Also By UsSlow RobotI Waste So Much TimeI Waste So Much MoneyDear Blank Please BlankAttack of the Cute
To do list
Separate dog food from Lucky Charms.
To do list
Make a Where's Waldo action figure. Don't put him inside the box.
To do list
Destroy the gnome that keeps tangling my iPod headphones.
To do list
Become clown. Scare children.
To do list
While wearing sunglasses and a suit, casually carry a leather briefcase out of an exploding building.
To do list
Use a Shake Weight while wearing a Snuggie and Pajama Jeans. Mourn the loss of my dignity.
To do list
Cure cancer. Tell no one.
To do list
Divide by zero. Escape math class through the wormhole it creates.
To do list
Host party. Serve non-alcoholic beer. See how many people pretend to get drunk.
To do list
Walk up to an employee at a Walmart and say "Code 3 in housewares" in a very official voice and see what happens.
To do list
Say something really mean through texting. Blame auto correct.
To do list
Sneeze in front of the pope. Get blessed.
To do list
Go into a bank wearing a ski mask. Complete a normal transaction. Leave as if nothing is wrong.
To do list
Cut open a globe to find what is really inside the earth.
To do list
Change name to Simon. Tell people to do stuff.
To do list
Wear my sisters jeans, tell everyone I got in her pants.
To do list
Use idioms that don't relate to anything you're talking about, because a penny saved is a penny earned.
To do list
Go to the beach. Bury metal objects that say "Get a life" on them.
To do list
Unwrap a bag of jolly ranchers and cough drops. Rewrap the jolly ranchers in cough drop wrappers, go to school with a "cough."
To do list
Become teacher. Make all multiple choice answers "A." Smirk to self as students double and triple check their answers in disbelief.