Also By UsSlow RobotI Waste So Much TimeI Waste So Much MoneyDear Blank Please BlankAttack of the Cute
To do list
Scribble on a sheet of paper. Sell it to a modern art museum.
To do list
Replace deodorant with white chocolate. Eat in public.
To do list
Open a male lingerie store. Call it "Victor's Secret."
To do list
Put empty cereal box in cabinet. Watch family members have disappointment for breakfast.
To do list
Become teacher. Dress up as Gandalf. Tell class they shall not pass.
To do list
Get a windshield that is made from my eyeglass prescription. Watch people who get in my car freak out because they can't see anything.
To do list
Pretend to be a telemarketer when a telemarketer calls.
To do list
Stand in a crowded elevator. Say "What a strange place for a piano." Watch as people turn around to look for the piano.
To do list
Begin Google search. See top search results. Lose faith in humanity.
To do list
Fill cup with water. Hold over head. Breathe under water forever.
To do list
Put on a long white dress. Hitchhike. When picked up, drive for five minutes. Then say, "Be careful up this turn here, this is where I died..."
To do list
Leave a box in the corner of an elevator, when someone gets on, ask them if they hear a ticking noise.
To do list
Go to Australia. Locate 42 Wallaby Way, Sydney.
To do list
Label everything "Organic." Charge double the price.
To do list
Crossdress. Lie about gender. Become a popstar.
To do list
Stand in an elevator. Every time someone walks in scream that they stepped on my invisible friend.
To do list
Learn Korean. Get pedicure.
To do list
Open club in Alaska. Name it "Baby Seals."
To do list
Find a cookie. Tell yourself that eating the cookie is a bad idea. Eat the cookie anyway. Regret eating the cookie. Deal with guilt by eating more cookies.
To do list
Put sign over entrance to an empty auditorium which reads, "Ninja Convention."