Also By UsSlow RobotI Waste So Much TimeI Waste So Much MoneyDear Blank Please BlankAttack of the Cute
Tips for success
You are what you eat. Eat skinny people.
Tips for success
If Cupid's arrow can't reach their hearts, bullets should do the trick.
Tips for success
Tell everyone you have a six-pack. Then quietly add "...of crayons."
Tips for success
Girls like strong guys. Punch them in the face to show how strong you are.
Tips for success
Tape rocks to your iPod so it syncs faster.
Tips for success
Sprinkle yourself with glitter before going on a date.
Tips for success
Studies show that attraction is based off of signs of fertility. Get pregnant to become more attractive.
Tips for success
Switch shake weight with a baby, you will get a much better workout.
Tips for success
Always carry a permanent marker. You never know when you'll need to write something lame on a bathroom stall wall.
Tips for success
For lovely, shiny hair, use bacon grease instead of conditioner.
Tips for success
To make a good first impression on your roommate, on the first day of classes turn their alarm clock off. They will appreciate the extra sleep.
Tips for success
Put a dollar sign somewhere in your name and start singing.
Tips for success
When you get sad, stop being sad and be awesome instead.
Tips for success
Go to the pharmacy. Get a box of condoms. Ask where the fitting room is.
Tips for success
Shout, "Release the hounds! " at the sight of Jehovah Witnesses at your front door.
Tips for success
Make up your own words and use them as often as possible. People will snoodle your creativity.
Tips for success
Duct tape the remote control to your hand, so you never have to worry about losing it.
Tips for success
Say no to drugs, it'll drive the price down.
Tips for success
To improve your grades, eat Asian food the night before a math test.
Tips for success
If you are worried that you will not be remembered after you die, kill as many people as possible. Their families will remember you forever.