Also By UsSlow RobotI Waste So Much TimeI Waste So Much MoneyDear Blank Please BlankAttack of the Cute
To do list
Steal donut truck. Be amused while cops chase after donut truck.
To do list
Make sign that says, "Honk if you hate car horns."
To do list
Allow hands to become idle. Engage in the work of the Devil.
To do list
Become a vet. Find a sick animal named Cancer. Cure cancer.
To do list
Name your kid Waldo. This way, when he is absent from school, the teacher will say "Where's Waldo?"
To do list
Wear my sisters jeans, tell everyone I got in her pants.
To do list
Spend thousands of dollars on college education. Get free school t-shirt.
To do list
Become teacher. Dress up as Gandalf. Tell class they shall not pass.
To do list
Pee in empty Mountain Dew bottle. Drink in public.
To do list
Learn to be patient faster.
To do list
Go to the airport. Set off the metal detector at security. Tell them that it was probably your abs of steel.
To do list
Clip a combination lock into the ring of someone with hollow ear gauges. Run away.
To do list
Walk to pizza store. Order delivery. Get free ride back to your house with pizza.
To do list
Change Microsoft Word autocorrect to automatically change Voldemort into He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.
To do list
Get a job with the U.S. Mint. Get paid to make money.
To do list
Make plans to stop procrastinating in the future.
To do list
Become a doctor. Eat an apple a day. Have intense internal struggles.
To do list
Physically kill someone with kindness.
To do list
Make two cakes. This way, you can have your cake and eat it too.