To do list
Take a midnight train going anywhere.
To do list
Attend the hanging of an amputee. Shout letters.
To do list
Tell small children that the ice cream truck only plays music when there is no more ice cream.
To do list
Get socks for Christmas. When opening the present say "Dobby is free!"
To do list
Change name to Frank. Start every sentence with "I'm going to be Frank..."
To do list
Tell kids the bubbles they are blowing are flavored. When they taste it and become upset, explain that they are soap-flavored.
To do list
Never say stop when the people at Olive Garden grate cheese over your meal.
To do list
Post a Facebook status expressing everything mean you've always wanted to say. Post another an hour later apologizing on behalf of the very rude person who hacked your account.
To do list
Introduce Dora to Google Maps.
To do list
Find a rhino. Sign it up to WeightWatchers. Watch it become a unicorn before your very eyes.
To do list
Put peeled onions on a stick, dip in chocolate. Hand out to children trick or treating.
To do list
Replace deodorant with white chocolate. Eat in public.
To do list
Change last name to "Ramirez." Re-apply to college.
To do list
Call 867-5309. Ask for Jenny.
To do list
Watch Disney Channel for five minutes. Apologize to Walt for so many things.
To do list
Shoot the sheriff. Don't shoot the deputy.
To do list
Move to Korea. Work at nail salon. Make Korean people feel like you're talking about them in English.
To do list
Buy lots of interesting books that I'm dying to read. Spend all my free time browsing pointless websites instead.
To do list
Turn off computer. Weep for lost innocence.
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