To do list
Order a glass of melted ice with extra frozen water.
To do list
Take laxative and anti-diarrhea pills. See which one works better.
To do list
Go to toy section in Wal-Mart. Spin top in the middle of the isle. Walk away and watch passers-by as they start questioning reality.
To do list
Steal donut truck. Be amused while cops chase after donut truck.
To do list
Wrap myself in bubble wrap. Walk around holding a sign that says "Free hugs."
To do list
Lie down on the ground. Know that the Earth has my back.
To do list
Go to the South Pole. Do a handstand. Hold the earth up.
To do list
Go to a Christian store. Make a purchase that totals $6.66.
To do list
Choke a smurf. See what colour it turns.
To do list
Audition for American Idol. Start singing one song, then switch in the middle to "Never Gonna Give You Up." Rickroll America.
To do list
Dress up as stormtrooper. Go into cellphone store. Find the droid you're looking for.
To do list
Walk into Sea World with a fishing pole.
To do list
Become gender-reassignment surgeon. Play "I'll Make A Man Out Of You" during the surgeries.
To do list
Get a female dog. Name her Karma.
To do list
Set alarm clock for PM instead of AM. Show up two hours late for work.
To do list
Call 867-5309. Ask for Jenny.
To do list
Get fat over the holidays. Make New Year's resolution to get thin. Wait a year. Repeat.
To do list
Make vanilla pudding. Put in mayo jar. Eat in public.
To do list
Make elaborate Hogwarts rejection letters. Put in mailboxes of my enemies.
To do list
Call friend. Pretend friend was the one calling me.
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