Also By UsSlow RobotI Waste So Much TimeI Waste So Much MoneyDear Blank Please BlankAttack of the Cute
To do list
Cry for an hour. Check phone for new messages. Go to Walgreens to buy more Kleenex.
To do list
Break a mirror with a rabbit's foot.
To do list
Google: let it snow.
To do list
Go up to your alarm clock when it's sleeping and yell "How does it feel?!"
To do list
Drop out of college. Start a multi-billion dollar company.
To do list
Become gender-reassignment surgeon. Play "I'll Make A Man Out Of You" during the surgeries.
To do list
Write "This way to the Ministry of Magic" on the lid of a public toilet.
To do list
Go to library to write essay. Wake up three hours later.
To do list
Open store next to Forever 21. Name it "Finally 22."
To do list
Make elaborate Hogwarts rejection letters. Put in mailboxes of my enemies.
To do list
Buy a guitar. Learn three chords. Call Disney.
To do list
Get on WebMD. Self-Diagnose. Become the first male with cervical cancer.
To do list
Buy a sword. Name it Kindness. Kill them with Kindness.
To do list
Go trick or treating the day after halloween. When asked what you are, reply, "a procrastinator."
To do list
Find a rhino. Sign it up to WeightWatchers. Watch it become a unicorn before your very eyes.
To do list
Take mentos and freeze into ice cubes. Put the ice cubes into your friend's diet coke. After five minutes their drink will randomly explode.
To do list
Steal doughnut truck. Make cops chase you.
To do list
Kill everyone that stands in the way of world peace.
To do list
Imagine a world with no hypothetical situations.
To do list
When leaving the restroom, don't completely dry your hands. Grab a nearby person and ask, "Can you help me get my car keys out of the toilet?"