Also By UsSlow RobotI Waste So Much TimeI Waste So Much MoneyDear Blank Please BlankAttack of the Cute
Tips for success
If the cops are flashing their lights at you, they want to see just how fast you can really drive. Impress them.
Tips for success
Instead of asking people to pass you food, just reach over the table. Your friends and family will appreciate that you're trying to save them the trouble.
Tips for success
Start a fire in your house every week to ensure the sprinklers work perfectly in case real fire ever occurs.
Tips for success
If you cut yourself on your neck, the cuts will act like gills and you will be able to breathe underwater.
Tips for success
Make your dying words, "Respawning in 3...2...1..."
Tips for success
To give your car a little extra energy, simply add sugar to the gas tank.
Tips for success
If asked which child is yours while standing by a playground at the park, reply with, "I haven't decided yet..."
Tips for success
Always answer your cell phone at the movie theater. It shows the other guests that you are popular and well-liked and in turn, they will like you.
Tips for success
Don't be in the room when your wife is in labor, it's considered poor etiquette.
Tips for success
If you and your friend run into a bear in the woods and you only have one bullet left in your gun, shoot your friend in the leg.
Tips for success
Drink a lot of alcohol before your driver's test, it will give you the confidence needed to pass.
Tips for success
Whenever you really want to see someone, simply talk badly about them to another person and when you turn around, he will be standing there.
Tips for success
Revenge is a dish best served cold. Feed your enemies poisoned ice cream.
Tips for success
Make sure to leave all your windows and doors open when you have the air conditioner on. It will help cool down the earth and slow global warming.
Tips for success
Slugs love salt. Carry a little salt shaker in your bag so you can give a slug a surprise snack when you see him.
Tips for success
You can never have too many fanny packs.
Tips for success
If someone ever makes you upset remember that eventually that person will die.
Tips for success
When going for a job interview always stare at the boss' chest. It'll let her know that you're the kind of person who looks at the heart of a person.
Tips for success
When pulled over by a policeman, always ask what the problem is, and whether or not it can be solved over a box of donuts.
Tips for success
Women love a man in uniform. Go clubbing in your McDonald's uniform.