Also By UsSlow RobotI Waste So Much TimeI Waste So Much MoneyDear Blank Please BlankAttack of the Cute
Tips for success
Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Don't teach a man to fish, and you feed yourself. He's a grown man. Fishing's not that hard.
Tips for success
If you dislike your village, go live in the jungle. You'll find singing bears and friendly panthers who will feed you.
Tips for success
Put air quotes around random words. People "will" appreciate your fresh take on communicating.
Tips for success
Go to a playground with your new-born baby. When someone says "That's such a cute little baby!" tell them that's why you kidnapped it.
Tips for success
If your friend wants to learn to drive, don't stand in the way.
Tips for success
Post lots of pictures of yourself partying it up on your Facebook profile. This will show potential employers your sense of fun, and that you know how to have a good time.
Tips for success
Use a small child as a sled. It really doesn't matter if there is snow or not. Just find a hill.
Tips for success
Grab fries from your best friend's plate. It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb calories if you take it from another person's plate.
Tips for success
You are what you eat. To remain youthful, eat children.
Tips for success
Women love a man in uniform. Go clubbing in your McDonald's uniform.
Tips for success
Save money on a treadmill by walking up the down escalator.
Tips for success
Never apologize. It is a sign of weakness and is generally frowned upon.
Tips for success
Don't eat soap, no matter how good it smells.
Tips for success
If you feel that nobody cares if you're alive or dead, simply try missing a couple of bill payments.
Tips for success
Pee on your girlfriend's leg. She will be flattered that you consider her to be part of your territory.
Tips for success
If you love something, set it free. If it doesn't come back, hunt it down and kill it.
Tips for success
To save time, always assume the sliding glass door is open when running.
Tips for success
Always grunt and make loud noises while in the bathroom, it will let others know that the toilet is already in use.
Tips for success
Cat hacking up hairballs? Simply add Drano to their water bowl.
Tips for success
Prank call 911. They will love the humor since their jobs are so stressful.