Also By UsSlow RobotI Waste So Much TimeI Waste So Much MoneyDear Blank Please BlankAttack of the Cute
Tips for success
Don't count your chickens before they hatch, just eat the eggs.
Tips for success
If someone you like tells you you're beautiful, tell them they are ugly. Opposites attract.
Tips for success
Hard work never killed anyone, but why take the chance?
Tips for success
Eat corn on the cob and steak before going to the dentist. This will ensure that you get your money's worth on the cleaning.
Tips for success
When a friend calls themselves ugly, agreeing with them will show them that you value their opinion.
Tips for success
Convince your teacher that doing homework is against your religion.
Tips for success
If she turned you down then you didn't use enough duct tape.
Tips for success
If you don't feel like going to the doctor, it's ok to call in sick. They'll understand, and will be happy to reschedule your appointment.
Tips for success
When people say "don't try this at home," they are being sarcastic.
Tips for success
Cough on your friends when you're sick. They will thank you when they get to call in sick for work.
Tips for success
Cut your driving time in half, double your speed.
Tips for success
If you are accused of something, you might as well do it.
Tips for success
Don't study until the night before a big exam. This will ensure that all the information is fresh in your mind.
Tips for success
If you can't get a hot guy to go out with you, throw dates at him. Then you can tell people you dated a hot guy.
Tips for success
The next time someone asks you what you're eating, simply open your mouth and show them. People will appreciate the visual aid.
Tips for success
Cut down lots of trees to make room for eco-friendly houses. The environment will thank you.
Tips for success
The lower a person's pants hang off of them, the cooler they are. To be the coolest person ever, simply wear no pants.
Tips for success
When someone tells you to, "expect the unexpected," slap them in the face and ask them if they expected it.
Tips for success
Leave your sidewalk unshoveled in the winter. It will give the pedestrians the feeling of hiking across Alaska without the cost of airfare.
Tips for success
To test how much your boyfriend or girlfriend loves you, tell them that you hate the present they got you.