To do list
Take a caffeine pill and a sleeping pill before a test. See which one wins.
To do list
Get addicted to cold turkey. Quit cold turkey.
To do list
Work at Starbucks. Loudly mispronounce Asian names as revenge for stealing all the college scholarships.
To do list
Put baby in the corner.
To do list
Buy a Volkswagen beetle. Drive past children and watch them punch each other.
To do list
Go into a store's fitting room. After several minutes yell loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
To do list
Break personal record for days without dying.
To do list
Drop out of college. Start a multi-billion dollar company.
To do list
Become a vet. Find a sick animal named Cancer. Cure cancer.
To do list
Go to Turkey. Gobble at the locals. Insist I'm speaking thier native language.
To do list
Get a dog, name her Karma.
To do list
Go into a crowded elevator and say, "I bet you're all wondering why I gathered you here," with a straight face.
To do list
Hide money in pocket of winter coat. Forget money is there. Get excited when you find the money there come winter time.
To do list
Find out whose cruel idea it was to put an "s" in the word "lisp." Give them a high-five.
To do list
Change name to "Google." Insist that I know everything.
To do list
Find a rhino. Sign it up to WeightWatchers. Watch it become a unicorn before your very eyes.
To do list
Buy Grim Reaper costume. Stand outside nursing home and wave.
To do list
Find a cookie. Tell yourself that eating the cookie is a bad idea. Eat the cookie anyway. Regret eating the cookie. Deal with guilt by eating more cookies.
To do list
Spot a random girl in public. Approach her, kneel to one knee and shout, "She said yes!"