Also By UsSlow RobotI Waste So Much TimeI Waste So Much MoneyDear Blank Please BlankAttack of the Cute
To do list
Join the Army. Visit exotic places. Meet strange people. Kill said people.
To do list
Eat the thumbs I have been storing in my freezer for the past three months. Mockingly text an apology to my victims. Take a bubble bath.
To do list
Get a walk-in closet. Design the inside to look like Narnia.
To do list
Change last name to "Ramirez." Re-apply to college.
To do list
Tell a knock knock joke through a door.
To do list
Dress up like Waldo for your class photo.
To do list
Buy an extremely expensive camera. Tell people you are a photographer.
To do list
Get a female dog. Name her Karma.
To do list
Write gullible on the ceiling,.
To do list
Discover an element. Name it surprise.
To do list
Locate the security camera in a store. Stand in front of it. Hold up a sign that says, "I know you're watching me."
To do list
Empty a bottle of vodka. Fill the bottle with water. Bring it to school and drink in class. Watch the teacher's jaw drop.
To do list
Read Twilight. Cry over the death of literature.
To do list
Find a tree where elves make cookies. Rob it.
To do list
Open club in Alaska. Name it "Baby Seals."
To do list
Become a doctor. Eat an apple a day. Have intense internal struggles.
To do list
Put bumper sticker on car that reads, "Honk if you have a small penis." Intentionally cut people off in traffic.
To do list
Shoot the deputy as well.
To do list
Hear a noise in the house while home alone. Mentally figure out how to use every object in the room as a weapon.
To do list
Teach kids that obesity is cool by riding in a wheel chair and getting to the front of the line at Disney World.