Also By UsSlow RobotI Waste So Much TimeI Waste So Much MoneyDear Blank Please BlankAttack of the Cute
To do list
Cross-breed horse and narwhal. Make unicorn.
To do list
Ignore millions of years of geologically proven patterns. Freak out about global warming.
To do list
Bring a sprinkler inside a strip club. Literally make it rain.
To do list
Find couple at the mall holding hands. Run through them yelling "Red Rover!"
To do list
Name dog Stay. Teach him to come.
To do list
Adopt oriental kid. Dominate spelling bee.
To do list
Go into a store's fitting room. After several minutes yell loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
To do list
Spend thousands of dollars on college education. Get free school t-shirt.
To do list
Make two cakes. This way, you can have your cake and eat it too.
To do list
Get grenades. Play a game of catch with Bruno Mars.
To do list
Make coffee. Put in hair extensions. Tell everyone my name is Jessica.
To do list
Invent gnome-proof pockets. Never have tangled headphones again.
To do list
When dead, be buried in a spring-loaded casket full of confetti. Now wait for an archaeologist to have one heck of a day at work, some time in the future.
To do list
Start singing "The Wheels on the Bus" on a public bus, and try to get everyone to join in.
To do list
Become a Disney channel star. Grow up. Check into rehab.
To do list
Get a dog. Name it curiosity.
To do list
Spot a random girl in public. Approach her, kneel to one knee and shout, "She said yes!"
To do list
Shoot the sheriff. Don't shoot the deputy.
To do list
Feed cat some yarn. Hope it gives birth to mittens.
To do list
Create a new brand of ice cream. Write messages about how "he doesn't deserve you" on the inside of the container. Make millions.