To do list
Send PETA animal crackers. Half eaten.
To do list
Make vanilla pudding. Put in mayo jar. Eat in public.
To do list
Never say stop when the people at Olive Garden grate cheese over your meal.
To do list
Set phone ringtone to crying baby. When phone rings punch bag and yell "SHUT UP!"
To do list
Get fat over the holidays. Make New Year's resolution to get thin. Wait a year. Repeat.
To do list
While wearing sunglasses and a suit, casually carry a leather briefcase out of an exploding building.
To do list
Host party. Serve non-alcoholic beer. See how many people pretend to get drunk.
To do list
Date a cross-eyed girl. Dump her because she was seeing someone else.
To do list
Move to Korea. Work at nail salon. Make Korean people feel like you're talking about them in English.
To do list
Approach Stranger in Wal-Mart. Act really excited and squeal about how long it has been since you last saw them. See if they pretend to recognize you.
To do list
Audition for American Idol. Start singing one song, then switch in the middle to "Never Gonna Give You Up." Rickroll America.
To do list
Live forever. So far, so good.
To do list
Simply walk into Mordor.
To do list
Move office into elevator. When people get on, ask if they have an appointment.
To do list
Find someone who thinks people are basically good, kill them.
To do list
Procrastinate gardening outside. Tend to plants on Farmville.
To do list
Sneeze with eyes open.
To do list
Make a Where's Waldo action figure. Don't put him inside the box.
To do list
Introduce Dora to Google Maps.
To do list
Get dog. Name her Payback.
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