To do list
Kill Black. Frame Bieber.
To do list
Go to the South Pole. Do a handstand. Hold the earth up.
To do list
Learn to be patient faster.
To do list
Set alarm clock for PM instead of AM. Show up two hours late for work.
To do list
Walk to fridge. Return to seat disappointed. Repeat.
To do list
Make an online dating site for bullies. Name it intimidating.com.
To do list
Next time you fall and someone asks if you're okay, say, "I don't think you understand the gravity of this situation!"
To do list
Send PETA animal crackers. Half eaten.
To do list
Change last name to "Ramirez." Re-apply to college.
To do list
Buy Hannah Montana socks. Step on her face regularly.
To do list
Buy a chameleon, put it on a mirror, see what colour it turns.
To do list
Get a job at a fortune cookie factory. Write on all the papers, "Your fortune is in another cookie."
To do list
Talk to bread companies about simply removing the end pieces of each loaf of bread.
To do list
Walk into Sea World with a fishing pole.
To do list
Get a windshield that is made from my eyeglass prescription. Watch people who get in my car freak out because they can't see anything.
To do list
Walk into an elevator full of strangers and say "I bet you're all wondering why I've gathered you here today..."
To do list
Go through severe pains to give birth to a child. Hold child birth against child for the rest of their life.
To do list
Put blue Gatorade in a Windex bottle. Drink it in public.
To do list
When someone tells you that violence is never the answer, ask them, "What rhymes with silence?"
To do list
Become a doctor. Change last name to Pepper.
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