Become a skydiving instructor. Pretend the parachute won't open.
To do list
Go to library to write essay. Wake up three hours later.
To do list
Go to Wal-Mart. Enjoy self esteem boost.
To do list
Find a bruised apple on the shelf. Give it a soft hug and whisper, "Who did this to you?"
To do list
Go to the South Pole. Do a handstand. Hold the earth up.
To do list
Picture someone mad. Now picture them saying banana.
To do list
Become teacher. Write test. Make all of the answers C.
To do list
Make a sign that gives instructions on how to flush yourself to the Ministry of Magic. Put in middle school bathroom stalls.
To do list
Train an owl to deliver rejection letters from Hogwarts to my enemies.
To do list
Wait until someone is about to sneeze. Right before they do, loudly scream "PIKA PIKAAAA!!"
To do list
When dead, be buried in a spring-loaded casket full of confetti. Now wait for an archaeologist to have one heck of a day at work, some time in the future.
To do list
Order a glass of melted ice with extra frozen water.
To do list
Take laxative and anti-diarrhea pills. See which one works better.
To do list
Sneeze in front of the pope. Get blessed.
To do list
Buy 67 watermelons. When people stare, tell them you are doing research for a math project.
To do list
Invent a windshield wiper that won't leave that anonoying triangle.
To do list
Get fat over the holidays. Make New Year's resolution to get thin. Wait a year. Repeat.
To do list
Become teacher. Make all multiple choice answers "A." Smirk to self as students double and triple check their answers in disbelief.
Tips for success
Facts
Signs that things aren't going so well
Realized
To do list
Definitions
Popular
Moderate
About us
