holy water, boil the Hell out of it.
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