Tips for success
Never eat anything new. You may be allergic to it and die.
Tips for success
When texting and driving, the proper technique is to floor the accelerator and close your eyes.
Tips for success
Shave minutes off your morning routine by peeing in the sink as you brush your teeth.
Tips for success
Tell the person you're flirting with that you're currently married. Everyone wants what they can't have.
Tips for success
In order to prevent hangovers, be sure to maintain a high alcohol content in your bloodstream at all times.
Tips for success
Talk with your mouth full. This will let the cook know that you like their food too much to stop eating while having a conversation.
Tips for success
When in an argument, use a British accent. The other person will believe you are extremely intelligent and therefore bend to your will.
Tips for success
Get married on February 29th, this way you only have to buy your wife flowers once every four years.
Tips for success
Save your breath, you are going to need it to inflate your valentine.
Tips for success
If you are accused of something, you might as well do it.
Tips for success
You can milk anything with nipples.
Tips for success
Borrow money from pessimists. They never expect it back.
Tips for success
When being chased by a police car, run a red light... either they will stop to follow the law or they will run the light too, in which case you can stop them for breaking the law.
Tips for success
When someone tells you to, "expect the unexpected," slap them in the face and ask them if they expected it.
Tips for success
Right before opening a soda bottle or can, shake it vigorously to mix all the flavor together, therefore making your drink taste better and more satisfying.
Tips for success
If you want to be taken more seriously, never blink.
Tips for success
Look both ways before you cross the street. For all you know there could be someone giving out free candy in the middle of the street.
Tips for success
If you're on a strict liquid diet, try melting the butter.
Tips for success
Diet pills make for an excellent Valentine's day gift for your wife.
Tips for success
Your friends will really appreciate it if you look at their internet history. It shows that you care about what they see on the internet.
EVERYTHING WITHIN A MILLION PIXEL RADIUS OF HERE, COPYRIGHT © GROUCHYRABBIT.COM - CONTACT US - FEEDBACK - TERMS AND PRIVACY