Also By UsSlow RobotI Waste So Much TimeI Waste So Much MoneyDear Blank Please BlankAttack of the Cute
To do list
Spread sparkly glitter all over my body. Go to the mall and stare at everyone like they're a piece of meat.
To do list
Spot a random girl in public. Approach her, kneel to one knee and shout, "She said yes!"
To do list
Train an owl to deliver rejection letters from Hogwarts to my enemies.
To do list
Run into a store, ask what year it is. When someone answers, yell "It worked!" and run out cheering.
To do list
Date a cross-eyed girl. Dump her because she was seeing someone else.
To do list
Make a Where's Waldo action figure. Don't put him inside the box.
To do list
Eat my neighbor's baby. Tell him it was Godzilla.
To do list
Learn how to say "Thank you for the pedicure!" in Korean.
To do list
Physically kill someone with kindness.
To do list
Brag about white supremacy. Go tanning.
To do list
Go to a fast food place. Tape a sign to the voicebox that says "Broken, please yell!"
To do list
Go into a crowded room. Shout, "HOW COULD YOU CHEAT ON ME?!" Whoever turns around is a bad person.
To do list
Invent a windshield wiper that won't leave that anonoying triangle.
To do list
Smack kid in the face with bottle of Johnson's No More Tears shampoo. Sue Johnson & Johnson for false advertising.
To do list
Go to random person's house, put "free" signs on all lawn furniture.
To do list
Go to Civil War reenactment. Murder strangers.
To do list
Spread nutella on diaper. Lick in public.
To do list
Cut open a globe to find what is really inside the earth.
To do list
Write "Happy Birthday!" on a random friend's wall. See how many other people follow.
To do list
Put sign over entrance to an empty auditorium which reads, "Ninja Convention."