Tips for success
When your chemistry teacher tells you to never mix chlorine with ammonia he is trying to stop you from discovering the way to make gold. Mix them in chem lab to become rich.
Tips for success
To get whiter teeth, simply cover them with whiteout.
Tips for success
To wake up twice as fast in the morning, rather than drinking your coffee, try dumping it in your lap.
Tips for success
You're body will form to whatever you are wearing. To look thinner, wear clothes that are several sizes too small.
Tips for success
When finally killing the serial-killer that's been chasing you for days, don't check to see that he's really dead. Instead, sit down and take a rest.
Tips for success
Never follow an overweight middle-aged woman into the bathroom.
Tips for success
Eating toilet paper will eliminate the need to wipe after you use the restroom.
Tips for success
If you're choking, simply drink Drano to unclog your throat.
Tips for success
When the neighbor's house catches fire, break out the marshmallows.
Tips for success
Have hope; have faith; have confidence. If all else fails, have insurance.
Tips for success
Spend as much time as you could have spent studying for an exam trying to come up with a way to cheat on it instead.
Tips for success
If you can't win the argument, correct their grammar instead.
Tips for success
To get to Hogwarts, run into the walls at train stations. If people give you funny looks, it's only because they're jealous muggles.
Tips for success
A week before going to the dentist, don't brush your teeth or floss. Your dentist will appreciate the challenge.
Tips for success
Police have a lot of down-time. Call 911 frequently to keep them on their toes.
Tips for success
If someone you like tells you you're beautiful, tell them they are ugly. Opposites attract.
Tips for success
If you and your friend run into a bear in the woods and you only have one bullet left in your gun, shoot your friend in the leg.
Tips for success
To ensure that no one smashes your car windows to steal stuff, leave your car unlocked.
Tips for success
Instead of reading your high school English books, listen to Taylor Swift's songs. She really knows her classic novels.
Tips for success
Sing the Pink Panther theme song when stealing things. This raises your stealth ability by 50%.
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