Also By UsSlow RobotI Waste So Much TimeI Waste So Much MoneyDear Blank Please BlankAttack of the Cute
To do list
Make an alcoholic beverage and name it Responsibly. Drink Responisbly.
To do list
Create a machine that pairs socks with their long-lost pair. Make millions.
To do list
Invent gnome-proof pockets. Never have tangled headphones again.
To do list
Walk into Sea World with a fishing pole.
To do list
Go through severe pains to give birth to a child. Hold child birth against child for the rest of their life.
To do list
Put sign over entrance to an empty auditorium which reads, "Ninja Convention."
To do list
Post a Facebook status expressing everything mean you've always wanted to say. Post another an hour later apologizing on behalf of the very rude person who hacked your account.
To do list
Sneeze in front of the pope. Get blessed.
To do list
Date a cross-eyed girl. Dump her because she was seeing someone else.
To do list
While wearing sunglasses and a suit, casually carry a leather briefcase out of an exploding building.
To do list
Say something really mean through texting. Blame auto correct.
To do list
Dress up as a leprechaun. Take cereal from little kids.
To do list
Put an elephant in the room.
To do list
Clip a combination lock into the ring of someone with hollow ear gauges. Run away.
To do list
Make elaborate Hogwarts rejection letters. Put in mailboxes of my enemies.
To do list
Name dog Stay. Teach him to come.
To do list
Become teacher. Dress up as Gandalf. Tell class they shall not pass.
To do list
Prepare an ice cream sundae. Watch The Biggest Loser.
To do list
Stand in back of crowded elevator. Meow occasionally.
To do list
Destroy the gnome that keeps tangling my iPod headphones.