Tips for success
If you accidentally set off the fire alarm at school, burn all of the evidence.
Tips for success
Never drink and drive. You might spill it going around a corner.
Tips for success
Be sure to pick and eat your scabs. You'll be doing your body a favor by returning precious blood to where it belongs rather than letting it fall and go to waste.
Tips for success
Important things are boring. While in class yell out "BORING!!!" Your teacher will appreciate that you think school is so important.
Tips for success
To save money on clothes, eat lots of food, the extra body fat will help you keep warm.
Tips for success
If someone you like tells you you're beautiful, tell them they are ugly. Opposites attract.
Tips for success
Whenever you're with a group of friends, always take the last piece of cake. They will appreciate you caring about their health.
Tips for success
When your girlfriend says anything, make sure you repeat her in a voice that sounds like hers. Women love to know that they're being listened to.
Tips for success
Sleep upside down. The more blood in your brain, the smarter you will be in the morning.
Tips for success
A chapter a day keeps illiteracy away.
Tips for success
To avoid oversleeping, simply place a set mouse trap on top of your snooze button.
Tips for success
When a friend of yours tells you a secret, and says to "Not tell a soul!" It is technically safe to tell all of your ginger friends.
Tips for success
To make a good first impression on your roommate, on the first day of classes turn their alarm clock off. They will appreciate the extra sleep.
Tips for success
When you go on a job interview, make sure to wear the competitor's brand. This shows that you are familiar with the industry.
Tips for success
Create an alter-ego on Facebook to comment on all of your statuses and write on your wall. It will make you seem cool and not desperate at all.
Tips for success
Ignore your girlfriend occasionally, she'll think you're playing hard to get.
Tips for success
Punch your friends in the face periodically throughout the day to keep them on their toes.
Tips for success
Your friends will really appreciate it if you look at their internet history. It shows that you care about what they see on the internet.
Tips for success
Help fight childhood obesity by stealing candy from babies.
Tips for success
When texting and driving, the proper technique is to floor the accelerator and close your eyes.
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