Tips for success
When in the locker room, always comment on how big the other men's genitals are. They will be flattered by the praise.
Tips for success
To get a song out of your head, you must yell the lyrics into the ear of the person nearest to you.
Tips for success
Say "PEE-KAH" before sneezing.
Tips for success
When going on a date, always bring along a weird, creepy friend of yours. That way you'll seem really cool in comparison.
Tips for success
Water makes up 80% of your weight. To slim down, stop drinking water.
Tips for success
Get a friend who stutters. It's like having a DJ with you 24/7.
Tips for success
You can die in the blink of an eye. Don't blink.
Tips for success
If your laptop starts to overheat from working too hard, pour a refreshing glass of ice water on it to cool it down and give it a well deserved break.
Tips for success
If you can't beat the enemy, join them... then kill them in their sleep.
Tips for success
Stop exhaling, it will save the planet from carbon emissions.
Tips for success
Put deodorant on top of your clothes so people can smell it better.
Tips for success
To get A's in school, always remember to choose A for every answer. Your teacher will see that you are determined and will reward you.
Tips for success
When texting and driving, the proper technique is to floor the accelerator and close your eyes.
Tips for success
To avoid awkward silences while on dates, never stop talking.
Tips for success
Time is money. Steal clocks.
Tips for success
Always keep a baseball bat in your car for emergencies. You never know when you'll have to play an emergency game of baseball.
Tips for success
Sing the Pink Panther theme song when stealing things. This raises your stealth ability by 50%.
Tips for success
Alcohol kills germs. Drink plenty to keep your insides clean.
Tips for success
To clean your hairdryer, simply submerge it in the bathtub with you. Plug it in to speed up the process.
Tips for success
A pillow held firmly to your partner's face is an excellent cure for snoring.