Tips for success
Write bad songs, sing them horribly and brush your teeth with a bottle of jack.
Tips for success
If you dislike your village, go live in the jungle. You'll find singing bears and friendly panthers who will feed you.
Tips for success
To impress girls, tell them that you support "youth in Asia."
Tips for success
If you ever have to break up with your girlfriend, do it over text message. It is less traumatic than doing it in person, and she'll appreciate your sensitivity.
Tips for success
Every breath you take is one step closer to death. Simply stop breathing.
Tips for success
Never tell a girl you like her, it makes you look like an idiot.
Tips for success
When on a diet eat the whole package of cookies at once. This will effectively remove future temptations.
Tips for success
When entering a closed space with many other people, like buses and airplanes, cough loudly without covering your mouth. It will help others to build up their immune systems.
Tips for success
Filling in every bubble on a ScanTron will result in all correct answers.
Tips for success
When someone doesn't text you back, make sure to text them multiple times to show how concerned you are about them.
Tips for success
When conversing with a British person, speak only about tea or they won't understand you.
Tips for success
If your glass is always half empty, buy smaller glasses.
Tips for success
Drive on the wrong side of the road to promote international understanding and sympathy.
Tips for success
Always remember that you are unique. Just like everyone else.
Tips for success
To prevent global warming, turn on your air conditioner as high as it will go. Then open all your doors and windows.
Tips for success
If your significant other tells you that they are "seeing other people," he or she is hallucinating and needs professional help immediately. Reassure them that you will always be there for them in this period of darkness.
Tips for success
Women like men that are mysterious. Always wear a mask.
Tips for success
Buy a Hummer and wear Ed Hardy t-shirts.
Tips for success
Looking for a quick way to burn fat? Try pushing a chubby kid into an oven.
Tips for success
To ensure you never cut yourself while chopping vegetables, get a friend to hold the vegetable.
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