Also By UsSlow RobotI Waste So Much TimeI Waste So Much MoneyDear Blank Please BlankAttack of the Cute
To do list
Go to grocery store. Ask cashier if they are checking me out.
To do list
Label everything "Organic." Charge double the price.
To do list
Set several clocks one minute apart. Make several wishes at 11:11.
To do list
Audition for American Idol. Start singing one song, then switch in the middle to "Never Gonna Give You Up." Rickroll America.
To do list
Jump into a taxi and scream "Follow that car!"
To do list
Use idioms that don't relate to anything you're talking about, because a penny saved is a penny earned.
To do list
Wrap myself in bubble wrap. Walk around holding a sign that says "Free hugs."
To do list
Destroy the gnome that keeps tangling my iPod headphones.
To do list
Get addicted to cold turkey. Quit cold turkey.
To do list
Kill Black. Frame Bieber.
To do list
Buy a turtle. Name it "The Speed of Light." Tell everyone that I can run faster than "The Speed of Light."
To do list
Work at Starbucks. Loudly mispronounce Asian names as revenge for stealing all the college scholarships.
To do list
Change iPod name to "Titanic." Download new songs. Be amused by the fact that the Titanic is syncing.
To do list
Call friend. Pretend friend was the one calling me.
To do list
Teach kids that obesity is cool by riding in a wheel chair and getting to the front of the line at Disney World.
To do list
Go to the beach. Bury metal objects that say "Get a life" on them.
To do list
Smack kid in the face with bottle of Johnson's No More Tears shampoo. Sue Johnson & Johnson for false advertising.
To do list
Buy treadmill. Hang coat on it.
To do list
Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of a store that doesn't have valet parking.