Also By UsSlow RobotI Waste So Much TimeI Waste So Much MoneyDear Blank Please BlankAttack of the Cute
Tips for success
When going for a job interview always stare at the boss' chest. It'll let her know that you're the kind of person who looks at the heart of a person.
Tips for success
Tell your girlfriend that there's a court case going on in your pants and she's summoned. It'll make her think you're super mature.
Tips for success
Never compliment your girlfriend. She will become so insecure that she won't even think of leaving you.
Tips for success
If she keeps talking about how she wishes she had a date to the dance, bring up the dozens of girls you've turned down. It will make her feel less alone.
Tips for success
When driving, speed up and hit jay-walkers. The police will appreciate that you stopped the law violators for them.
Tips for success
Before you insult someone, always walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you insult them, you're a mile away and have their shoes.
Tips for success
Leave the doors and windows of your house unlocked at night, burglars will assume you have nothing valuable and won't come in.
Tips for success
When signing up for a dating website, make your username, "Little Kid Lover" to show women that you are serious about starting a family.
Tips for success
Pictures are worth a thousand words, especially during essays.
Tips for success
Use multicolored duct tape, it makes the hostages feel more at home.
Tips for success
The average person unknowingly swallows about 8 spiders a year. Why not get it over with now?
Tips for success
To get twice as many uses, turn your underwear inside out.
Tips for success
There is no need to buy both a washing machine and a dishwasher, they are interchangeable.
Tips for success
To impress girls, tell them that you support "youth in Asia."
Tips for success
When people decide to hate you for no reason, give them a reason.
Tips for success
If you're choking, simply drink Drano to unclog your throat.
Tips for success
If your significant other tells you that they are "seeing other people," he or she is hallucinating and needs professional help immediately. Reassure them that you will always be there for them in this period of darkness.
Tips for success
When talking to a foreign person, try to talk with their accent. It will increase the probability of them understanding you.
Tips for success
Say no to drugs, it'll drive the price down.
Tips for success
If your Boss fires you, he was probablly joking. Just continue going to work on your schedule, and he will be proud of you for catching on to his joke. He might even give you a promotion.