Also By UsSlow RobotI Waste So Much TimeI Waste So Much MoneyDear Blank Please BlankAttack of the Cute
To do list
Buy a Volkswagen beetle. Drive past children and watch them punch each other.
To do list
Steal friend's phone. Change your contact name to "Nature." Call friend.
To do list
Go out wearing sweats and no makeup. Be suddenly surrounded by hot people.
To do list
Bring a sprinkler inside a strip club. Literally make it rain.
To do list
Withdraw money from the ATM. Scream "I won! I won!"
To do list
Put transvestites faces on cartons of half and half.
To do list
Plan to be spontaneous.
To do list
Put blue Gatorade in a Windex bottle. Drink it in public.
To do list
Destroy a small child's dreams. Kick a puppy. Set DVR to record Spongebob.
To do list
Do my daily shopping while wearing a ski mask.
To do list
Take a caffeine pill and a sleeping pill before a test. See which one wins.
To do list
Fill cup with water. Hold over head. Breathe under water forever.
To do list
Go into a bank wearing a ski mask. Complete a normal transaction. Leave as if nothing is wrong.
To do list
Cross-breed horse and narwhal. Make unicorn.
To do list
Prepare an ice cream sundae. Watch The Biggest Loser.
To do list
Create a new brand of ice cream. Write messages about how "he doesn't deserve you" on the inside of the container. Make millions.
To do list
Go to a Weight Watchers meeting. Bring cake.
To do list
Close browser window. Get a life.
To do list
Get into an argument. Realize I'm wrong. Continue arguing.
To do list
Steal doughnut truck. Make cops chase you.