Also By UsSlow RobotI Waste So Much TimeI Waste So Much MoneyDear Blank Please BlankAttack of the Cute
To do list
Make plans to stop procrastinating in the future.
To do list
Buy a horse, name it "Oscar Takes the Lead," enter it in horse races.
To do list
Find a sleeping mosquito. Make a buzzing noise to wake it. Enjoy the taste of sweet revenge.
To do list
Sneeze in front of the pope. Get blessed.
To do list
Become a manager at Subway. Tell female co-workers to get back to making sandwiches.
To do list
Change name to Curiosity. Kill cats.
To do list
Coat hands in glue. Peel off. Repeat.
To do list
Follow a family around a tourist attraction so that I appear in all their photos, when they look back.
To do list
Ignore millions of years of geologically proven patterns. Freak out about global warming.
To do list
Invent a bubble wrap that when you pop it, scented air comes out.
To do list
Plan to be spontaneous.
To do list
Invent time machine that only moves forward at normal pace.
To do list
Quit job. Make house into a heavily fortified bomb shelter. Await the zombie apocalypse.
To do list
Change name to Destiny. Have a child.
To do list
Walk into an elevator full of strangers and say "I bet you're all wondering why I've gathered you here today..."
To do list
Next time you fall and someone asks if you're okay, say, "I don't think you understand the gravity of this situation!"
To do list
Tell your kids they can be anyone they want to be when they grow up. Then, explain to them how to commit identity theft.
To do list
Send PETA animal crackers. Half eaten.
To do list
Walk into a bar with a Priest and a Rabbi. Observe the bartender's reaction.
To do list
Shop at Crate and Barrel. Complain that there are no crates or barrels available for purchase.